The secret story of the SISAS's
by Ludra90
Summary: Does Ataru Moroboshi love Lum? If not, why doesn't he chase her away? If yes, why does he run from her? How can a lecher like him not to yield at her seduction attempts? These and other answers in this organic fanfic! But what does "organic" mean?
1. Chapter 1

Hi guys, I'm Ludra90! Some of you probably know me for seeing me lurking around the site reviewing some stories… now I believe is the time to post something myself!!

Although, the beautiful following fanfiction is NOT a work of mine, but the one of my dear friend Andy Grim, who kindly allowed me to translate it.

Hell right! My role in this is to translate his Italian fanfiction to all of you, since I think it's such a brilliant work!

Quoting Andy Grim's words I shall warn you that "The secret story of the S.I.S.A.S.'s" is surely a very different kind of story than the classic "run-around-asking-girl-fly-around-zapping-him" ones. But please, give it a try! You won't be disappointed!

One last thing…ehm…I'm not a native English speaker, so my English may be not so fresh and perfect, so please don't be too harsh with me! XD

I want to give a special thank you to my friend-sempai Crazyjw18 who supported me in doing this and, obviously, to Andy Grim who made it possible!!

Urusei yatsura and its characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. There are few characters from Mr. Grim's imagination. Do not use this story without my/his permission.

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_"__Men always want to be a woman's first love._

_ Women have a more subtle instinct about things. __They like to be a man's last_ romance."

**Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)**

"_I want to be free from a girl, because I want to keep loving her"_

**Ataru Moroboshi (from the movie **_**Beautiful Dreamer)**_

**Introduction**

This tale means to answer a question that surely crossed the mind of all the fans of the _Urusei yatsura_ saga: how could the most lecherous man of all the universe (in the world Ataru Moroboshi) refusing all the _advances_ made to him by his forced consort (in the world Lum) with the hope to induce him to consummate their relationship and so having him up against the wall?

First off, we need to define precisely that the decision of the Moroboshi's Organic Council to never overstep a purely platonic relationship with the "Oni princess", was based mainly on three fundamental considerations:

Fewer (head of the Cerebral section) feared that, taking her virginity away, Moroboshi

wouldn't have the chance to "gain time" anymore and he would be forced to officially marry her, even before of being sure of his feelings.

Simons (head of the Neurologic section) wanted to show Miss Lum that her "Darling" wanted to preserve his freedom, even if that meant to refuse her cares. Besides, that's for sure by now, he wanted make her understand that Moroboshi considered her above all the other women and that he sought much more than just sex from her…!

Percival (head of the Genetic section) feared, most of all, an electric jolt during the intercourse that, reaching the brain from the member through the spinal cord, might have caused irreparable damages, death not excluded!

In vain his colleague of Lum's Genetic went to a great deal of trouble to explain him the gynaecological safety circuits would prevent every shock during the sexual activity: without this precaution how could the Oni race reproduce? Although Percival preferred to stay wary …!

Although, managing to keep a purely platonic relationship with such a female, in which beauty and sensuality were amalgamate in an explosive mix (even supplemented by the scantily clothing) was theoretically unthinkable for any male of the human race (earthling or not) let alone the most lecherous man of all the universe (Moroboshi was so recorded on the computer of the Uru Information Center: that same Computer that – they would have us believe that – had chosen him randomly)!

Lum managed to steal some "electric kiss" from her "hubby" and shift from the A to the C_(1)_ would be just a matter of time! So, the head of the Sensitive section, Jerry Humper, was called by the Coordinator (or rather by A1) and it was a colloquy that left him appalled…practically they were asking him to transform the super-lecherous Ataru Moroboshi in a phlegmatic British lord, every single time he would found himself alone with his _wifey_…!

The poor guy retired himself for days, until at last…flash of genius or demonic inspiration (…), Jerry Humper conceived, designed and realized the notorious SISAS device, whose name was just the acronym of "_Sensual Impulse Selective Auto Shunter"_.

And now, here's finally told the whole story…!

_1__) Physical intercourse classification with the opposite sex: A=kiss, B=petting, C=intimacy or full intercourse; it does exist also the D (pregnancy) that simply defines the possible consequence of the C intercourse._

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**The Secret Story of the S.I.S.A.S.'s**

Chapter 1: "What's that thing?"

* * *

"Damn it! Aren't we done yet…? I'm worn out!"

"Hold on a bit longer, Rusty: we're almost finished."

"I really hope it…these damned inspections to the receptor circuits kill you!"

"You know well they're necessary. Sure, if our friend would be a little _quieter_ specimen…"

"Yeah…no human being would be able to wear out the coronary arteries as that damn pervert does. Just our luck, of all the people we had to get this debauched to take care of…!"

"Each man has his own destiny…just like every organic complement of his, anyway!" the older of the two commented, stopping to examine a quadrant that indicated the state of life of a nerve cell. He noted down something on the chart he pulled out of his lab coat and added: "Ok this one's done too. Come on, let's go!"

"Slow down a bit, for God's sake! My feet are killing me, with these damned safety boots."

The workmate nodded tiredly - his feet ached as well - and let his gaze lingering on the writing that stood out at irregular intervals upon the wall of the nerve passage:

**DO NOT LEAN IN : SUDDEN ELEC****TROCUTIONS DANGER**

"Another strict necessity." He sighed, resigned.

"Yeah, but I really wish to know why the Cerebral demands for us to wear them 24 hours a day…!"

"Brad Fewer knows what's what. And you know too those shocks could come in any moment."

"Even when those two stoned are sleeping?"

"Of course: try to think what would happen if Ataru started talking in his sleep, dreaming about some missed prey… if _she_, who sleeps so lightly, heard him, she wouldn't think twice!"

"So how long all this is going to last, boss? In any case, after the El planet thing, that jerk couldn't deceive no one anymore. The degree of the Relational Coefficient is clear: he's madly in love with her!"

The workmate and immediate superior, slapped an hand over his mouth: "Shut that mouth of yours, you irresponsible fool! If the Coordinator heard you, he'd kick both of our asses, don't you see?"

I only see we're acting out of every logic: we're uselessly hurting her and the staff is on the verge of a blue fit. All my colleagues are of the same mind!"

"Taking decisions on the conduct of a life is not a duty of the organic team. Only the interested individual can do that."

"And to think that if he had had a bit more of courage…he could quite pronounce it, that damned 'I swear'!"

We tried Rusty, but everything happened way all of sudden_(1)_: he couldn't be already ready. You'll see one day he will."

As long as that tiger bikini-clad stakhanovite doesn't get tired and dumps him before of that. Frankly, I don't think Ataru would survive…!"

"And she wouldn't either. No, I believe that by now we are on a turning point of their relationship. I don't know, but I feel something is going to happen!"

"Like what?"

"Well…" the organic complement Hugh Simons, head of Ataru Moroboshi's Neurologic section, suddenly shifted his attention on a suspicious humming sound he heard in that moment and, all of sudden…

"Rusty: LOOK OUT…!!"

With a blistering move he floored his workmate, just in time to avoid for him to be swept by a bulky object falling from above. Once the panic and the crash stopped, the two realized to be in front of a complex cylindrical device with several squared bulges lying, battered and smoking, on the floor. The stumps of the nerve ducts that connected it when it was in place, chopped by the fall, were sparkling and sizzling…

"Are you alright, Rusty…?" Simons asked, wiping at his sweaty forehead.

"Yeah, yes…I'm fine…fright aside. But…what's that thing…? Heck, it could even kill us!" he approached it.

"Stay back, do not touch it: it could be dangerous!"

"I wonder what the hell is it…I've never seen a devilment like this before. May it be an adrenaline accumulator?"

The head-section turned to him; his face turned pale.

"No" he answered, with slight trembling voice "it's a SISAS…!"

* * *

Hugh Simons had knelt down on the strange device that almost swept them.

He had pulled out of his pocket a device that, apparently, seemed to be a magnetic fields detector and was anxiously observing the data that were appearing on the instrument's display.

"So, boss" his colleague said "Do you mind explaining me what's this damned thingamabob that almost bumped off us supposed to be? How did you call it? SIF…SIS…"

"SISAS" the other answered, still deep in his observations "that's incredible…I thought that the anchorage bolts gave away for the weight, but it's not like that: the matter disintegrated in that point. This shunter is completely collapsed!"

"A shunter? You mean this instrument is a bypass?"

"Exactly: this thing is one of the 13 bypasses we planted around, almost four years ago."

"And what they had to bypass?"

The head-section of the Neuro stared at his workmate for long while, with a hint of an enigmatic smile on his face: "It's sad when a responsible has to omit an important affair from his immediate collaborators, Rusty…but this whole thing was top-secret: only the heads of the Cerebral, the Sensitive, the Neuro and the Genetic sections were in the know."

"Of the _Genetic section_…? The young complement widened his eyes "Don't tell me these shunters had to limit the sexual currents?!"

"That's right: SISAS means _Sensual Impulse Selective Auto Shunter(2)_. They served to avoid for Ataru Moroboshi to lose control, at the right moment!"

Rusty burst out laughing: "That was really good…! Since we're in the body of the most lecherous man of all the universe, I wouldn't say these SISAS's had worked so well, isn't it? Ah, ah, ah…!

"You're very wrong, Rusty: they had worked _way_ too well: Miss Lum's virtue, still intact, proves that!"

Rusty immediately stopped laughing and Simons continued on "Did you ever ask yourself, my boy, why the most lecherous man of all the universe _never_ pounced on his exuberant bride? How could he resist her amorous proffers? Why this interplanetary marriage hasn't been consummate yet?"

"You…you mean that those bypasses served to…to…"

"That's correct, Rusty: they served not making them jumping into bed!"

"But…but why…?"

Instead of answering Hugh Simons turned away from his appalled assistant and approached a nearby communicative terminal: "Simons to Immunitary: it's urgent the recovery of a collapsed ASD in the passage 26. 1st priority." He hung up the communication and addressed his collaborator again "Cheer up, my friend: didn't I say something was going to happen? You'll see that your worries about Miss Lum's happiness stop soon!"

"What that means, boss…?" the other asked with curiosity and anxiety mixed up in his voice.

But the superior just went away, waving his hand.

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1) Here they refer to the events told in the full-length film __**Only you**__ from 1983. _

_2) Many times, for concision, they were also called ASDs (anti-seduction device)._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: "Do you realize what you're asking me?"

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Jerry Humper could not believe his own ears. In front of him there was the organism's highest authority, the Coordinator himself, no less than "A1" (the Coordinators of all the human organisms are designated by the initial of the baptismal name of the individual they have to direct, followed by number 1), who just had given him an absurd task: Ataru Moroboshi, the most lecherous man of all the universe, the libertine by vocation, should have been made able to resist to the charms of his space consort: a very buxom and seductive sex bomb and, in addition, alien (the different, it's common knowledge, fascinates in a particular way)!

"I'm perfectly aware of that, Jerry" the Coordinator replied "and I know full well we're talking about an almost impossible task…nevertheless, if there's someone who can solve the problem inside here, that someone is surely you."

"I'm flattered, sir…but this won't help at all. Considering our friend's peculiarities and the ones of the individual we have to face, I assure you the only way to avoid for him to fall into Miss Lum's arms, is to castrate him!"

"Don't be so drastic, dear Humper: I'm not asking you to make him completely indifferent to that alien's charm. Let's say that he'll have to keep some control, to manage keeping himself at distance."

"_Keeping himself at distance_…??! That's comical! We kept trying to reduce his libido, over the years…and what's the result? And you know too what's the main reason of his behaviour: the practically absolute lack of female hormones makes impossible to balance the sex urges of this organism in an acceptable manner. Why that girl should be an exception?"

"Because we don't want him pouncing on her just like he tries to do with all the other girls. There's three reasons for that: First, it would give her all the rights to be considered his wife. Second, we still don't know what the results would be of copulation with an alien woman. Third, if Lum really loves Ataru as she claims to do, we don't want her to have intercourse with him; not before that out-and-out pig reciprocates her love."

Humper stood there scratching his epidermis for a good while, looking daggers at the big boss. Then he asked: "Have I got a blank check?"

"As much as you want: do all what you think is necessary to succeed. But succeed!"

"All right" Humper stood up "but let's get this clear, I won't be responsible of eventual collateral effects, nor other unexpected consequences!"

"You have my guarantee."

The head of the Sensitive section greeted and left the Coordinator's office.

* * *

KNOCK…KNOCK…

"Come in…" Chris Wellington sternly answered finishing to consult a report while he heard the steps approaching. When the noise stopped, he lifted his head to point his gaze toward the element who just entered: "Glad to see you again, Jerry. What news?"

The other just set down a dossier on the superior's desk, who, however, didn't even look at it, he just put a second question: "Did you solve the problem?"

After having stared for few moments at the Organic Coordinator of the most lecherous boy of all the universe, his sensitive responsible dryly answered: "Yes…at least on a theoretical point of view."

A1 showed a smirk: "Naturally I had no doubt, my good man" he gestured for him to sit down "Now tell me how you had succeed!"

Jerry Humper briefly explained the basilar principles of the ALIN system, the solution that he formulated with the purpose to inhibit the sex urges of their assisted toward his forced girlfriend: "It's substantially a matter of filtration: all the signals with a different frequency than Miss Lum's cerebral waves will be received by the sensual processor, while hers will be all blocked."

"Excellent" the Coordinator mumbled, flipping curiously over the dossier's pages, trying in vain to make head or tail among all those formulas and electronic diagrams "I hope it's an unassailable system, though!"

"What you mean?" the subordinate asked.

"Well, for example…" the Coordinator mumbled "…I wonder what would happen if…Lum administered to Ataru some…ehm…aphrodisiac!"

"Nothing at all" Humper answered, shaking his head: "An aphrodisiac simply _amplifies_ the _outputs _of the sensual processor, altering their modulation. But if that same processor doesn't receive _anything _inbound, by virtue of the SISAS's action (they are no more than _band_ _excluding_ filters_(1)_) nothing will be amplified and transmitted to the Genetic's receivers. Therefore…" he spread out his arms eloquently.

"Your genius is really beyond compare, Mr. Humper. Without your help, those _she-demons(2)_ would have worn us out from the beginning! I offer you my deepest congratulations."

"It will be better waiting to see them at work, first."

"Practice had never controverted your theory, Jerry: at least until now."

"Correct, _until now_!" he replied, with a slight tremble of his voice.

"I'd be willing to wager that everything is going to be flawless. Proceed!"

"Yes sir…!" the subordinate sighed.

"What's the matter Humper? Do you really fear some complication?"

"Nothing of technical nature, commander. It's just…well, if I have to say it…I don't like all of this. Not a bit!"

Chris Wellington scrutinized him for a long time: "Well, if this helps you…between you, me and the lamppost, I don't like it either!" he then said.

"So _why _we're doing it?!" the head of the Sensitive asked emphatically.

"I already explained you and I'd offend your intelligence if I did it again. Now go!"

"They'll hate us, inside there, sir…!" Humper prognosticated, already raised up, staring at the oneiric portrait behind the Coordinator.

He turned to look at the picture too. Finally, he calmly ruled: "Yes…in fact, they probably will. But, in the end, you'll see they thank us."

The head of the Sensitive had anything to object anymore and left that office to fulfil his order.

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1) __Circuits that 'cut' all the signals included in a determined frequency interval, mitigating their amplitude within the perception threshold of the receiver._

_2)__ He means Lum's organics! _


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: "The shunters can't bear it anymore!"

* * *

Christopher W. Wellington, code name "A1", Coordinator of the human being Ataru Moroboshi (known in all the planet as its saviour) was sitting at his desk, resting his head in his right hand and drumming on the table top with the fingers of the left one.

In front of him, standing with their hands clasped behind their backs, feigning a calmness they didn't feel, there were Brad Fewer, head of the Cerebral section and Hugh Simons, head of the Neurologic; frequently they exchanged brief and silent glances, then they eventually came back looking at the supreme commander. They have been there for at least a couple of hours and a bit longer than three hours have passed since when Simons and his collaborator assisted at the fall of that device named _SISAS_.

Not being able to hold back the evident nervousness, Wellington stood up and started to walk around the room, keeping his arms crossed and his stare fixed down to the floor.

At one point he stopped in front of a picture hung on the wall, obtained from an oneiric file. It represented a splendid creature a little older than seventeen, with long and flowing hair that owned unusual blue-green reflexes, on which stood out two very original golden horns. She had wonderful eyes and a smile with a sweetness beyond compare.

A1 contemplated her with clenched lips, then he pronounced these words: "Why? There are billions of boys on this fucking planet…and that girl choose this one! _Why_?!"

The other two went back exchanging a melancholy glance. Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Come in!" the Coordinator answered.

Other two organic complements entered the office. They were August Percival, head of the Genetic section and Jerry Humper, head of the Sensitive, who held in his hand a roll of projects. After they had closed the door, the Coordinator grow tense and lifted his chin, pointing it toward them: "Well…?"

Humper shared a glance with Hugh Simons and addressed the boss directly.

He spread out his arms and replied: "Unfortunately, it's exactly as I feared!"

"That means…? Try to be clear and succinct, Jerry!"

"Yes sir! In short, the collapsed ASD got out of order for a very simple reason: it completely became saturated!"

"_Saturated_??" the others chorally asked.

"Indeed. The complete saturation of the internal condensers and so the build-up of charge in the structure produced a molecular scission that caused the disintegration of the support members. Then, the detachment and the fall."

"But…can it happen to the other 12 devices too?!"

The head of the Sensitive stared decidedly at the Coordinator of the organism: "Not _it can happen_, sir: _it will_ _happen_ surely. And very soon, no less!"

Hugh Simons and August Percival turned frighteningly pale, while Brad Fewer just shook his head. A1 let slip an hollow curse: "Holy demons of all the universe!! (…)Just how could have it happen??"

"I don't know, sir" Humper continued "I'm very sorry…I designed them with the greatest meticulosity and I believed I considered all the eventualities. Unfortunately…and obviously…I've probably made some mistake. I won't plead any kind of excuses, commander: I'm the only one to blame for this!" he concluded, lowering his eyes.

"No, Jerry: it's not your fault. If there are some responsible, these are Simons and me!"

The Coordinator, who has went back to sit at his seat and was pressing his fists against his temples, roused; noticing the firm gaze of the person who had spoke up and Simons nodding one, he demanded: "What does that mean, Percival? What are you saying…?"

August Percival, responsible of the Genetic section (the one, just to be clear, that should have arranged to give children to Lum) resolutely spoke again: "Humper really didn't make any mistake in the achievement of those SISAS's, sir: he magistrally applied his knowledges on the base of the data Simons furnished and I elaborated. The problem is…er, well…it's hard to admit, but…we didn't consider a little and banal detail!"

"What _little and banal detail_, Percival…?!" Wellington shouted, exasperated.

"You see, sir" Simons explained " When we took the decision of using those shunters, Miss Lum was only fourteen…therefore…"

"…therefore" Percival continued on "the data we sent to the Sensitive and that Humper used for the design of the SISAS's, made them capable to bear the sensual charm of a fourteen teenager. Nothing more!"

Drops of cold or maybe hot sweat appeared on A1's forehead, who slowly began to understand: "You mean that now…" his voice trembling.

"Exactly" Percival confirmed "now, Miss Lum's almost eighteen. Over the last four years she has wonderfully filled out…she has got all the things in the right places…so…"

"So, in short, the shunters can't bear it anymore" Humper himself concluded "the amount of impulsive energy they have to keep to avoid for it to reach the Genetic demodulators largely overwhelms the resistance threshold of the condensers, that can't discharge sufficiently during the sleeping time of the organism…so…they collapse!"

"That's terrible! Don't tell me it doesn't exist _any_ remedy?!"

"Not any…unless to separate this organism from the source of the impulses for a discrete period of time. In other words, Mr. Moroboshi should spend several months (even supposing that he can) away from his companion, to give us the chance to replace the current shunters with others provided with more tolerance." Percival explained.

"It won't be workable, August" Humper replied "did you forget the current shunters consume a quantity of energy at the safety limit? If we replace them with even more powerful ones, they could inhibit the whole receiver block: Ataru could become impotent!"

"_Shit_…a very inglorious end for the most lecherous man of all the universe!" Fewer commented.

"And most of all" Simons added glancing at the beautiful green-haired girl's portrait "it would be a price _she _didn't deserve to pay…!"

After several seconds of pause, A1 spoke again: "Jerry…you said, a few moments ago, that all the ASDs will collapse very soon."

"Without any doubt, commander. You can easily understand it from the circuit diagram" the head of the Sensitive explained unrolling a large paper sheet on the Coordinator's desk. "As you can see, the ASDs are all connected in parallel_(1)_; every time one of them ceases working, the handled load is shared on the survivor shunters, weighing each of them with an even bigger load than before! This, obviously, increases progressively the saturation degree bore and reduces even more the residual operativeness time: this means that, more SISAS's will collapse, sooner they'll be followed by the other devices…"

"…in an unstoppable chain reaction, faster and faster!" Brad Fewer finished the explanation for him.

The Coordinator watched darkly now the shunters diagram, now his subordinates' faces: "Probably it's a stupid question" he admitted "but what will happen when all those devilish devices will be blasted…?

The other four exchanged the umpteenth glance, then Simons put on a crestfallen smile: "You can deduce it quite easily, commander…!"

"Don't worry about what I can or I can't deduce, Simons: I demand an answer in no uncertain terms!!"

"It will happen what it would have happened, from the beginning, if we didn't install them" the head of the Neuro sighed "Miss Lum will only have to smile, to screw him completely…!"

That very simple answer was followed by a deathly silence.

"When will all this happen?" Wellington asked, few moments later.

The head of the Sensitive pulled out from his pocket a small slide ruler and began to do silently his calculations. It would be useless trying to describe the tension that weighed on his watchers. Finally, plainly and icily, Humper answered: "Four days, four hours, four minutes and four seconds!_(2)_"

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_NOTES:_

_1) __If they had been connect in series, the collapse of the first device would have produced the instant interruption of the circuit and Moroboshi became immediately impotent!_

_2) It seems number four is fundamental in Ataru Moroboshi's existence! _


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: "Transforming this libertine in a perfect monogamist!"

* * *

Hugh Simons was silently observing the Immunitary staff all busy in the delicate "encaging" operation of the SISAS devices that were still working; in practice each machine was been surrounded by an high-resistance protective net to avoid that, once collapsed, it hurtles down to the ground just as the first did.

"Well, at least this should avoid for them to fall on someone's head!" Dick Hoffman, responsible of the Immunitary section, commented standing near his colleague of the Neurologic.

The other turned and smiled: "I always admired your unwavering optimism. You know that, Dick?"

"And how could I not have it?" the other replied snickering "Since the day of its birth, this organism went through everything: beatings, electroshocks, various tortures…but it's still alive and always in good health!"

"I suppose the merit is most yours than mine. While you've managed to save his bacon in spite of everything (and _every girl_), I haven't been able to make a considerate guy out of him. For this reason I must be grateful to you for not having a grouch against me: I would have spared you a lot of work!"

"Nonsense, my friend, nonsense! Ataru Moroboshi's nature is not that different than the one of many of his contemporaries, healthy and exuberant. He's just a bit more extremist…but he'll eventually calm down with time!"

"Yeah, _time_…that's something we have no more, my lad: four days from now we won't be able to control his instincts, even toward Miss Lum. And then what?"

"Maybe it'll be a good thing, who tells you it won't? Maybe, after a C_(1)_, both of them will see things from a different perspective…maybe, _becoming a man_, he even will be able to finally behave as such!"

"I'd wish the boss had your confidence too" Simons replied shaking his head "Don't you know what he has told us, a bit ago?"

"No, what did he tell you…?

* * *

"Only four days, uh?" A1 had answered after another long pause "That really isn't a very big leeway to find a solution. However…Simons!"

"On your commands, sir!"

"What's the degree reached by the Relational Coefficient?"_(2)_

"1356 at 12'o clock of this morning, sir. Although, the value is still in the _cohabitation_ zone and it is 144 short of the amount it needs to reach the _couple_ zone."

"And that means…?" Wellington still insisted, visibly annoyed.

Brad Fewer let out a disapproving puff. Why those blockheads of his colleagues couldn't get into the habit of express themselves in profane terms, at least in critical moments? Their embarrassment with talking clear was always palpable!

"That means Ataru already accepted long ago the fact Miss Lum lives with him, but he doesn't accept her as his wife yet. The R.C. has made continuous progresses, recently, but…"

"…but" Fewer interjected to facilitate a quick arrival to the heart of the matter, avoiding so an other explosion from Wellington "I believe it should be considered that the increment rate of the R.C. won't be able to reach the _couple _zone before the hormonal storm rages out after the collapse of the SISAS's. Right, Simons?"

"Affirmative!"

"Very well" the Coordinator exclaimed with a strange tone of voice, at the halfway between a meek and a mocking one "Given the situation, my dear friends, I believe there's just one solution…"

"Obvious: of course it can't be anything else than the escape. A definitive one, this time!!"

Everyone's glances were pointed toward the colleague who had spoke up, while Wellington smiled at him threateningly: "Percival, I didn't ask for your opinion!"

"Sir…excuse my impudence, please, but you must listen to me: when the last ASD will cease working, Ataru Moroboshi will rush at Lum…and I won't be able to stop him! It will be a full intercourse. And when the counterpart will reach the orgasm…

"…there's a massive electric jolt that will destroy all of us" Humper concluded, smiling "granting that you're right!"

"So, in your opinion, would it worth the risk?!"

"August, I remind you that your colleague, Miss Lum's genetic responsible, already gave you the safest guarantees, on this matter."

"And I remain to be convinced by them, Jerry: what can work for humans of Uru, could not work for the ones from Earth!"

"Enough, Percival! Point one: if the Genetic of the counterpart assures me, just as they already did, that the danger is without foundation and I'm able to afford the guarantee of the Immunitary, it's not up to you to veto the intercourse. Point two: the escape idea is rejected, because it would be just a wishful illusion thinking to escape from a woman who can travel even in hyperspace: we already tried too many times. Point three: I'd wish to finish what I was saying, if you don't mind…!"

After having swallowed, Percival fell quiet and nodded his head.

"So" A1 resumed speaking addressing all the presents again "the solution, as I was saying, cannot be anything else than this: _transforming this damned libertine in a perfect monogamist_!"

Those peremptory words, were obviously followed by a general stunned silence.

The astonishment of Percival, Humper and Simons contrasted with Fewer's smirking grimace.

"Do…do you mind repeat, sir…?" Simons finally stammered out.

"I believe I've made myself pretty clear! Oh…naturally you'll have to succeed before those devices go completely out of service!"

Anticipating the others' protestations, the communicative terminal on the Coordinator's desk spoke: "_Emergency message for the head of the Immunitary section: another ASD collapsed in the passage 22. Two light wounded among the Sensitive's staff. It's requested the immediate presence of Mr. Hoffman and Mr. Humper. I'll repeat…_"

"You can go, gentlemen" the Head coldly commented "I await a report on the situation within 24 hours!"

Shuddering under his glacial stare, the others couldn't do anything else than leaving the office.

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1) See note 1 at the introduction._

_2) Parameter that certifies the quality of the interpersonal relationship with the interested subject._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: "To apply an inverse process!"

* * *

A few hours later, the four main "crackers" of the tough nut were gathered into Jerry Humper's laboratory, who sat on his seat in front of an impressive mound of bumfs full of algebraic calculations, chemical formulas and other even less comprehensible signs.

A cup of coffee smoked near him and his forehead, rested on his right hand that held a pencil end, shone for the sweat; nevertheless his face didn't show any emotion, obvious sign that the responsible of the Sensitive section (from which Ataru's sight, hearing, speech, touch and smell depended) was pouring all his energies into the mental approach to the problem.

It wasn't the case of his colleague Percival (head of the Genetic), busy with walking back and forth with signs of the purest anguish printed on his face; more and more often he pulled an handkerchief out of his lab coat's pocket and dried his forehead, a lot wetter than Humper's.

In the same while Hugh Simons (head of the Neuro) sat on the opposite side of Humper's table, with both of his hands in front of his mouth and staring downwards; he was doubtlessly thinking deeply, even if it couldn't be told surely if his thoughts were of practical nature as the ones of the colleague of the Sensitive.

Lastly, to cap it all, Brad Fewer (head of the Cerebral) was leaned against the front wall with his arms crossed and was watching with a skeptical expression now one now the other of his colleagues.

At one point, now that Percival unintentionally sideswiped him for the third or fourth time, Humper snorted loudly and addressed him: "Honestly, Gus: if you stopped to exhibit in the St. Vito's dance, maybe I could manage to concentrate a bit better on disentangling this damned skein, don't you think?"

The colleague stopped: "_To disentangle the skein_...?!" he sarcastically answered "Please, Jerry! Don't you understand you're trying to solve an impossible problem?! Do you know who you remind me? Those Middle Ages alchemists who tried to obtain gold from iron or lead. You're pathetic…!"

Not disturbed at all by this judgment, the colleague just shrugged: "All the problems, abstruse as they could be, have got their own good solution. It's just a matter of searching it patiently."

"Jerry's right, Gus" Hugh Simons interjected "after all, when they ordered us to find a remedy to Lum's attraction toward Ataru, he himself solved the problem in a week!"

"Yeah, _in a week_" Percival contested "not in _four days_" he watched his wrist-chronograph "nay, for being exact: three days, sixteen ours and thirty two minutes from this instant!" his tone of voice was becoming shriller and shriller.

Simons showed his palms: "Okay, the situation is surely more critical, this time" he conceded "but, all in all, Jerry's a bioengineering genius: I'm sure he'll solve the problem."

For his part, Brad Fewer roused and moved aside from the wall, shoving his hands in his lab coat's pockets: "Well, it's not my way to make defeatism and discouraging such willing colleagues" he said "but I think this time the matter's a lot more complex: at the time , it had been a matter to remove only one woman from the excessive attraction Moroboshi feels toward the whole gentle sex… now instead is a matter to channel this attraction toward a single female subject!"

At these words Percival and Simons fell silent, while Humper reacted differently. While listening to his colleague he stopped scribbling on the paper, dropped the pencil and placed his palms on the table…then, suddenly, he slammed his fists on the same table, exclaiming: "EXACTLY…!!!"

The other three stared bewilderedly at him and Fewer reprimanded him ironically: "What's come over you, Jerry…? Did you get the cosmic inspiration?"

The head of the Sensitive turned on himself with his swivel chair and looked at his colleagues' faces. Simons and Percival were expecting to see a resentful expression on him after Fewer's sarcastic sentence, instead his face was radiant: "The inspiration that you've given to me right now, Brad. You've been great!"

The other peeked at his two colleagues and replied: "Really? I'm flattered. But what you mean?"

"I mean you hit the nail on the head, pal! In fact the problem to solve it isn't so different than the one I had to face at the begin of all this story…it's just reciprocal!"

"_reciprocal_?" Simons asked.

"That's right! What do we have to do, after all? To transform Ataru's polygamy in monogamy. And to arrange for this monogamy to be directed toward Miss Lum… in other words, we need to apply an inverse process than the one realized with the SISAS's!"

The ironic light in Brad Fewer's eyes was rapidly fading, while his right hand, put to his mouth, manifested his new meditative attitude: "Explain yourself better…!" he finally exhorted him.

"That's clear, Brad: the ASDs - or SISAS's if you prefer – had simply _excluded_ a single person - that's Lum - from Ataru's interest toward the female sex. What we must do now is instead to concentrate _all_ Ataru's interest toward a single exponent of that same sex: that's to say Lum!" the head of the Sensitive emphasized his thesis pounding a fist into his palm.

Hugh Simons, after having listened to him with his mouths wide open, exclaimed: "I got it: if Ataru's attraction to the opposite sex will manifest solely toward Miss Lum, Ataru finally becomes monogamist!"

"Well, Jerry" Fewer added in his turn "after all Hugh said right: you're a genius…at least a theoretical one."

"Why just theoretical?" Simons inquired.

Fewer raised his hand with diplomatic attitude: "He'll be a _practical_ genius when he finds out _how _to do that. In fact, I don't think the solution would be simply inverting the working of the SISAS's…!"

"Of course, not" Humper answered, smiling "Those damned devices can be solely calibrated on only one frequency of cerebral waves: they couldn't exclude the sexual impulses of _all _the women but Lum!"

The head of the Neurologic, who had nearly unlimited trust in his colleague, contested: "Ah, who cares? I've got no doubt: in a way or another, you'll make it!"

Like an iced shower came instead the opposite opinion of August Percival: "You won't, Jerry. It can't work…it's impossible!"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: "Will it work...?"

* * *

Jerry Humper, who was about to bury himself again in his thoughts, lifted his head: "Well, I don't demand to inspire you unlimited trust, Gus…but come on: try to be a bit more optimist!"

"That's not a matter of optimism…and do not misread me, Jerry" the head of the Genetic replied, shaking his head "I'm well aware of your worth and, if you do remember, I've confirmed it at the Coordinator too. But you know well what is Ataru's problem…where his uncontrollable lust comes from: the PGT is practically absent!_(1)_ The call of the woman (any woman who just breaths) is too strong, in him, for you to manage controlling it!"

"That's true, unfortunately" the head of the Neuro commented "and that's also the reason because the story with Miss Myake turned out bad, the only girl for whom Moroboshi felt sincere love…" he stopped for a moment and concluded "…aside Lum!"

The four technicians fell silent and, a few moments later, the good Humper went back to trace out his arcane formulas on the paper, while Percival started again to pace around in the room. In practice the picture threatened to return how it was at the beginning, when Fewer (got back to lean on the wall with crossed arms), stopped brooding over and threw out this sentence: "Hey…what if we try to put that PGT he lacks in him ourselves?"

August Percival burst out laughing: "What the heck are saying, Brad? We can't _produce _PGT: that comes from the mother!"

"Yeah…and from Mrs. Moroboshi it didn't come any. It'd be hilarious, thinking about she wanted to give birth to a female, instead of a male!" Hugh Simons reminded bitterly.

"Okay, what nonsense" Fewer replied "I mean that we could administer it to him from the outside."

"From the _outside_?! And where do we find it?" Percival, a little naively (given his role), asked.

"Well, at the pharmacy, right?" the head of the Cerebral answered "there are those estrogens-based pharmaceuticals…"

"ARE YOU NUTS…??!!" Hugh Simons screamed, beside himself "don't you think about the psychological consequences?? Are you joking? The most lecherous man of all the universe who goes at the pharmacy to buy female hormones…!?!"

"Okay, so just find a solution by yourself, phenomenon" Fewer replied pointing his chronograph "but I'll inform you there are only three days, fifteen hours and fifty two minutes… from this instant!"

"Calm down, you two" Humper chimed in "it's useless to get all worked up. Besides, Brad, the matter's not so easy!"

"What do you mean?"

"An artificial PGT is useless…of course, with that a part of the problem would be fixed, (the reduction of Ataru's lust) but surely we wouldn't concentrate all his interest about women toward Lum!"

"Why?" Percival inquired.

"Because, to obtain that, it's necessary for me to realize a catalyzer based on an _exclusive _component of the interested subject. The PGT can work…but it must be _her _PGT, not a casual one!"

"_Hers_…?? You mean…Lum's progesterone??!! Simons anxiously asked.

The head of the Sensitive nodded without hesitation: "Affirmative. And it'll have to be quite concentrated too!"

"But…where the hell do we get Lum's progesterone?" Fewer asked "and how…Percival, what's up with you…?!" while speaking, the gaze oft the head of the Cerebral shifted on the colleague of the Genetic, who was back to dry the sweat of his forehead and neck, now a lot more copious than before.

"August" Simons addressed him too "are you ok?"

Percival stopped drying himself and looked at him with an astonished expression. Then he passed his hand a couple of times over his mouth and began to answer with cracked voice: "_Where _do we get it, uh? Quite _concentrated_, uh?" he slammed his fist against the wall "HOLY DAMN SHIT…!!!"

Humper, even if worried for the colleague, had a kind of flash of inspiration:

"Hey, Gus" he gently called him "Did you actually get some idea…?"

August Percival, responsible of the Genetic section (also called _Reproductive_) of the most lecherous man of all the universe (title that contrasted with the fact that the mentioned section wasn't been utilized yet) would have given everything in that moment to avoid being forced - him, of all the people - to offer the key for the solution of the problem! However it was his duty doing it. Therefore he lifted his head again toward the head of the Sensitive and spoke: "Jerry…there's an organic substance, into the female…where the PGT is mostly concentrated…than the rest of the body. It's also a…non-harmful substance for the male organism that has to take it…and it's…relatively easy to take too!"

He stopped. The colleagues waited keeping eyes and - especially - ears open wide…then, since his silence persisted, Brad Fewer solicited him: "Come on ,Gus: do not keep us guessing! What is it…?"

Percival looked at him and looked at Humper. Who had maybe already understood and was waiting for just a confirm.

"It's…it's the…the…the VLF_(2)_…!!!"

At that answer, Brad Fewer lifted his eyes toward the sky while coming back to cross his arms, while Hugh Simons covered his mouth with his hands, goggling his eyes. Jerry Humper, the main technical solver of the problem, reacted in a completely different manner: he turned his back to his colleagues again, grabbed a sheet of paper and said: "Gus, give me immediately the chemical formula of the VLF!"

Now conscious of sliding down an inexorable slope, Percival dictated it to him with dull voice. Soon after, the head of the Sensitive buried himself again in his scientific calculations, while the others observed him, incredulous…really the answer was so _obvious_? Really the circle had to be closed in that way? And especially, really the event they had desperately tried to avoid for four good years represented, after all, the solution of all their problems?

Finally, after having filled almost an half-dozen of sheets, Jerry arrested examining the result of a massively complicate (for everyone except him) mathematical calculation.

"Sure…definitive…indisputable…!" he murmured with a not enough low voice to not to be heard.

Brad Fewer asked him just one question: "Will it work…?"

Humper turned again and answered: "At 100%...at least theoretically!"

The head of the Cerebral shoved his hands in his pockets again and turned toward the responsible of the organic sections destined "in primis" to handle the interpersonal relationships of the individual with "the second half of the sky": the Neurologic and the Genetic.

"You heard, gents? Cerebral and Sensitive did their part…it's your go now!"

With a loud thud, the two fell to the ground, unconscious.

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1) Into the man, a moderate presence of female hormones (progesterone or PGT) dulls opportunely the virility; on the other hand, into the woman, a moderate presence of male hormones (testosterone or TST) dulls, as much opportunely, the femininity._

_2) Vaginal Lubricant Fluid._


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: "Will you get down to brass tacks or not?"

* * *

Part of the Ataru Moroboshi's Organic Council was convening in the small room reserved for emergency meetings adjacent to Chris Wellington's office. Jerry Humper was already on his seat, busy in having a browse through his report; near him sat Hugh Simons and Gus Percival, the latter occupied in staring anxiously at the seat at the head of the table where, soon, A1 would have sat. Simons, for his part, didn't take his eyes off the chronometer's panel that was beating the fatal _count down_: in that moment there were only two days, twenty two hours and thirty six minutes to go before the last ASD went out of order…after that, the forced inhibition of the organism that they kept would have gone down the tubes at the mere sight of the _Oni princess_!

Suddenly Humper raised his eyes from his notes and gave a quick view to all the participants: "We're all here, except the boss?" he inquired.

"No" Fewer answered "Meals is missing."

"Meals…?" Simons replied "why he's coming? What he has to do with this…?"

"He has, he has" Humper sighed gathering his sheets for the nth time "of course he has!"

"I don't understand!" the head of the Neuro insisted.

"You will…!" Percival answered with atonic voice and his chin between his fists.

In that moment the entry opened and the just named colleague appeared, or rather Larry Meals, nicknamed _Sweeper_, head of the Metabolic Section. He was maybe the member of the Council who took more seriously his role inside that organism, enough to mint a motto that stood out wrote even upon a wall of his office: _It doesn't exist anything that can't be digested._

"Good morning you gentlemen!" he greeted.

"Hi, Sweeper" Fewer said "you're looking in good trim."

"If you say so! I've been busy 'til now treating that quadruple helping of sukiyaki that moron gorged down at supersonic speed…I sweated blood to avoid for him to get a colic. How I wish he cut those idiotic speed competitions off…!"

"Don't worry: soon you'll have to assimilate something a lot more digestible!" Humper told him.

"That remains to be seen…!" Percival objected.

"I don't understand what you're talking about" Meals replied "and, especially, I wouldn't mind for you to explain me the reason because I've been called for this reunion too!"

"Don't tell me, dear Sweeper, that the events of the last days kept you totally in the dark about." Simons commented.

"Well…in fact not completely: I heard that the ASDs are burning out one after the other…that it is supposed to be the moment to put an anchor to the relationship between Ataru and Lum…but what the Metabolic has to do with all this?"

"Come on, sit down" Humper gestured for him "soon A1 will be here and you find out."

"I just hope" the other said in a mutter, while settling down "that Mr. Moroboshi will no more be forced to gulp down any other deathly hyper-spicy nugget, cooked by his would-be consort… otherwise I won't be responsible for the collateral effects any longer…!"

"He'll have to gulp down quite a different thing" Percival interjected, even mournfully "and we are the ones who'll have collateral effects, on our conscience, not you. As for the matter of the spicy…well, for all I know, it should be sweet…at least in Earth girls: in oni girls, I don't know!"

"What's that supposed to mean? Stop talking in riddles or I…" feeling his arm being lightly tightened by Brad Fewer, the head of the Metabolic shut, realizing that Chris Wellington was entering right in that moment. Immediately all the presents stood up from their chairs.

"Sit down, sit down…!" A1 said reaching his seat. After having settled down in his armchair, he gave a quick glance to the counter (that was now reading two days, twenty one hours and fifty four minutes), then he turned again toward his subordinates, resting his elbows on the top of the table and joining his hands.

"So, gentlemen" he began, with a tone of voice that caused the veins of everyone's wrists to tremble "given the call I got from Mr. Fewer a few ago, it'd seem you've found a solution to our problems…and with two good days ahead of the Big Bang! I'm very pleased about it" he looked for an instant at all the presents and added "well, Mr. Humper: you look anxious to state me your report…please begin!"

The head of the Sensitive stood up again, he exchanged a rapid glance with his colleagues near him and stated his report with a voice as calm as possible, articulating accurately each word: "Well, sir…to manage to convert the polygamy of our assisted in monogamy, we started from the roots of the problem. As you well know - and as I explained you before projecting the SISAS's - the morbid interest about women - _all_ the women - felt by this organism, stems from the nearly total absence of PGT…because the genetic colleagues of Mrs. Moroboshi weren't able to furnish it, during her gestation period."

"They _didn't want_ to furnish it" Percival chimed in " 'cause _this_ is the truth!"

"Actually, August, we aren't really sure of that. Although…"

"Gentlemen" Wellington banged his palm on the table "let's go on, please!"

Humper flicked: "Yes sir…sorry! So…we've ascertained that the most effective way to make of Ataru Moroboshi a monogamist…is in fact to exploit his very high perception of the female call… concentrating it, obviously, on Miss Lum!"

A1 stared at him with a sharp expression: "Interesting…and would you be able to succeed, Humper?"

The other caught his breath and answered: "Theoretically, yes…with the fine-tuning of a sensitive catalyzer, based on a peculiar essence of the interested subject."

"Mmh…I see. And…how do you think to fight Ataru's morbid lust, caused by the lack of PGT?"

"Well, sir…that was the _real _problem…but, paradoxically, it turned out to be also the key of its solution."

Brad Fewer started getting nervous, noticing in his colleague the usual damned habit of periphrasis and, observing furtively Wellington, he thought: *He's gonna explode!*

The Coordinator instead, keeping his expression severe, replied with calm, even if slightly ironic, voice: "I'm sure you can't wait to explain it to me, dear Jerry!" then he mentally added, but letting his eyes to do the talking: *And you better hurry up…!*

"Of course, sir. You see…the only way to reduce Ataru's lust within, I'm not saying reasonable, but surely handling limits…would be to nullify the lack of PGT through an _external_ consumption of that very hormonal element. Although…once immediately discarded the hypothesis of resorting to artificial chemical substances (given the unavoidable psychological implications mentioned by the Neuro)…we've agreed that the PGT that suits our purpose the most…would be Miss Lum's…natural one."

Larry Meals started to feel a strange tingling all over his body, although without being able to explain it yet.

"That element" Humper continued after having taken another breath of air "in addition to restore the right balance between TST and PGT, that was denied to our organism from its birth,…" he stopped to swallow "…would represent at the same time the best core substance to create the catalyzer necessary to induce Mr. Moroboshi toward a stable - and especially _monogamist_ - relationship with his aspirant wife."

Said that, Jerry Humper sat again, laying his notes on the table and, after having wiped his sweaty forehead, turned again toward A1.

The latter weighed him up for a few moments, then observed Fewer's nearly impassive expression, Simons' tense one and Meals'one, more and more astonished with the passing of the seconds. Then he went back looking at Humper: "You must forgive me, Jerry…I don't doubt that, under your supervision, your team did a very good job…and I'm also pretty sure that, whatever procedure you've got in mind, it'll work perfectly…"

The fact that the Coordinator too started to approach the matter in a roundabout way, as if he was now scared to reach the conclusion as well, didn't escape the head of the Cerebral…and he found this quite amusing!

"…the point is…" A1 continued "that, despite my best efforts, I absolutely cannot imagine _in which_ way you reckon to take the PGT we need! Can you help me?" although while speaking, he looked toward the head of the Genetic "Maybe I should ask you, Mr. Percival…?"

The man lifted his head showing a rout expression and muttered out: "Sir…I believe you've already understood…and I wish for you to free me from answering!"

Chris Wellington looked scathingly at him with a steel glare, straight after he showed a smile that looked worst than the most vicious scowl and replied, with an almost metallic voice: "I already said it once: it must be _absolutely_ none of your concern if I can or I cannot realize what your conclusions are. When I make questions, I demand answers: CLEAR AND EXHAUSTIVE! Got it, Mr. Percival?"

The poor director of the Genetic opened and closed his mouth two or three times, like a just fished fish. To put an end to that agony, Humper decided to intervene in his place: "I'll answer you, sir. After having considered… that only an appropriate dose of …" he took a breath "…particularly concentrated PGT…would be able to trigger the libidinal concentration process toward a single subject…" another breath "…it had just remained to identify _which_ substance, that flows out from Miss Lum's organism…" another breath "…was the most suitable for our purpose. So…"

"OH, FOR GOODNESS SAKE" the Coordinator thundered, getting fed up "WILL YOU GET DOWN TO BRASS TACKS OR NOT??!! YOU'VE PISSED ME OFF WITH ALL THESE DAMNED CIRCUMLOCUTIONS!! YOU EITHER GET IMMEDIATELY STRAIGHT TO THE POINT OR I SWEAR I'LL SHUNT YOU AT THE ESCHATOLOGICAL TEAM FOR A WHOLE MONTH…!!!"

Seeing how things were turning out, the fearless Brad Fewer rose up too and, with no more uncertain terms, blurted out the fatal verdict right in the Boss' face: "Sir… in short, it comes to screwing Miss Lum… making her come… and sucking the nectar out of her pussy!!"

The sentence of the head of the Cerebral, sounded sharp as a gun shot, was followed by a funereal silence.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: "Do you think she'll be content with a B?"

* * *

Christopher W. Wellington, _Organic Coordinator_ of the most lecherous man of all the universe, the member who devolves the last word about what concerned all the biological functions of the individual entrusted to him by the Moroboshis (once happy and quiet couple of the Tomobiki district, Nerima's prefecture), after having managed to re-enter his eyeballs into his skull's sockets, pondered silently for a few minutes, keeping his teeth rested on his right thumb and his stare fixed on the centre of the table. He stayed like that until when - to their great surprise - the heads-section gathered at that unfortunate meeting noticed his shoulders shaking and they saw him doing something that didn't happen from time immemorial (even supposing it ever happened)!

They saw him laughing… softly at first, then louder and louder, so much that he had to place his hands on the table for support. Now his laughter was booming and coarse, it even caused him to slam his fists on the table. It seemed as he couldn't stop…!

Finally he calmed down and lifted his head again, passing his hand repeatedly over his face…he turned to his subordinates with a good-natured look, he chuckled one last time and exclaimed: "Aah…I really needed something like that: a good laughter is surely the best roborant ever, no doubt! Good, good…I hope the purpose of Mr. Fewer's statement wasn't just this, though…!

"Not in the least, sir" the head of the Sensitive answered hurriedly "just like my colleague from the Genetic will confirm you and just like he himself has told us…the female organic substance that contains the greatest percentage amount of PGT is, without any doubt…" here he had to stop again and took a deep breath "…the Vaginal Lubricant Fluid."

A1 could swear that he saw him shudder as he finished his explanation; he didn't comment anyway, addressing instead the unfortunate implicated colleague:

"Well, Mr. Percival, do you confirm that…?"

To the poor guy this sounded just like the question the executioner addresses to the condemned to grant him the last wish! He pitched his chin a few times, then (noticing Wellington's stare wasn't softening) he found it advisable using the mouth too: "Yes, sir…yes, that's the way it is…!"

"So, in more simplistic terms" A1 replied "it will be sufficient to swallow a good dose of Miss Lum's passion…and the problem will be fixed?"

"Well, not immediately" Humper specified "once having some VLF at my disposal, I should be able to fine-tune a catalyzer that will concentrate, in all likelihood, all Ataru's remaining lust on Miss Lum…this, in addition to the feelings they have toward each other, should stabilize their relationship in a definitive manner."

"Wonderful" Wellington exclaimed to his great satisfaction "by the way, Mr. Simons: what about the updating of the R.C. level?"_(1)_

"It reached 1425 this morning…another 75 points and we'll be in _Couple _Zo…"

Hugh Simons felt himself being violently hit by the colleague next to him. He turned around and noticed that the head of the Metabolic section just has had a terrible start, fit of an ictus or a first-degree heart attack. He was death-pale, his pupils were microscopic and his lips formed a nearly perfect circle.

"Please, Mr. Meals: would you care for some enlightment?" the Coordinator asked him, not bothering at all to hide his ironic tone.

Larry "Sweeper" Meals emitted only a confused muttering, before managing to articulate some sensed word: "I… eh… uh… think… and especially _hope_… I've misunderstood …sir! But…if the statement of the colleague of the Cerebral isn't exactly a wisecrack…errr…my section should… well… store… and right from her… but… though… IT'S A JOKE, ISN'T IT…??!!"

"I'm surprised at you, Mr. Meals: how can you, after 17 years of service, put your colleagues' seriousness and professionalism in doubt?" A1 retorted, without any change of tone.

The head of the world's fastest Metabolic unbuttoned hurriedly his shirt collar, while turning his head to shot hushed and bewildered glances at his "companions in misfortune"… but after having noticed Brad Fewer's fatalistic gaze, Hugh Simons' gloomy one and - _in cauda venenum(2)_ _– _August Percival's doughy one, he got the ill-omened confirmation that no providential alarm would have put an end to what, alas, it wasn't a nightmare. Then, considering it a justified reaction, he let the anger rushing inside him…

Now he finally understood the reason because he has been implicated for a mere sex matter and not for some energetic issue! He could accept the first thirteen years of service spent to incur a double load of work than normal, due to that wretched _gourmet_'s voracity… he could even stand the gaff on the last four years spent on going crazy to assimilate, without lethal damages, planet Uru's deadly "specialities", forcedly stuffed down his poor esophagus by that stubborn alien… but now they were asking him to _swallow_ - and to _digest_, no less - even _a good dose of her passion_… no: that was way too much! Despite the fact Ataru Moroboshi was just a stupid horny teenager or, at best, _he solely wished to appear as such_ (Meals had never understood that and it wasn't his scope either), the Metabolic section's staff has a dignity too!

"You… you're all crazy…!!! It's… it's an ABOMINATION…! I… I understand the problem needs to be solved…BUT NOT IN THIS WAY…!! There must be another way… THERE MUST BE…!!!"

"No, Meals, there isn't" Jerry Humper replied "you keep teaching us that, aside air, all the substances the organism needs to assimilate must pass by your section: food, beverages, medicines… and also…"

"No, don't say it… DON'T SAY IT…!!! Besides, however… after all this time spent on refusing and spiting her… how about you, Simons: how do you think to manage to persuade that woman to…"

He was interrupted by a hysterical laughter. Percival, maybe shaken up by his colleague's behaviour, seemed to reawaken from his momentary apathy: "_To persuade that woman_?? To do what, Sweeper? To _fuck_ with him? That's the best one I ever heard! THAT'S JUST WHAT THAT LUSTFUL OGRESS'S WAITING FOR…!!"

Hugh Simons scolded him firmly: "Now you're going too far, Gus! I agree she shows a mild intrusive behaviour and a slightly despotic disposition, not to mention her strong jealousy… but they're superficial attitudes: behind these, Lum owns extraordinary kindness and sweetness. Her feelings toward Ataru are deep. As all the components of my staff affirm, we can't keep making her suffer like that…and you can't afford to call her _lustful ogress_!"

"Okay, Hugh…we'll talk about it again when we're burned to ashes! If I think about the shocks she delivers us during an A intercourse or even during just a hug, I can easily imagine what would happen in the case of a C: when my colleagues, inside there, will reach climax, we're gonna enjoy it: the junction joint_(3)_ will function as a lightning rod, the spinal cord conducts the charge up to here, the whole operation centre serves as ground and…_te saludi_…!"_(4)_

"Maybe a complete intercourse won't be necessary" Humper interjected, trying to calm him down "after all it's sufficient a bit of petting to induce a spillage of VLF out of the transfer interface."_(5)_

"You're basking in your hopes too, aren't you Jerry? You sure are a nice gang of naïves! Do you think that randy female will be content with a B? After four years we kept her starving? And especially, do you think that lecher will be able to resist her?!"

"Well, it's your duty to keep the organism under control, after all." The head of the sensitive insisted.

"WITH ONLY THREE ASDs STILL AT WORK? I VERY MUCH DOUBT THAT…!!!"

A sudden burst were heard, not much deadened by the assembly room's walls.

Consequently, the counter's panel, that was displaying a residual of two days, sixteen hours and fifty four minutes, immediately changed to indicate there were one day, twenty two hours and forty seven minutes to go before the _Big Bang_…!

Hugh Simons sighed: "I'm afraid you have left only two of them, from now on…!"

"Correct!" Percival pinpointed.

* * *

_NOTES__:_

_1) The "Relational Coefficient"_

_2) Latin sentence that means 'on poison's tail' to indicate the most negative factor of the series. It's the opposite sentence of the positive 'dulcis in fundo'._

_3) System complementary to the_ '_transfer interface' of the female organism (see note 5)._

_4) Italian dialect expression that means 'goodbye…!'. It seems August Percival studied biology at Milan__o's Bocconi!_

_5)_ _System complementary to the_ '_junction joint' of the male organism (see note 3)._


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: "How would he feel, if he didn't score…?"

* * *

Chris Wellington looked at Gus Percival with a decidedly bored expression…that, on his face, looked more threatening than a raging one.

Then he said: "Okay, Percival…that's enough! Over the last four years, every time that inside here someone hinted at possible sexual intercourses with Miss Lum, you've always came out with this story…that, however, carried lesser and lesser conviction to me each time…" the other opened his mouth to protest but the finger A1 placed on his own lips sternly admonished Percival to let him continue "… not only due to the report the Genetic of our gentle consort sent me…_(1)_ but especially due to a quite illuminating consideration, that Mr. Fewer shared with me time ago…"

The head of the Genetic eyed his colleague of the Cerebral with a not so friendly glare and Fewer couldn't do anything else than clasping his hands together and lowering his eyes.

"…in fact" A1 inexorably continued "when I asked him if there were reassurances about your, in some respects, reasonable doubt (if effectively the orgasmic jolt's inhibition works only between members of the Oni race) he told me it could be useful to us, in this regard, a certain yellow ribbon that respectable monk delivered to Ataru, allowing him to neutralize the powers of his vivacious wifey. You remember that, don't you, Mr. Percival?"_(2)_

The latter turned corpse-like pale, then he slowly lifted his right hand, pointing his finger straight at the colleague of the Cerebral and hissed: "You…YOU GODDAMNED IDIOT…!!! Why…? WILL YOU TELL ME WHY…??!!"

Brad Fewer took a deep breath: "The boss did me a question" he started telling him "and I gave him the answer. I just told him the truth" his eyes, pointed into the other's ones, weren't showing the slightest guilt. He sighed again and continued "listen, Gus… being organic responsible of an individual as Ataru Moroboshi has never been easy for anyone of us… a son not completely accepted by his parents 'cause born male instead of female and not endowed, in addiction, with an excessively abundant intelligence…"

Hugh Simons, head of the Neuro, continued: "…but with a great inner generosity and a large need of love. That maternal love his parent has never been able to completely give him and that, all over these 17 years, he desperately sought in many women, hiding it, because too proud, behind what seemed just a simple, even if uncontrolled, lechery!"

"We shouldn't forget either that this boy, to avoid for his planet to suffer the fate of Uru's dominion, seriously risked to undermine his own health, bleeding himself dry almost until collapse to tag his opponent…" Dick Hoffman, head of the Immunitary, added, called at the meeting to help with eventual medical matters.

"…and _no one _never even told him _thank you_ for that successful deed" Simons chimed in again "instead, he had been hated and despised by everyone: envied by men because Lum's fiancée and loathed by women because they felt humiliated due to his preference for an alien girl. Just one person - _only one_ - discovered Ataru's true soul… that stoic and disinterested soul he suffocates with pragmatism and egocentrism to react against continuous frustrations!"

It was Humper's turn, for the Sensitive: "Unfortunately we did the error of not understanding how this person really felt about him… therefore, mistaking it for a mere desire for possession, we built those devices to keep him away from her. Luckily, as the evil always destroys itself, the SISAS's are rapidly neutralizing, now that they've exhausted their task."

"Exactly" Fewer concluded for the Cerebral "because now it's up to us, the Ataru's organic responsible (together with our colleagues of Lum) to help these two soul mates, born on two so far planets to reunite for all eternity."_(3)_

"And what better way, to cement this interplanetary union, than a reciprocal giving of their physical intimacy? Not to mention" Simons replied "this will allow us to put ,once for all, a stop to his deplorable lecher behaviour!"

Percival did a last attempt: "But… surely that ribbon doesn't exist anymore. And Cherry will be too afraid of Lum's reaction to dare to make another one…!"

Simons smiled: "That ribbon still exists, Gus: Lum has never destroyed it, she jealously guarded it… because her Genetic had a doubt similar to yours and she would _never_ risk her Darling's life, let alone to make love with him! As you can see, there are no more obstacles. Sure, I'm aware that, after the way Ataru behaved 'til now, he'll feel a considerable amount of embarrass… it'll be hard, of course! But if everybody does its part, everything's gonna be alright."

"That's true, Gus" Fewer spoke again "we are all willing to help him… help him you too!"

The head of the Genetic kept his stare low. He had nothing more to retort: his "game" was discovered! At least the Organic Council wasn't acting like a criminal court for him and this maybe due to the fact that everyone - Coordinator included - was well aware of how much Percival's fears were shared out evenly inside there!

However, when their workmate finished his reflections, the others saw him shaking his head: "No… you don't understand! I lied, okay…and I'm ready to receive the sanctions I deserve. It's true: the danger of the orgasmic jolt was _also _an excuse! But I used it after due consideration… because he doesn't consider Lum as his woman, he considers her as his goddess: that buffoon Megane's idolatry is a trifle, in comparison! Just because in her - in her beauty, in her eyes, in her essence - Ataru finds what no other woman - nor his mother, nor Shinobu, nor Elle_(4)_ - is able to give him and that they never will neither! This is the reason because he never had the courage to physically giving himself to her, almost as he's afraid to sully her… not to mention the fact he could never bear not being able to satisfy her as she deserves…!

The others were speechless. They expected far different words than the ones their "unmasked" colleague was pronouncing… not an act of contrition, of course, but surely a discrete sense of guilt, presumably followed by a renewed purpose of redemption. They all were bewildered, even if one of them was a bit less surprised than the others… the latter was addressed by Percival, that continued his speech: "What would happen if he failed during the act? You're directing the Neuro, Simons… tell me: how would he feel, if he didn't score? Did you think about it…?"

The responsible of the Emotional section (also known as the Neuro) frowned, once becoming aware his colleague wasn't talking for himself anymore, but in the stead of the boy they all made living.

"You see, Hugh" Percival went on " not only his male pride would be destroyed… not only he'd become - _truly and definitely_ - the laughing stock of everybody… but he also would be seized by a sense of guilt that will never leave him. And it's not excluded he could commit a big nonsense too!"

He stopped for an instant allowing his colleagues to weigh up what he said so far and then concluded: "I'll do as you wish, gents… I'll prepare my section for the C condition, if you order me to do that. If it must be physical union, be it so. But you think about it… think carefully, before exposing that poor boy to such a risk!"

Once done talking he stood up, turned his back to them and headed toward the exit, he passed it and left that room.

Brad Fewer emitted a puff that lasted for at least half a minute, then commented, turned toward Wellington: "It seems you can't stop knowing your own kind… isn't it, sir?"

"You're very right, Brad…!" he answered, absolutely convinced of his words.

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1) Where it was declared that, during an orgasm caused by an intercourse, the jolts wouldn't be sent, not to put in_ _conflict the reproduction of the Oni race with the safety of the couple._

_2) Cfr. With__ the 16th chapter of the manga __**Tie a Yellow Ribbon **__or__with the 7th episode of the anime __**Electric Shocks Scare Me**__. _

_3) On the base of the __information I (Andy Grim) found on a web-site dedicated to the __**Urusei yatsura**__ saga, the distance that separates our Sun from the triple star __**Tau Ceti**__ (of the __**Unicorn**__'s Constellation) to which system the Uru planet (also called __**Demon star**__) belongs , amounts to 11,7 Light Years, matching with 110.691 billions and 360 millions of Kilometres! _

_4) __Queen of the homonymous planet, Ataru proposed to her (a little bit in an extorting way, for being honest) when they were six years old (cfr. with the full-length film __**Only you**__)._


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: "Each section's got its trouble!"

* * *

Once left the Operation Centre, August Percival, mounted on the first transport cell unit available and, after a descent of about 50 cm_(1)_, he was in front of the alarmed entrance of the Genetic section, upon which stood out Athor's icon, the Egyptian god of fertility. Once passed it, after the necessary identification, he went directly to his office.

"Welcome back, boss. Is everything all right up there?" one of his assistants asked him.

The grimace he received as answer, accompanied by a desolate hand gesture, did not bode well. Poor Percival, without uttering a word, reached his desk and slumped into his armchair, resting his forehead on his left palm. He stayed like that for at least five minutes and roused when he heard something being placed on the writing plane, that turned out being a cup of smoking tea… he lifted his head and saw the smiling face of his collaborator.

Smiling back at him, he took the cup and contemplated it for an instant: "Thanks, dear Pitt… but I don't think our troubles will be solved with a simple cup of tea!"

"It won't kill you, sir" the other answered and asked "but… if I can ask… has it been so bad?"

"So-so! More than anything else, dear Pitt, I fear that the time of our truce is up now!"

"What do you mean…?"

"I mean we must get ready to the final _match _against the champion of planet Uru… but this time the main trouble won't be faced by Burt Racer's team: this time it's up to us!"_(2)_

"This means that…" the subordinate turned pale.

"Affirmative, Pitt: the time of the intergalactic _grapple_ with Miss Lum is coming!"

"Oh, good heavens…! Are you sure, boss?"

"Pretty sure" Gus murmured rubbing his face "this time there is nothing we can do. We can no more clutch at the uncertainty of the orgasmic jolt either: Fewer, that bastard remembered the existence of the yellow ribbon to A1."

"Now I understand your mood, Mr. Percival… it's going to be a hard challenge!"

"And you still don't know the worst part, dear Pitt…"

"I really can't think of anything that could be worse - from an uncertain point of view, obviously - than a full intercourse with that explosive creature, sir…!"

"I'll tell you then" the superior answered turning and looking at him straight in the face "an oral intercourse, for example!"

Poor Pitt goggled his eyes and covered his mouth with his hands. Percival had no doubts: there was terror on his subordinate's face… pure terror. He stood up, grabbed the other's shoulders that were trembling like leafs and shook him, telling him: "Hey, hey… come on, boy! Pull yourself together: it's okay, it's okay!"

It needed several seconds for the other to recover, stammering: "I… I'm sorry, sir… I don't know what came over me" in truth he knew it very well "Ple… please, don't mind me… I… I'll get over it!"

His boss sighed: "Don't worry about it… and especially don't feel guilty, Pitt: I'm the only one who should feel like that, so don't worry."

"But…why are you saying this, sir? You've always been an excellent guide to all of us!"

"Don't make me laugh…! First off, I've never believed that we would have come down to the point of being forced to consummate a sexual intercourse with that blessed ogress myself.

I counted on Humper's SISAS's so much, that I never took seriously in consideration that such an event could be actually concretize, with all its ins and outs. So I have never psychologically prepared you for that."

"And… you think the other sections of the organism are more prepared than us?"

"No way! No matter what those braggarts of Humper and Fewer say… and even Simons, what a fool! We just needed the SISAS's to resist Lum's sensual charm, but the Neuro, to slow down as much as possible her R.C. raising firstly toward the _affection_ range and then toward the _love_ one, had make him acting like a total asshole! And now Hugh's convinced a few sweet words will be enough for Lum to forget everything and to open her heart to him… and her legs too, naturally!" said this, he took the still full cup of tea and quickly emptied it, anxiously watched by his subordinate "However, these are their problems. Each section's got its trouble… and it'll be better if we face our own one immediately, before of receiving the 'all green' from the Operation Centre!"

"How much time do we have, to arrange things?"

"We have scarcely forty hours before the TST goes berserk at the mere sight of the _Goddess of Ogres_, so we mustn't waste a minute. Is the staff at full complement?"

"They have been alerted right before the reunion, sir: they're all present and ready."

"Very well. In order of priority: I want a complete check-up of all the apparatuses, especially the erective circuit."

"Yes sir!"

" Give also a good tight to the bolts of the inhibitor brakes: we must minimize - as much as possible - the risk of a premature ejaculation…!"

"Well! Pitt answered, sweat already beading on his forehead.

"Then do a finicking control of the DNA… _finicking_, got it? I want the spermatozoon's chromosomes to be _perfect_. If it comes to fecundation, remember that it's always the mother the one who risks, especially an alien mother."_(3)_

"Don't worry. But… don't you think Moroboshi will take precautions, at least for now?"

"Whatever they'll decide up there, we must anticipate all the eventualities. Even supposing they will be able to decide anything…!"

"I don't understand, sir!"

"Pitt, don't cherish fond hopes: we aren't the ones who will control the battle of the sheets. In one way or another, Lum's ones _(4) _consider themselves too in the black with us, to let us being behind the wheel!"

"I see, boss… they're gonna give us a good drubbing! I get shivers again just at the mere thought!"

"Don't think about it, then: just do your job. Go, now, go!"

"Orders!" the subordinate clicked his heels, bowed and left to give the opportune directives.

"Now alone, August Percival contemplated the bottom of the just-emptied cup, buzzing the last drops. He then observed for a few moments the posters hung on the wall in front of him, portraying some of the most beautiful women of the planet, both alive and deceased: Marylin Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, Gina Lollobrigida, Sophia Loren, Grace Kelly, Brigitte Bardot, Virna Lisi, Cindy Crawford, Valeria Marini and many others…

Then he rested his chin on his arms on the writing plane and murmured: "Damn it all… when everything ends, we'll feel like the crew of the _Apollo 11_ or the one of the _Apollo 13_ down here. Armstrong, Lowell… pray for us!"_(5)_

_

* * *

_

About 20 cm above Percival's office, poor Larry Meals - also called Sweeper - director of the Metabolic section, was trying to ingest the shock. Lying on his cot, he tried to remember the episodes of Ataru Moroboshi's life that had put his staff in crisis the most…

The gastronomic duel with Rei, Lum's ex-fiancé: fifty seven sweet potatoes ingurgitated in just twenty minutes!

The first time that the aspirant Mrs. Moroboshi forced her hubby to gulp down her "speciality": sixteen super-duper-extra-mega-spicy nuggets that caused a sharp burn at his poor stomach, lasted unceasingly for three days!

Then - just to keep the mood down - the most recent memory: the antidote to Ataru's lycanthropic transformation, caused by the consumption of sweet dumplings they romantically ate by moonlight: it was so bitter that horseradish would be tasted like chocolate in comparison.

No… all the other colleagues of the organism had always made fun of him, but he didn't blame them: they couldn't understand the balancing act he had to do to protect that blessed boy's health! The only one that could have understood him was a distant colleague - George Teller - that had to face a daily situation curiously resembling his: his assisted's girlfriend wasn't an alien, but the infernality of her cooking was every bit as bad as Lum's one!_(6)_

And now his section had to elaborate no less than… the _vaginal lubricant fluid_ of the aspirant Mrs. Moroboshi… and a _good dose_, no less!

The thing Meals was most worried about was obviously the fact that that substance wouldn't have come from an earthling woman. What would it have tasted like? Sweet? Bitter? Would it have been spicy as those deadly nuggets?

Percival couldn't grant anything… and the worst part was that it wouldn't have been enough swallowing it : it needed to be treated by the hepatic laboratory_(7)_ under the guidance of Humper, allowing so for the Sensitive to obtain that indispensable catalyzer. How much time would have been necessary, before finally being able to excrete it? What would consequences have been on the metabolic apparatuses? Maybe nothing… but if something negative happened, he would be the one to blame about!

*It's always the same: if the patient recovers, it's merit of gods. If it perishes, it's fault of doctors!* poor Sweeper sadly brooded.

There wasn't that much he could do, except telling his operators to control the salivary reserves and the gastric juices' ones…!

* * *

Burt Racer was in his apartment of the Motor section, again inside the cephalic zone. It was about 3:00 P.M.: time of Ataru's afternoon nap before the pre-evening girl-hunting at 5:00 P.M.. He had about 2 hours to ponder quietly on the immediate future. And to work his anger off …!

Anger caused by not having been called for the reunion and for having known what was effectively brewing only from the colleague of the Cerebral. Absurd: the head of the Motor section treated as the fifth wheel!

He stood motionlessly at the centre of the room, observing the posters that embellished the walls, portraying the most famous sprinters and runners of the history: Carl Owens, Abebe Bikila, Pietro Mennea... near them stood out even an advertising poster of a notorious brand of sports equipment: in it there was Ataru's figure - with a puffed up expression and a pair of shoes tied together around his neck - above the writing: _With these shoes a man saved the world! Mizunokoji: in the service of mankind and in the service of the world.(8)_

On the opposite wall it was represented Ataru's medal showcase, composed by the images of all the honors the major Nations of the planet had assigned him due to his victory over Lum, thanks to which the Earth hadn't become a colony of Uru. It could be seen the _Imperial Medal of Honor_ from Japan, the _Congressional Medal of Honor _from the United States, the British _Victoria Cross_, the French _Legion d'Onore_, the Italian _Golden_ _Medal for Civil Valour_ and many others… there were even the _Lenin's Order_ from URSS and the _Maltese Cross_ from Malta Island! Finally, it couldn't miss the award of the United Nations: a parchment signed personally by the Secretary-General Kurt Waldheim, in charge in 1978, on which stood out the writing: _You saved our World!_

Racer sighed. What a short-lived glory… it was right who said it was very easy passing from riches to rags! If the various heads of state that had given all those honors to the "Champion of the Earth" had known the way he was considered by his fellows townspeople of Tomobiki, they would have found it hard to believe!

Really was it worth risking the heart failure to get all that human ingratitude? Ingratitude derived from the envy that the whole male population of the planet (from the age of 13 up) felt toward Moroboshi, whose victory granted him also the heart of the most charming girl of the universe. Not to mention the resentment felt by the female population, that didn't forgive him his "choice" of an alien woman, instead of an earthling one!

Not even _one_, among them - before or after Lum's challenge - reacted positively at his advances, instead of beating the crap out of him!

The only one who honestly had the right to feel betrayed was Shinobu Myake, his ex-fiancè, but all the other girls should have peppered him with kisses, for having avoid them to probably end up being slaves of some uruseian noble.

Burt Racer then wondered if the meager consideration that sometimes he felt coming from his colleagues derived from the fact he was the real "guilty" that made Ataru win, providing him with that "unexpected wife" that drove all the other sections nuts!

But what was he supposed to do? Losing, causing him to ran away his whole life, like a miserable outcast? What a bunch of imbeciles!

And now they sent Fewer to lick his boot to warn him to get ready for the second match against _miss tiger-bikini_… the sexual match, naturally!

Yeah right… the Genetic section was surely not going to do the "big step" alone: before reaching the C they needed to pass by the B… he'd like to see them trying to do a decent foreplay without the Motor section! It wasn't like the C didn't provide a whole series of mechanical actions that he - Burt Racer - should have commanded either, while Percival would have deal "only" with the reproductive apparatuses.

"You just make sure to remind that idiot Ataru to cut his nails, to shave and to wear chapstick" he had replied to Fewer, interrupting his peremptory recommendations "and let me worry about the _moves_!"

Racer went to the adjacent room, where there was his operating station. Here he contemplated, in front of his driving armchair, the control levers of upper and lower limbs, surrounded by all the other control switches with their lights. He was overcome by a momentary panic… the confidence he displayed in front of the colleague of the Cerebral was dangerously fleeing away and poor Racer - the "saviour of the world", as he was called inside there - found himself doing considerations similar to Larry Meals' ones.

*Victory's got many fathers, but defeat…* he shook his head *… no… defeat is not orphan: defeat _always _has got a scapegoat! And, if things go bad, I'll be the scapegoat inside here…!

Thought that, he came back to his room, where he let his gaze lingering on Ataru's image, the one with the shoes tied around his neck.

"That boy will never forgive me, if I don't make him win a second time…!" he told himself.

* * *

Even Hugh Simons had got back to his department, situated next to the Cardiac section. The whole staff of the Neurologic was waiting anxiously for him, knowing full well what had been the order of the day of that reunion. As soon as they spotted him, they strived not to assault him to fill him with questions: looking at his expression, anything but confident, they easily understood the troubles were not finished at all, they were merely begun!

Finally, the assistant named Rusty Traynor, who was in more familiar terms with him_(9)_, decided to address him: "How did it go up there, sir…?"

"Mm-mh…!" Simons answered, shaking his hand. He then approached his operating console, he sat down and switched on the panel that indicated in real time the situation of the interpersonal relationships of the organism.

After having reported the presence of at least five pages of names (in practice all the girls of the terraqueous orb and of its vicinity, that Ataru Moroboshi knew at the moment) the board stabilized on the first twelve names visible on the screen._(10)_

**Pos.] Subject |R.C. Pts.| Zone - Notice**

**1] Lum |1468| LOVE - secret**

**2] Shinobu Myake |1201| LOVE - official**

**3] Sakura |987| AFFECTION - official**

**4] Ran |821| AFFECTION - official**

**5] Ryoko Mendo |716| AFFECTION - official**

**6] Oyuki |712| AFFECTION - official**

**7] Benten |665| AFFECTION - official**

**8] Kurama |541| AFFECTION - official**

**9] Ryunosuke Fujinami |439| AFFECTION - official**

**10] Asuka Mitzunokoshi |284| SYMPATHY - official**

**11] Tsuyuko Amamori |204| SYMPATHY - official**

**12] Elle Rosenbach |147| SYMPATHY - official**

**Current Update page 1 by 5 next page**

"How come is Queen Elle's value still so high?" Hugh asked, his voice lacking of particular emotions.

Rusty was taken aback, expecting a very different kind of considerations: "Well… you know how it is, boss: you never forget your first love!"

"Even after the refrigerator thing?"

"If it hadn't been for that accident, her R.C. would be a lot higher… and maybe we wouldn't be here on Earth, sir."

"Evidently! I see Lum's R.C. hasn't reached the _couple_ zone yet."

"No, but its improvement is constant: we estimate it could reach 1500 within twenty four hours or thereabouts."

Simons reflected for an instant, then he eyed the counter's display that checked the residual life of the ASDs: in that moment it read 1 day, 10 hours, 24 minutes and 16 seconds…

"Not a moment too soon…!" he commented.

"For what, sir?"

"To reach the _couple_ zone before of the collapse of the last SISAS. If Moroboshi's inhibition vanished sooner than that, we wouldn't manage to control the C intercourse with Miss Lum in a appropriate manner. Instead we must manage, Rusty: I want to make our colleagues inside there perceive that all this is mostly an act of love… not a banal fluids exchanging between two Genetic sections!"

"So it has been decided, sir?"

"Yeah… didn't I tell you could stop worrying about Lum? Everything is going to come, for people who can wait for it!"

"But… have you already thought about an approaching plan, sir?"

Hugh Simons felt a cold shiver running down his spine. Of course he hasn't thought about it!

Besides, it wasn't that easy: Larry Meals' objections during the reunion had been pertinent, after all: after years of refusals, even just intentional betrayals (how many girls Simons should have thanked for having "courteously" rejected Ataru?), teasing and dirt-like treatments, how could they simply urge that respectable boy to approach his _better half_ and tell her: "Listen, dear, I've got a good news for you: I've joked until now, the truth is that I love you more than anyone else. Let's do it!"

It wasn't so improbable that Lum told him to get lost out of spite, with the intention of making him fry for at least a few days "Since you have made me wait four years, flirting around with all the other girls!" or maybe she would have categorically declared: "_Firstly_ marry me officially, so _afterward _you won't make up any excuse!"

It would have been a real disaster because, once blown up the last ASD, Ataru's hormones would have gone wild at the mere sight of her curves and he wouldn't have accepted a refusal: he would have thrown himself on her, even if he had have to rape her! And that absolutely mustn't happen, otherwise poor Ataru would have hated himself for the rest of his whole pitiful life.

On the other hand it wasn't possible to court her in a proper manner either, gradually assuming a different attitude (more affectionate, more loving) so that she - that, after all, was just waiting for that - sweetly opened her heart to him (and her legs, like Gus Percival said). Such an approach would have undoubtedly worked, but there wasn't enough time to put it into practice.

"Sir… are you feeling alright…?"

Hugh Simons roused. He was so buried in his meditation that he completely cut himself off from the surrounding reality: "Yes, yes… sorry, Rusty… I was lost in thought!"

"Actually, you look very downcast, boss. You told me not to worry about Lum… but shouldn't that imply you need to stop worrying too?"

"You're too rational to work in the Emotional, Rusty" his superior chuckled bitterly "however, remember I am the head, down here. And the head _always_ has to worry!"

"I know, sir" Rusty answered trying to sound respectful "it's just I feel bad seeing you so concerned… more than necessary, maybe."

Simons smiled at him gratefully: "Unfortunately I'm not overemphasizing at all, my friend: the matter, if not grievous, is very serious… and I, how stupid of me, realized that only now!"

"What did you realize, boss?"

"Until now I always believed that, to fix this whole damn thing, the tougher nut to crack belonged obviously to Percival's staff… instead it belongs to us!"

"To tell the truth, I was suspecting it too, sir! Anyway… we will make it, won't we?"

"Oh, you can be sure of that, Rusty… we will undoubtedly make it. And you know why?"

"I'm hanging on your words, sir!"

"Because it is not a matter of _in which way we make it_… the matter is that _we absolutely must make it_. That's all!"

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1)__ Supposing that Ataru Moroboshi, at the age of 17, has been one metre sixty (Japanese people aren't giants) the distance between his forehead and groin should be this. Eventual corrections are accepted. (Andy Grim is talking)_

_2)__ Burt Racer, head of the Motor section, could be considered the real winner of the race that saved the world from the Oni invasion._

_3)__ Years ago, reading a __**Kimagure Orange Road**__'s__ fanzine, the author Izumi Matsumoto told his fans that Akemi Kasuga, Kyosuke's mother, died in childbirth during the delivery of the twins Manami and Kurumi. The reason, he said, was that Akemi's family was of extraterrestrial origin (from which their ESP powers come from) and that involved a genetic incompatibility with the children's father, Takashi. The first delivery (Kyosuke's one) went smooth, unfortunately it wasn't the case of the second one. That's what good Percival is clearly worried about, since he's - that's for sure by now - quite a scrupulous element. (Andy Grim is talking)_

_4)__ He means the components of her organic sections. As you will have gathered, the organic members of a male organism are men, the ones of a female organism are women. Except for Ranma Saotome's organism, where the sex change involves his body, not his organic team!_

_5)__ Neil Armstrong is the notorious commander of the mission __**Apollo 11**__, the first one landed on the moon in 1969. Jim Lovell is the less famous commander of the unlucky mission __**Apollo 13**__, that had to abort the second landing in 1970 due to a sudden malfunction that put in serious danger the life of the three astronauts._

_6)__ George Teller is the responsible of Ranma Saotome's Metabolic. That said everything!_

_7)__ The liver._

_8)__ Mizunokoji is the name of Tobimaro's family, forced boyfriend of Ryoko Mendou, Shutaro's sister. As you well know, his family is proprietary of the greatest planetary holding of sports equipment (at least into Takahashi's world). I didn't ideated the image with the shoes: it was drawn on a fanzine I bought in a comic shop of my town several years ago (instead, the advertising sentence is mine). (Andy Grim is talking)_

_9)__ We met him in the 1st chapter: he's the one who almost had been swept by the fall of the first ASD._

_10) Five pages of 12 names would match with 60 girls "ogled" by Ataru moroboshi! I'm not considering myself a "rigorous" expert of the saga: can anyone among you readers tell me if I have been "long" or "short"? (Andy Grim is talking)_


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: "What if he simply told her 'I love you'…?"

* * *

With a deafening burst, followed by a never-ending sizzling, the "anti-seduction device" number 12 - the second last of the circuit - terminated his inhibitory activity forever. Even if the hull had been held back by the safety net that surrounded it (that Hoffman_(1)_ previously installed) countless fragments had been projected around, while the wall of the nerve passage had been completely daubed with the electrolytic substance of the SISAS' blasted condensers.

The crash brought Brad Fewer to the scene, he found Hoffman with other two Immunitary technicians already there, busy in making a rapid control of the nearby nerve cells' damages, while Jerry Humper, the head of the Sensitive, stood motionlessly with his hands clasped behind his back, sadly contemplating the device's remains.

"Are you okay, Jerry?" Fewer asked him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

The other looked at him with a blank expression, then turned again toward the poor ASD that continued wearing itself out, frying and sizzling: "I am okay… but he is not…!"

"Oh, come on" the responsible of the Cerebral replied, smiling friendly at him "you're talking about it as if it were your own son!"

Humper looked at his colleague again: "Virtually, he is" he calmly said but with firm voice "you see, Brad… I'm the first one that admits installing these infernal devices has been a solemn crap to do. In fact, thinking about it now, I have to admit that it was the worst service we could possibly do to _those two_! Anyway, when you see the fruit of your labour disintegrating - even for a good cause - there's nothing to laugh about…!

"I know what you mean" Fewer told him, tightening his hold on his shoulder "but this is not the right moment to cry over it: we must look ahead and there's no much time left. Follow me, instead: the boss wants us in his office immediately."

"Just a moment: you come with me, first…"

"Where?"

"To check the state of the last SISAS."

The two quickly covered the distance that separated them from the passage that accommodated the last device still at work and stopped right underneath it, at due fair and cautious distance from it.

The ASD number 13 was in its place, caged like its "late" predecessors, although it wasn't showing signs of any malfunction. At least not visually.

"What's this humming…?" Fewer inquired.

"Can't you figure it out? He's suffering, poor thing… think that, from now on, that poor shunter is bearing the whole Miss Lum's sensual charge alone, to avoid for it to reach the Genetic's circuits!"

"Incredible" Fewer stepped back by instinct "it's a good thing that now Lum is inside her UFO!"

"True, but that doesn't change anything."

"How come? If she's not here, the sensual charge should decrease. Am I right?"

"Unfortunately, you're wrong: the ASDs don't block the impulses coming just from _perceptive_ information, but the ones coming from _mnemonic _information too. Even when Lum and Ataru are not together, his mental remembrances about her would be enough to make him desire her physically. And dreams, don't you think about them?"

"You're right: he probably has hundreds of them about her!" Fewer admitted.

"Correct. Try to think what would happen without these devices - that in addiction during the night work at low capacity to be able of discharge as much as possible: can you imagine what a waste of STF_(_2_)_? It would drain Percival's reservoirs!"

"Astounding! And how long is going to endure this one, in your opinion?"

"By the last calculations, it should collapse in one day and half… or just over!"

"Then there's no time for delay! Come, let's go to meet the boss."

"Just what the hell does he want now?"

"I've _no idea: I just know Simons asked an audience with him. Maybe they need us."_

"Come on! We shouldn't keep them waiting any longer then."

"When did you become so considerate?"

"I don't know… maybe when I saw A1 bursting with laughter during the reunion!"

The colleague of the Cerebral nodded with a snicker, placing his hand on the other's shoulder again.

* * *

Once crossed the doorstep of the Coordinator's office, the heads of the Cerebral and Sensitive found themselves in the presence of Chris Wellington, busy with examining a report that Hugh Simons delivered to him just before, the latter now sat in front of him. It was a resumptive relation of all the "lovers' quarrels" happened between Ataru and his intergalactic girlfriend, concluded (in 99% of the cases) with the usual electroshock at the end.

"Here we are, sir." Fewer announced.

"Sit down!" A1 answered straight out.

Simons moved aside to make room for his two colleagues. Humper stood between them and soon his gaze inevitably set on the oneiric portrait representing Ataru's fatal companion, hinted at the beginning of this story.

It was an image where Lum appeared dressed like an oriental princess, covered with some sort of snow-white tunic, fitted at the waist with an arabesque belt. Her plunging neckline was adorned with a necklace composed of golden jewels. Green, long hair fell harmoniously along her back, except for two flowing locks that laid gracefully on her breasts. Her forearms were spread out like in a sort of silent contemplation and her right hand held a blue crystal ball.

From the knee down, the body of that splendid creature was immersed in a lake, poetically illuminated by a crescent that was the setting of her haunting figure.

It could be thought that the psychic elaboration of that image drawn on pretty much from Ataru's "orientalising" philosophy, in which eagerly-awaited harem his beautiful Lum would have obviously been his Favourite.

Actually, the head of the Neuro had no doubt on the matter: that image represented the compendium of the ideal woman their assisted had. Lum was his Venus rising from the waters. A sort of woman-goddess, for which the ex-champion of the Earth always had a feeling at the halfway between adoration and terror.

As Simons underlined again and again, _here_ was the heart of the problem: accepting the love he felt for that girl - and so reciprocating what she felt about him herself - would have meant, at least theoretically, totally becoming dominated by her, in the sense that everything she asked him, he would have done, and feeling like the worst of scoundrels, if he failed.

And this scared Ataru Moroboshi too much!

Once done contemplating Lum's figure, Jerry Humper whispered to Brad Fewer: "Is it just my imagination or that portrait is smiling more than usual?"

"Maybe because our counterparts are smelling what's happening inside here!" the other answered in a very low voice.

"Am I missing something…?" A1 inquired, with his usual sharp tone, slightly imbued with irony.

"No, sir" the head of the Cerebral coughed out "nothing important!"

Wellington furtively scrutinized both of them and added: "I've just been told the second last ASD has packed it a short time ago."

"Affirmative, sir" Humper answered "just five minutes ago."

"So, how much time is left…?"

"Thirty three hours and sixteen minutes from this moment, sir."

The Coordinator indicated the colleague of the Neuro: "Mr. Simons requested this meeting for us to in fact define the _modus operandi_ to use in these hours. You may take the floor, Hugh!"

"Thanks! So, my friends… here it comes to do, in a little more than one day, what normal lovebirds usually do in several days, weeks, months or years… as the case may be" Simons pointed at the notorious portrait "we must express to that madam - and we better start to get used calling her like that now - what our assisted really feels about her… or, to be more exact, what he had _always_ felt over the last four years!"

"Let me get it right, Hugh: you want to give the standard practice the go-ahead? _Courtship-engagement-marriage_?"

"Exactly, Brad. With ceremony and everything, if possible!"

"No less! Well, Hugh: you either feel like joking or you went completely crazy!"

"You're free to reach that conclusion, guys. Although, first, I ask you to listen to me very carefully."

"We're all ears, Simons" A1 interjected "on condition that your exposition be reasonably short."

"I'll be telegraphic, I promise."

"Perfect. Go on."

"To make of Ataru a monogamist companion, we must administer Lum's VLF to him, right?"

"Right!" Humper answered.

"And, to administer it, we need to make him consummate a full intercourse with her, right?"

"Obvious!" Fewer nodded.

"But this full intercourse won't be possible, as long as even one ASD still works. Is that true?"

"Absolutely true" the head of the Sensitive confirmed "as long as Lum's sensual impulses are held back by that shunter, Percival's sensors can't receive them. No reception, no feeding to the erective circuit. No power from the erective circuit, no functionality from the junction joint_(3)_. No disinhibition of the junction joint, no intercourse!"

"A perfect theorem, Humper" The Coordinator commented "you did a very good job, at the time!"

Hit where it hurts, the designer of the SISAS's ventured to observe: "I did what you ordered me to do, Mr. Wellington!"

Humper's reckless baldness made his colleagues shudder, but the boss just smiled: "That's true, Jerry, you're right. And, to think about it, I still have to thank you!"

"There's no need, sir" it was Humper's turn to shudder "in all sincerity, I'm not proud at all of what I've done!"

"You did your duty" A1 replied flatly "and that shouldn't trouble your conscience in any way."

"Maybe. I just wish things turn out well, for those two… I wish for Ataru to be finally happy. After all, sir, isn't this the reason because we're here?"

"We're actually working on it, Humper" the head cut short "go on, Hugh!"

"Yes sir… as I was just saying, it can't be full intercourse as long as the last SISAS is in use. And it _must _be a full intercourse! We absolutely can't just perform a B_(4)_ for the sole purpose of exciting Lum and…" Simons had to stop and pulled out an handkerchief to dry his wet forehead "…causing for her VLF to squirt out!"

Fewer, out of academicism, felt the urge of observing: "And why not? The problem of obtaining the core substance would be solved to begin with. Afterward, when Ataru will be monogamist…"

"No, Brad, you don't understand! A mere mechanical petting - without any excitement of Ataru - would not excite Lum, it would disgust her, instead! A C, a complete union with her - a reciprocal giving - would be a far cry from that.

"But we just agreed the C is not possible, as long as that device's working."

"Indeed, _that_'s the problem! The trouble is that, once blasted the last SISAS, Ataru will go down headfirst at the sight of his soul mate, even if she would be covered by a deep-sea diver's suit! A brutal, cold copulation would disgust Lum as well, especially if forced to it… and once that Moroboshi realized what he has done, he would despise himself so much so that our worst fears on apsychological point of view could actually be fulfilled. The life of those two could be ruined forever. It's a chance we absolutely mustn't take!"

"A fine mess" the head of the Cerebral exclaimed "this is a perfect vicious circle, damn it: we must make Ataru monogamist _before_ his sexual hunger about Lum, repressed for four years, blows up. To succeed, they need to make love… but they can't if the last ASD doesn't blow _first_. And when it blows, Ataru will pounce on Lum, _before_ becoming monogamist! Ah, you have to admit, we're one hell of smart guys…!"

"It's a real disaster" Humper murmured "a no way out situation!"

"That's right, gentlemen" the head of the Neuro confirmed "unless…"

"Unless what…? Speak up, Hugh: don't you see we're fuming, even worse than after one of the _madam_'s shock, with impatience?"

"…unless, thirty three hours hence" Simons eyed his chronograph "Ataru won't manage to convince his better half of the concreteness of his feelings. After all she already understood that concreteness time ago, thanks to all the shy and occasional signals Ataru recently allowed us to send her. She just needs a confirmation, essentially... so let's confirm it to her!"

"It's easy for you to say, Hugh" Humper retorted "but it's not so simple! After all those rotten behaviours we have been forced to make him do, it's not like we can put a lovey-dovey letter into her school locker or serenade her under her UFO… I'm afraid she would never believe it."

"Of course not. We can't do that" A1 agreed "we would just succeed in making him look ridiculous!"

The four brooded for a few moments longer. Then, finally, the clever Brad Fewer dropped a hint: "What if… he simply told her _I love you_…?"

The others' eyes widened. That was effectively what the _Princess of the Oni_ craved the most. The signal that Lum's Emotional needed to make Ataru Moroboshi's Relational Coefficient rise over 2000 points._(5)_

It was the most effective method… and the most difficult one to put in practice!

"We will never manage to make him say those words, you know that full well" Hugh Simons bitterly answered "he used them too many times, with too many girls, with the aim of obtaining their favours upon him. Managing to use them with Lum, with much more noble intentions, would be impossible for him to do. Of course one day he will manage… but not now!"

"So?" Humper asked.

"So we need to think something else" Wellington answered, recovering his rough tone "come on, gents, rack your brains: this is a _brainstorming_, not a philosophical symposium!"

The brooding started again. Once again, valuable Fewer took the floor_(6)_: "There's a circumstance that maybe could help us" his colleagues strained their ears, waiting for the rest of the sentence "tomorrow is Lum's birthday, isn't it?"

Simons thought he understood what the colleague was driving at, but he couldn't help him: "I'm not sure: that damned uruseian calendar has always been indecipherable for this organism!"

"Is there a way to know?"

The head of the Neuro put a hand behind his head: "Well, I think so… we could ask Ten."

"Find someone else: who would trust that brat?"

"Ran, then."

"Perfect. It is to her advantage to help us!"_(7)_

"What have you got in mind, Brad?" Humper asked.

"I'll answer you with a question: has he ever given her a birthday gift?"

"Not once!" Simons curtly answered.

"So it's time to give it to her: it's the confirmation we need."

"You aren't thinking about a ring, are you, Brad? How could he possibly afford it?" the head of the Sensitive asked.

"No ring. But you came close."

"What else do you want to give her?"

"A dress."

Simons put a hand to his chin: "Mmh… I think it's a bit banal."

"An _ordinary_ dress would be banal… not the kind I'm thinking of!"

The others needed just few seconds to figure out the idea of the head of the Cerebral.

"Awesome! You're great, Brad: it's genial!" the colleague of the Neuro exclaimed.

"An extraordinary idea, indeed" Humper added "but there's a problem: where do we get it? And who could help us with the choice?"

"I thought about that too."

"Don't tell me you were thinking of asking his mother or Shinobu: I don't think it's a good idea!" Simons objected.

"In fact I wasn't. But there's a person who will serve our purpose: a person that has always known about the problems in the relationship of our little lovebirds and she's fully qualified to help us."

"Who are you talking about?" Wellington asked.

"Doctor Sakura."

After having thought about it, the colleagues couldn't avoid agreeing with Fewer, boss included: "Very well, gentlemen," he declared complacent "I'm fully satisfied with the result of this meeting. You have all powers to proceed, each one within its terms of reference. You can go!"

The three subordinates stood up, preparing to leave the office. Although when Fewer opened the door, A1 added: "One more thing!"

When they turned, the heads of the Cerebral, of the Neuro and of the Sensitive, spectated another inedited sight from their commander: a relaxed smile without any innuendo.

"You've decidedly done a great work… as always in all these 17 years, after all. If I have never said nothing of the sort to you so far, it's not because that bastard - that you understandably maybe thought I have always been - doesn't think it, but because I didn't want to distract you from your fundamental duties. As you well know, an Organic Coordinator has the duty to demand - and to obtain - top efficiency from all sections, to preserve mental and physical health of the organism they handed him over. But now I think it's time to tell you… and I'm speaking to all your absent colleague, to which I ask you to refer my words: you all are really on the ball! You can rest assured Ataru Moroboshi is not so unlucky as everyone thinks… and not only because he has got such a woman" he pointed at the portrait "but because he can rely on organics as you are. Thank you gentlemen… for his part too!

Quite touched by these words - beautiful as well as unexpected from their commander - Fewer, Simons and Humper left the office, pervaded by a great joy.

Maybe the sad odyssey of that weird boy - although better of many other "sane" people - was really about to finish and the now disowned saviour of the Blue Planet would have finally achieved his deserved happiness.

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1) The responsible of the Immunitary section._

_2) Seed Transfer Fluid._

_3) See note 3 at chapter 8._

_4) Petting intercourse._

_5) The passion threshold._

_6) Despite his name, the head of Ataru's Cerebral doesn't seem an unwary._

_7) As Lum's rival in becoming Rei's wife._


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: "As much as the way is still uphill, he won't walk alone anymore!"

* * *

"How far have you gotten, Evans?"

"I finished the analysis in this moment, Mr. Moore!"

"Good. Let me have a look!"

The head of the Cardiac section examined the data his assistant passed him, nodding his head with approval: "Mmmh…well, well: it looks like this planet's atmosphere is perfectly compatible with the earthling human organism!"

"Yes sir… there's just a higher presence of rare gasses. Can I ask you, though, why did you make me repeat the analysis we had done when we came up here the first time?"_(1)_

"I deemed it wise to do, Evans, since we're going to stay much longer this time … moreover, we must supply quite a lot of combustive agent to Racer and Percival to effect the C condition!"

"Ah, right… I forgot it!"

"Really? I just made you effect the check-up of the coronary arteries three times!"

"What can I say, Mr. Moore… I thought it was part of the usual routine!"_(2)_

"Don't worry" the superior replied, smiling "I can't blame you, if you didn't get used to the idea yet… after all, this organism is going to turn over a fundamental leaf of its existence. We're going to enter a new world!"

Evans believed to detect a particular accent in his boss' voice, while the latter pronounced the word _enter_…!

"In some way we're already arrived on a new world" he observed, avoiding to use the same verb Moore used "do you think we will ever come back to ours?"

"Do you already miss Earth, Evans?"

"Not really, sir: I was just wondering. For all I know, Mr. Moroboshi has never had too many opportunities to control his own existence!"

"Unfortunately no" the other answered, sighing "on the other hand, you mature and learn to become master of your own destiny passing through difficulties and failures… and I believe this boy finally found the right direction!"

"As long as it's not a too sloping uphill way, Mr. Moore!"

The responsible of the Cardiac meditated a few instants, then commented: "I can't answer you, my friend… but now, as much as the way is still uphill, he won't walk alone anymore. And that's what's important!"

* * *

Hugh Simons stood, his hands in his pockets, absorbed in his silent contemplation of the interpersonal relationships control display. His gaze was fixed on the first line of the screen, that reported the following information:

**Pos.] Subject |R.C. Pts.| Zone - Notice**

**1] Lum |1800****| LOVE - official **

The head of the Neurologic let those scanty but significant statistics to fill his soul with the peacefulness they were transmitting to him. Especially the note _official_ that, after four never-ending years, finally replaced that absurd and hypocritical _secret_ that labelled how Moroboshi felt about his alien companion. The actual note reported that those feelings were completely accepted by the boy's heart now!

The level of Lum's R.C. had risen well over his most optimistic expectations: not only did it cross the threshold of 1500 points that led the quality of their relationship into _couple zone_, but it also went higher, by virtue of a wonderful kiss the two intergalactic lovebirds shared right after Ataru's "sui generis" proposal! Even if it wasn't the first kiss the couple shared from a "technical" point of view, it was unquestionably the first one that hadn't been stolen by Lum, but desired by her "Darling" as well!

A sensual, deep French kiss… surprisingly lacking the usual electro-libidinous jolt from the girl! August Percival found it hard to believe, especially because in that moment Lum wasn't wearing any safety yellow ribbon. Maybe the head of the Genetic had finally got some breathing space.

A 300 points kiss_(3)_… that brought the R.C. at only 200 points short of the amount it needs to reach the _passion_ zone, that it was going to be inevitably crossed, due to the approaching C intercourse that would have granted a further gain of 500 points!

Simons couldn't take his eyes off that monitor. He read that line over and over again, almost afraid of seeing it disappear and then being forced to resign himself to the fact that he just made a blunder!

Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning, he saw the colleague of the Cerebral that was also watching the interpersonal control display. Then Fewer averted his eyes from the screen and smiled at him: "Congratulation, Hugh: you did it!"

The head of the Neuro shook his head: "It's all due to you, Brad!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"The truth: who provided the key to make Ataru become a monogamist to Humper? Who suggested to administer the PGT he lacked to him from an external source? And especially, who formulated the strategy to win Lum's trust?"

"Well, okay… But having ideas isn't enough: they need to be translated into design and construction. You and Humper dealt with it, managing very well!"

"The fact remains that, without you, we would have hopelessly groped in the dark. And to think that you're directing the brain of an individual who everyone considers the most stupid!"

"Not everyone: even my colleague, the head-section of Lum's Cerebral, said that Ataru Moroboshi is not stupid…"

Simons was waiting for the rest of the sentence.

"…he is just a jerk!"

At this point the head of the Neuro roared with laughter, immediately imitated by Fewer.

"Ah, jeez…" he exclaimed right after, drying his eyes "… it's all so incredible: just three days ago the four of us were around a table trying to solve an impossible problem… and now we're here: Ataru's on Uru, officially married with Lum and, soon, once the wedding feast is over, those two will retire for their first wedding night! I really find difficult to believe the events of the last twenty four hours happened for real…!"

"How about watching again the recordings? Just to get used to the idea?

"Why not…? After you, buddy!"

So the two went up toward the cephalic zone to reach Fewer's station.

* * *

_NOTES_

_1) In occasion of the __**Setsubun**__tournament between Onis and Lucky Gods._

_2) Just like Rusty Traynor of the Neuro said in the first chapter "No human being would be able to wear out the coronary arteries as that damn pervert does!"_

_3)_ _An A intercourse provides an R.C. increase of 200 points; 300 points in the case of a French kiss._


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: "Happy Birthday, Mrs. Moroboshi!"

* * *

The mnemonic images relating the last twenty four hours of life spent by their organism were unfolding on the monitor of Brad Fewer's office.

Images that showed firstly a surprised Ran confirming to Ataru that, according to the uruseian calendar, Lum's eighteenth birthday fell on that day. Then they showed an even more surprised Sakura being clearly willing to take Ataru to the best bridal boutique in Tomobiki. Images showing Ataru's hand giving an introduction letter from the expectant president of the _Mendou Financial Group_ to the boutique's owner, that granted the solvency of the 25 ten years-dated bills with which Lum's aspirant consort bought the best wedding dress the boutique could offer to costumers.

"I offer you the last chance to become a gentleman" an unusual Shutaro Mendou declared, in which the new love he developed toward Asuka Mizunokoji finally replaced his previous infatuation toward Lum "but if you disappoint that sweet creature again - just like you did after the escape from planet El - I'm warning you Moroboshi: I will have no mercy!"_(1)_

Images that showed Ataru's room, seen through a _chink in the door (where the boy was hiding behind), with the floor always partially covered by his_ "_cohabitee" 's tiger-striped _carpet… on which he had placed a package wrapped up in a green-blue paper (like Lum's hair), embellished with a golden ribbon that held, in a prominent place, a mysterious card.

Lum flew inside the room, through the purposely open window… her voice calling "Darliiing… where are you…?"

Lum saw the package… she approached it and spotted the card… she detached it with trembling hands. Lum read these simple lines:

_Happy Birthday Mrs. Moroboshi…_

…_if you're still thinking to call yourself like that for the rest of our life, this will come in handy!_

and lower down:

_I can't say it to you yet... but I can write it: I LOVE YOU!_

That had been the last flash of genius of Brad Fewer, Cerebral administrator of the most stupid individual of the planet (or at least always naïvely considered as such by his fellows townspeople)!

"We will never manage to make him say those words!" the head of the Emotional section had confirmed.

"Then let's make him _write_ them!" the colleague of the Cerebral had replied.

* * *

Lum's blue eyes streaked with sweet tears her snow-white cheeks, that immediately empurpled … she knelt down before the package, literally ripping the ribbon off, disintegrating that poor paper, throwing the lid open… to remain speechless at the sight of the most beautiful wedding dress that Earth fashion could have conceived!

Uru was much more advanced than Earth on a technology matter, but Oni couldn't make such wedding dresses yet! She delicately took it in her pretty tiny hands, she brought it up to her chest and sobbed joyfully for long, murmuring again and again: "Darling…! Darling…!"

Soon after she stood up, crying out: "Darling! Darling, where are you…? Darling, come out! I know you're here! Please, come to me… come, hurry…!"

"Come on, Burt: bring him to her." Wellington ordered.

The head of the Motor answered: "Roger!"

Calm, measured, slightly smiling, Ataru Moroboshi, 17 years and half, the ex _independence day_ hero, entered the room. His girlfriend, his woman, his goddess, was waiting motionlessly for him with her arms wide open… her pose curiously resembled the one of the notorious oneiric portrait.

Ataru stopped just a few inches from her and caressed her tenderly: "You're so beautiful…!" he murmured drawing his hand back, now wet with her tears.

Lum's answer came in the form of a hug. Tender at first, then stronger and stronger, tighter and tighter… the alarm lights of the Cardiac section started to light up until a message appeared on the emergency panel:

**WARNING: BREATHING INTERRUPTED **

"Make her stop, up there… otherwise we're in trouble!" Moore's alarmed voice called.

"L… Lu… LUUUM…!" Ataru screamed.

She realized: "Oh…! I'm sorry, my Darling…!" she exclaimed, releasing him immediately.

"Don't… mention it…!" he answered, grimacing for the pangs. Some POP and CRACK noises could be heard…

"Damages…?" A1 asked, once having got hold of the Immunitary.

"Minor… a couple of cracked ribs, I think. We are checking over." Hoffman answered.

"You can tell a good day from the morning" Brad Fewer murmured "I hope poor Gus doesn't start worrying in the wrong way!"_(2)_

Lum gazed tenderly at her Darling, then cupped his cheeks in her hands, drawing him close to her… the contact of their lips transmitted all the sweetness of that kiss, but the signals that Humper received reached only the Neuro's receivers,_(3) _since there were still 20 hours and 35 minutes to go before the collapse of the last ASD.

"What shall we do, boss?" Percival asked "I can't respond sensually… not yet!"

"At least deceive her" A1 answered "do your best, Burt: move that tongue, come on!"

"Orders, boss."

Burt Racer did his best and it seemed to work: Lum's smile maintained its brightness and her eyes didn't stop shining. Percival's skin crawled, he immediately understood the new _Mrs. Moroboshi_ wouldn't have be content with an A… sure enough, Lum brought her mouth close to Ataru's ear and whispered: "Shall we go to the UFO?"

"Drat…" Fewer exclaimed "…that's all we needed! Now what?"

"Temporize" Wellington replied "make him tergiversate, Brad!"

"It won't be easy, sir…!"

"Well, at least try, by God!"

"On… on the UFO?" Ataru swallowed "To do what…?"

"Would you listen to him?" Percival whined, desperate "_To do what..._? To play cards, you idiot!_(4)_ Brad, do something, for God's sake…!"

"Calm down, Gus… I've got an idea!"

Simons sighed in relief: while there was Brad Fewer, there was hope!

"Well, Darling" Lum answered with a gaze Simons wasn't sure if define mischievously sweet or sweetly mischievous "I've been waiting for you for four years! Don't you want…?" her gaze became imploring and full of languid desire.

"BRAAAD…!"

"KEEP YOUR HAIR ON, GUS…!" Fewer flatly ordered, meddling with the reason-related cells controls.

"I…" Ataru hesitated "… of course, but…" his eyes providentially set on the wedding dress, that Lum dropped before.

A brief stalemate, enough for Brad Fewer to get the umpteenth brainwave.

Ataru picked the dress up, presenting it to his girlfriend. "What about you? Don't you want… I mean,_ before_ of…?"

If possible, the girl's eyes shone even brighter and widened: "Darling, you're so sweet" she caressed him "but I trust you!"

Ataru closed his eyes, as if he was harboring a regret. Then he opened them again: "I know… but I prefer to do this way. I put you through too much trouble to deserve your trust. Now I want to earn it!"

Lum hugged him again…

"Oh, no… not again…!" Hoffman cursed.

Although, this time Lum's "hold" was much softer…

"You're so nice to me, Darling."

"No" he firmly answered "I'm just a rascal who is trying to become a good man!"

After a few seconds, it came that kind of answer that every detractor of Ataru - Megane _in primis_ - should have heard to finally understand the unexplainable masochism of its ideal female: "That's not true… you're just a good man that finally got tired of pretending to be a rascal!" Brad Fewer shook his head, looking at A1. "What's wrong, Brad?" he asked "you had it both ways once again, aren't you glad?"

"What can I say, sir? Women manage to understand men way better than how the latter understand themselves, that put me off each time more… how the hell do they manage?"

"Beats me…" the responsible of the Genetic answered, crossing his arms "maybe because men are built by women…!"_(5)_

_

* * *

_

The mnemonic images on the monitor of the Cerebral kept unfolding in front of Brad Fewer and Hugh Simons' eyes. Images that showed Lum and Ataru talking…

"So, when are we going to do it…? The wedding, I mean!" she asked.

"Tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow? But, Darling…!" the girl laughed heartily.

"Tomorrow, Lum, right away" he grabbed her arms "it's better not wait any longer!" he declared, gazing into her eyes. Simons tried to put in that gaze all the sincerity that now animated his boy: his soul mate shouldn't have doubted any more !

And she didn't. She raised just a practical objection: "But… the preparations… how can we… ?"

He nodded: "Yeah, it would be a problem, down here. But if we get married in your place…"

"In my place? On Uru?"

"Yes. Just like that time, remember? After that you freed me from Elle's clutches… at the time you got everything ready in a flash, right? You can do it again. And this time I swear you - on my own existence - there won't be any trick from me."

Lum's wonderful eyes started to tear up again. She gave him a tender kiss on the lips: "I knew you loved me… I always did…" she caressed his hair "…you just needed a bit of courage!"

"It's true… I'm sorry it's taken me this long to build it up!"

*Yeah… right the time needed to wreck a dozen of SISAS's!* Jerry Humper thought, remembering all the troubles he took to conceive, design and realize them. Nevertheless, he was happy too.

"We must go tell all our friends!" Lum said.

Ataru shook his head: "No. You can call your friends, if you want: Benten, Oyuki, Ran - Rei I don't know if it's the case - but keep mine in the dark."

"But Darling… you can't!"

"Of course I can: I don't want to take the risk for them to raise a fuss, Lum… especially Megane! When we're back on Earth, we will give a party with everyone, maybe… but for now let's clear off: just me and you!"

"What about your parents?"

"They'll come, obviously. You can ask Ran to give them a ride there."

Lum hadn't to reflect too much to agree with her boyfriend's plan. Thinking about the chaos that accompanied their young life together, that was effectively the best thing to do.

"As you prefer, my Darling…!" she finally answered.

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1) Mendo is referring to the events told in the movie __**Only you**__._

_2) Th__ose who can't guess the sense of Fewer's wisecrack, just write me: I'll answer myself. (Andy Grim is talking)_

_Let's say that Fewer is worried that__** something else**__ could be broken (or crushed)… and don't tell me you still don't understand…! (Ludra90 is talking)_

_3)_ _Still, that allowed Lum's R.C. level to rise._

_4)__ Do you remember the episode with the little demon Mujaki? It's in the story "__**Waking to a Nightmare**__" of the second manga book and in the 21th episode of the anime "__**Wake Up to a Nightmare**__"._

_5) This fanfiction's author just makes his characters talk, without necessarily agreeing with their opinions! (Andy Grim is talking)_


	14. Chapter 14

"_When a w__oman chooses you, you're hers forever. You're screwed. You might as well buy the wedding suit!"_

**Ernie Floyd (Bud Grace, 1988)**

"_Wife to me? I'd rather a_ _quartan ague!"_

**Baron Ripafratta (from **_**The Mistress of the Inn **_**by Carlo Goldoni, 1753)**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 14: "I now pronounce you husband and wife!"

* * *

The last recorded images were obviously those of the marriage ceremony…

Various notables of Uru's government were present in the church, and also several officials of the armed forces, whereof Moroboshi's father-in-law was commander._(1)_

Additionally, there were all the members of Lum's family, including Ten and his mother (whose presence would have granted for the groom not to end up charred by his "new cousin" 's hand), and her friends Benten, Oyuki, Ran (who brought Rei, in order to convince him to forget Lum once and for all) and even Kurama, who was luckily in the dark about Ataru's recent growth, that could have induced her to reconsider him as a partner for the continuation of her race!

Among earthlings, beside the Moroboshis, appeared Sakura (who fully earned the participation) together with her fiancée Tsubame Ozuno… and also Shinobu with her new boyfriend Inaba, for once without his hideous work suit. Ataru's ex fiancée stopped considering herself Lum's rival long ago and the two girls were now good friends.

Nevertheless, that patient and tender girl really couldn't avoid shedding a few tears!

Even Shutaro Mendou wanted to be one of the party (and actually it was due to him: without his "suretyship" they would have never accepted Ataru's bills for the wedding dress!) together with his fiancée Asuka Mizunokoji.

Her brother was there too, side by side with his bride-to-be Ryoko, Shutaro's sister. Tobimaro Mizunokoji, expectant "double brother-in-law" of the latter (and both of them horrified at the mere thought), inevitably resigned himself of becoming Ryoko's husband. After all, if even that "tough" Moroboshi had surrendered, how could he - a very meeker man - possibly escape his suitor's clutches?

* * *

Lum managed to retain a surprisingly controller demeanor, despite her sweating hands and the hot flushes she felt all over her body. The wonderful dress her expectant husband gave her had become as bothersome as a maillot and she couldn't wait to get rid of it, also due to other easy-to-guess reasons!

But who could have blamed her? How could she convince herself that wonderful moment had finally come?

After having hardly managed to stammer her "I so swear" out, when she heard her Darling's lips uttering the same answer, she almost fainted and Benten, her witness together with Oyuki (Ataru's ones were Sakura and Tsubame) had to support her from behind!

The rings exchange had been quite more problematic: her poor left hand simply couldn't stop shaking and Ataru had to grab her wrist with his own hand, to be able to slip the ring on her finger with the other one. When it come to put it on Ataru's finger, Lum had to hold her breath: if that little golden band fell out of her hand, she would never forgive herself. Her Darling looked at her to give her courage… little by little Lum moved the wedding ring closer to Ataru's finger… the last centimetres… the last millimetres... done! She did it!

"The coupling is successful" Brad Fewer commented "we're counting on you for this night's one, Burt!"

"Go fuck yourself!" the annoyed head of the Motor answered.

"But that's actually what we…"

"WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF, FUCK DAMMIT?" Percival yelled, exasperated. More the moment of the "go" come close, more he became like a coiled spring.

"Calm down, gents… caaalm down…!" the Coordinator warned.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife" the celebrant finally declared "you may now kiss the bride."

Lum's cheeks, flushing a bright red, sparkled due to the incessant sliding down of tears. _His wife_'s face resembled the one of a scared bunny, but he couldn't remember of having ever seen her so beautiful!

He lifted her veil and sealed their promise with a kiss… a promise he had "_de facto_" made her four years before, at the end of the notorious tag race that ended Uru's conquest plans about Earth, giving birth to their realized love story instead.

Although, it was a kiss still lacking of sensuality, due to the four hours and half of working left to the thirteenth ASD. Hugh Simons fervently hoped that kiss would be the last one lacking August Percival's contribution!

* * *

The recording was finished. Brad Fewer switched the monitor off.

"Well, well… _easy_ part's over, dear Hugh!"

"You said it right, friend… that's how things stand! However, thank you for everything: without your help I would have never brought him so far!"

"Come on, do not underestimate yourself: I'm sure you will manage to make a very good husband out of him."

"I hope so… especially for _her_ own good. I'm afraid I will still need your genial ideas!"

"The Cerebral is always here, buddy. But I would advise you to face one problem at a time: the rendez-vu lies ahead now…!"

Galvanized by those words, the head of the Neuro looked at the counter for one last time: forty five more minutes…!

"You're right" Simons got up from his chair "time to get ready!"

"Yeah… well, so…" Fewer offered his hand to the colleague "…break a leg, Hugh. We're all going to put our heads in the lion's mouth… or better… _in the ogress' mouth_!"

This time, the acuteness of the head of the Cerebral failed: how could the head of the Neuro imagine the sweet Lum as an open-mouthed hungry ogre?

"She's not an ogress, Brad: she's a great woman. And she will be a wonderful wife, just wait!"

Smiling at his slightly bitter tone, the colleague adjusted the target of the sentence: "I believe you. Well, in this case… good _Lumar landing_: to you, Burt and Gus!"_(2)_

Simons didn't need much time to understand the pun: "Alright… good _Lumar landing_. Thank you again, my friend!" he answered shaking his hand.

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1) I've often heard Lum being called __**princess**__, but it's an error: her father is NOT the ruler of Uru, he is at most its military commander (in fact he led the expedition to conquer the Earth). Besides, in the scene of the movie __**Only You**__, when Lum gets on an interceptor to chase that spy Rose that had just kidnapped Ataru, a soldier tries to warn her the fighter is broken addressing her as __**Miss **__Lum, not as __**Your Highness**__. (Andy Grim is talking)_

_2) This is not a writing error, it's a pun between our favourite alien's name and the word __**lunar landing**__. _


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: "Should I really be grateful to that computer?"

* * *

"_No more you'll wander, my amorous little butterflyyyy…flitting about by day and niiight, disturbing the rest of all those pretty womeeen… my little Narcissus, young Adonis of looove…_!"

The singing quartet composed of Shinobu, Sakura, Ryoko and Asuka was superbly performing the famous aria _No more you'll wander_, taken from the opera _The Marriage of Figaro_, set to music - on Lorenzo Da Ponte's libretto - by the great Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart! The earthling female wedding guests of the groom couldn't resist the temptation of dedicating the most guessed viaticum existing to their beloved (so to speak) "planetman", now ex- "patron saint of the libertines"!

The latter wondered, more than anything, if the earthling musical genius of the 18th century was known on the planet of his new-official consort too… it seemed so, considering the success of the performance, at least judging by the cheers of the participants at the wedding feast that was about to end.

The eventual positive reaction also made him wonder how long those "horned" aliens have kept an eye on them, before that the uruseian higher echelons took the decision of "conquering" the Earth.

Curiously, Shutaro Mendou was wondering about that too and, in very truth, he was even a little surprised of noticing a general surge of sympathy toward the new son-in-law of the commander of that failed expedition.

Okay, most of the Oni people looked forward to their "ex-champion" 's happiness, but they were supposed to feel at least a bit of resentment toward the responsible of their defeat! Unless… since the Earth still was the most complex and chaotic planet in the universe, maybe the uruseians were subtly thanking Moroboshi for having prevented them to put their hands in that damned hornet's nest!

Although, Moroboshi's mind went elsewhere… in fact Brad Fewer has never been all that convinced by the casualness of the choice the notorious U.I.I.C._(1)_ computer made, "drawing" - incidentally - right a male of the same age of the Oni opponent and - all in all - not so physically bad looking,_(2) _among over 4 billions of earthlings present on the Earth at the moment of the challenge.

Besides, the fact that the equivocal proposal of the victorious earthling had been followed by the approval - and even the _blessing_ - of her father, that without hesitation had given his only daughter's hand to the child of a petty-bourgeois family, aroused his suspicion pretty much!

Well, as for the head of the Cerebral, those tiger-striped ogres could make fools of 4 billions and more earthlings, but not him… in fact, when they asked the groom to give a talk after the cut of the wedding cake, Ataru Moroboshi couldn't resist the temptation to get it off his chest.

He looked at his bride, they smiled at each other and stood up.

"Obviously…" Ataru began "…if I said this is the happiest day of my life, I would say a banality. So I won't!" (chuckles) "I've always known I was an average guy… a mediocre guy, maybe…" (silence) "… although - since I'm here wearing this dress" he gazed at his wife "someone has found something good in me!"

He instinctively looked at his parents. His father was calm, slightly smiling. His mother's face was red and tears glimmered in her eyes. Regret?

Ataru roused and continued: "Of course I don't mean the persons who had put up with me from the very beginning of my life didn't appreciate me, in fact I've never felt the absence of my dear parents' affection and care, in spite of my proverbial vivacity…" (more chuckles) "…so I shall take the opportunity of thanking them with all my heart!"

Mr. Moroboshi widened his smile and nodded his head while his wife wiped her tears away and blew him a kiss.

"Not to mention my best friend" the newlywed went on, looking at Shinobu "that has made my childhood and youth years happy, not denying me - if necessary - a few healthy slaps, when my poor mom was too tired to do that herself!"

The wisecrack induced a burst of laughing and Shinobu had to involve the handkerchief as well…

"So thank you, Shinobu! And thank you too, Inaba, for the love you make her feel… and also because I'm sure you will be the loyal partner, for her, I have never managed to become!"

Shutaro Mendo was speechless. What could ever have happened recently inside that guy's head? Really he pretended for years to be a brain-damaged debauched, and then...

"I must also thank the pretty nurse Sakura" she looked at him, her eyes shining "that many times listened, as a good psychologist, to my inner problems, my doubts and my anguishes... like she always did, after all, with my wife's ones" he felt her squeezing his hand "I do believe I'm not mistaking when I say that if we're here, married..." he had to stop and cough: Wolfe and Moore couldn't avoid a lump in his throat "... we owe that to her, more than anyone else. And obviously we can't wait to return her and Tsubame's favour, by being their witnesses!"

The two looked smiling at each other, and then smiled back at the intergalactic couple.

"I particularly thank my dear friend Mendou, for the fundamental help he gave me to express my abrupt proposal" the interested did a good-natured gesture "to my sweet as well as electric half" Gus Percival shuddered and was overcome by an atrocious doubt: did madam Lum bring the yellow ribbon?

"Last but not least... I wish to thank, from the bottom of my heart, my wonderful second-mom" she answered imitating the gesture of the first one "for having given birth to this gorgeous creature...!"

The presents couldn't resist anymore and thundered their applause and cheers... the joy was irrepressible not only for the newlyweds' happiness, but also for the happy find everyone could see with its own eyes: finally, here he is the real Ataru Moroboshi!

Actually, some of them had always thought so (Oyuki, Sakura), others were pleasantly surprised (Benten, Ryoko) and others would have never guessed it (Shutaro, Kurama).

Lastly there were someone who always knew it, and that hurt her quite a lot!

Even if, in the end, the destiny paid her off with Inaba's love, the sweet Shinobu Miyake effectively was the only earthling who personally paid the decision of that corpulent alien commander, that one inauspicious day of four years before, the Moroboshis found in their living room!

The ex-fiancèe of the saviour of the planet would regret not being able to bring out the best that hid into Ataru Moroboshi's soul for the rest of her life: instead that beautiful and lucky alien girl succeeded in the task, coming to pinch him away from her from 12 light-years away… and all due to a computer's whim!

Meanwhile the "pinched" had held up a hand to thank everyone and to ask for silence… and everyone fell quiet, understanding he wasn't done yet. It was time to remove the thorn from his side: he looked at his stern father-in-law.

"Come on: ask him… just ask him!" Brad Fewer prompted him.

"Yeah, do it… in this way we gain a little more time." Humper agreed watching his chronographer. There were just one hour and nineteen minutes to go before the collapse of the ASD number 13.

"To conclude, I wish to thank my dear father-in-law… obviously not for his decision of attacking the Earth, 'cause I would be unpatriotic" (laughs) "but I thank him for having been generous with his little girl and for having conceded her to spend her life with the man she chose herself" said this, he raised his glass "now, nothing left but a toast… not to this happy assembly, 'cause it would be foregone and consequently banal" (more laughs) "and not to someone in particular… but to _something_… more precisely, to an entity that all of us must thank for being here, today, to celebrate this extraordinary event!"

Lum's parents looked doubtfully at each other, then they came back to look at their son-in-law, who Uru's military commander scrutinized with a slightly worried expression…

"Obviously, I'm talking about… the computer that chose the opponent of your champion, for the challenge that would have decided Earth's destiny, drawing me among over four billions of human beings! All these years I always wondered about it" Ataru said, covering the whole room with his gaze "I remember well what my father-in-law told me: _we have chosen a human at random_!

So, why me and not a girl? Why not a ninety years old man? Well, at the time I answered myself: because I am an unlucky beggar! Because nobody tops me at attracting troubles…!"

Everyone listened to him… someone amused, someone worried.

"But now…" he continued, staring his beautiful bride "… now that I know - that I'm sure - I actually am the happiest and luckiest man of the world… or better, of the cosmos" (chuckles) "this hypothesis no longer stands up, so I wonder… no, I'm asking you, _Dad_" he addressed his father-in-law "was it _really_ a coincidence? Should I really be grateful to that computer? Or should I be grateful to someone else, instead…?"

Many moments of silence followed that question. Then, the consulted condescended to answer: "Dear boy… you can't get everything from life" (a few laughters could still be heard) "and I'm afraid you'll have to keep this doubt…!"

Ataru answered, raising his glass: "Okay Dad… after all this is an answer as well. Cheers!"

At that point the shouts of _cheers_ and _here's to the bride and groom_ couldn't stop, while the newlyweds shared another tender kiss that, even if not supported by Percival's Genetic yet, raised Lum's R.C. to 1950 points…!

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1)Uruseian Interspace Information Center._

_2) Despite the "partial" opinions of all his friends and acquaintances! _


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: "Genetic controllers of Ataru Moroboshi, listen up…!"

* * *

Invader's spaceship was taking off to bring the earthling guests back to their home planet. Leaving the newlyweds alone had been a Sakura's idea (Lum insisted it wasn't necessary, but a moderate nod of her new husband had convinced her). The guests, after all, unanimously agreed, especially Shinobu and Shutaro due to comprehensible reasons (reciprocally analogous with Asuka and Inaba's ones). What's the use - the first two thought - of being consumed with regret while the newlyweds would have finally consummated their matrimony? And what's the use - the second two thought - of risking dangerous "jalousie backfires" from the ex-refuseds?

The last dismissal sentences had been the most meaningful…

* * *

"See you soon Shinobu… I love you! And forgive me, for having taken him away from you!"

"Don't trouble yourself, Lum: I don't think it'd have worked for long. Love him for me too, anyway!"

With glistening eyes, the two girls embraced and kissed each other's cheeks, officialising the end of their rivalry once and for all.

Then Shutaro approached Lum and gently squeezed the hand of the woman who would have had a tiny - but considerable - piece of his heart, at least until the only apparently fragile Asuka Mizunokoji hadn't managed to retrieve that piece as well (but she already was on the right track).

Lum felt Shutaro's hand trembling slightly in hers…

"Thank you for your affection, Shutaro… and don't worry: Ataru will make me happy. He is the only one who can!"

"That's all we can hope for, Lum… good luck!"

A few meters away, they were greeting the groom…

"Thanks for having knocked her out of my way!" Ran told Ataru.

"I just returned the favour!" the groom answered to his wife's ex-rival, eyeing her boyfriend Rei.

"Now you can do us a favour" Oyuki told him with gentle but firm voice "make her happy. She's different, but she's a very good girl too!"

"Don't worry Oyuki: if I didn't know, I wouldn't be here!"

"And especially" Benten added with a wink "make sure to make up for lost time!"

"What do you mean?"

"Right THAT meaning…" the 'Lucky Goddess' gave him a good slap under his belt…!

"Geez, what a bang!" Hoffman exclaimed, observing the pain degree on his display.

"That's just perfect! Right what we needed before testing" Percival swore "go easy, _Easy Rider_: they're still brand-new…!"

"Cheer up: you know who you can blame for, in case of trouble!" Racer bantered.

"Thank you so much, Sakura… for everything!"

"Don't thank me, Ataru: I always understood what was troubling you when you came to me… as well as I saw your feelings toward her improving as time went by. You deserved my trust. Now you just need to keep it!"

"I'll do my best." he replied, sighing.

"It won't be too difficult: you just need to stop lying to yourself!"

For the first time, Sakura kissed him… just a peck on the cheek, okay, but still it had been a considerable event! Just like the following one…

"Hi, _cousin_!"

"Hi Ataru… treat Lum right, or else…" Ten puffed up menacingly.

"Roger!"

"Well, I have to go: my mom took an holiday and I'm going to stay with her for a while."

"I'm glad. Oh, one last thing…"

"Yes…?" the little pest said, already turning away from him.

The "cousin-in-law" offered his hand: "Friends…?"

Ten's hesitation lasted only few seconds: "Okay… friends!" he shook his hand and floated away, before tears filled his eyes.

* * *

"We have wonderful friends!" Lum said when the ship was out of sight.

"Yeah…!" Ataru simply replied.

They had retired to the bedroom… the taste of the furniture was clearly eccentric for earthling canons, but it was romantic in its own way.

Used to sleep on the futon, Ataru just hoped (and Hoffman with him) to remember, the following morning, to get down from that considerable height without breaking his back… or what it would have been left of it (another Hoffman's thought)!

"Could you please help me, Darling?" his wifey asked, offering her own back to him.

An adrenaline overload warned Hugh Simons that the zero hour was rapidly approaching. He drew near her, his hands hovered on the dress' collar and there he momentarily froze.

"Well? What's the matter, Racer?" Wellington reprimanded him "didn't you ever undo buttons?"

"Not on a woman, drat…!" the stressed out head of the Motor answered, meddling with the controls that concerned the fingers and starting to undo the lowest button.

"Start from above, you idiot!" the head of the Neuro scolded him.

"Oh, shut up: I'm manoeuvring a runner here, not a waiter!"

"From today on you manoeuvre a husband, if you haven't noticed!"

Burt Racer snorted and resumed the delicate operation, eventually succeeding.

The hesitation she felt in her young companion's hands was the sweetest of the feelings for Lum. It was true the most "randy" boys was the shiest ones, when it comes to the "big step"!

The intention of Lum's Genetic was sliding the dress off her shoulders and shocking her hubby with the sight of his wifey in baby doll… but her Neuro didn't want to deviate the plan they had prepared.

"Thank you, Darling" she said holding the dress that already uncovered her shoulders "I'll be right back!" said that, she entered the bathroom and closed the door.

"Air out, hurry!" Moore, of the Cardiac, ordered.

During that calming expiration, Ataru Moroboshi bitterly mused: *So it's true that we lechers become puppies in front of the bed…!* he mentally swore.

* * *

August Percival, after having exchanged the last instructions with Burt Racer and Hugh Simons, was finally walking through the passageway that would have brought him to his "action station"!

His steps - not too slow, not too fast - echoed through the passage of the Genetic section, almost booming, in spite of the relative softness of the safety boots' soles._(1)_

That reminded him of an American movie their assisted watched together with his classmates - after having skipped class - set in a prison where the death row prisoners walked a long corridor to reach the room where the electric chair was situated. The title of the movie was _The Green Mile_, if he remembered well… poor Gus wondered if that corridor boomed like the one he was walking in that moment!

Once in front of the door, he stopped a few seconds to regain his breath: *Come on Gus: it's just like having an extraction… maybe your colleague inside there is even more scared than you!*

The identification was confirmed and the hatch of the Genetic section opened automatically.

"Yeah, right! She's probably drowning in her own drool…!" he concluded his thought, crossing the entranceway.

Inside, all the technicians of the "Repro" (as their section was called) were already in their seats, in front of the respective consoles. At the sight of their director, they all stood up in unison.

"Sit down, sit down… don't start getting all worked up so soon!"

Once reached his station, Percival sat and glided his stare all over the room… noticing that some joker had hung on the back wall a panel representing the trajectory of the mission _Apollo 11_, but instead of the moon there was Uru, well-recognizable thanks to its "tiger-striped" atmosphere.

On top of that, a second panel on one of the lateral walls showed a picture of Lum, a little less dressed than usual and in a particularly seducing pose. Under her, a writing said _C'mon, earthling baby! _(where the _C_ was well underlined).

On the opposite wall there was a last banner: IT'S TOO LATE TO BE AFRAID !

All the bio-technicians applaused encouragingly their boss… and themselves, before sitting down again!

"We are in good trim down here, aren't we? I'm glad, because you will need that…!" he commented pulling out the register containing the check list. After having opened it, Percival put his head-set on.

The faithful Pitt_(2)_ placed on his desk the usual cup of smoking tea and the head thanked him with a nod. Then he began: "Genetic controllers of Ataru Moroboshi, listen up: give me a GO-NO GO for intercourse. Coronary arteries…"

"GO!"

"Adrenaline…"

"GO!"

"Heart rate…"

"We're, GO!"

"Blood pressure…"

"GO, boss!"

"Internal temperature…"

"GO!"

"Combustive agent…"

"It's GO!"

"Calories…"

"GO!"

"Gastric juices…"

"We're, GO!"

"Testosterone…"

"GO, boss!"

"Erective circuit…"

"NO GO… waiting for power."

Percival shot a quick glance to the counter of the ASD n° 13's lifetime: 4 minutes and 23 seconds to go!

He sighed and continued: "Inhibitor brakes…"

"GO!"

"Transfer fluid…"

"We're GO!"

"Gametes equilibrium…"_(3)_

"GO!"

"DNA reticulum…"

"GO!"

"Prostate…"

"GO, boss!"

"Intersectional communicator…"

"It's GO!"

Closing his eyes, August Percival took a deep breath. He had to swallow a couple of times, before opening them again and approaching his mouth to the communicator's microphone: "Operation center, this is the Genetic… We are go for intercourse…!"

* * *

"Very well, Percival" A1 answered from the operation center "Motor section: what's your status?"

"All the staff is ready" Burt Racer's voice spoke "we are go for foreplay!"

"Good… Mr. Meals: is the Metabolic ready to store the VLF?"

"We're ready…sir!" the consulted answered, his fingers half-broken due to the continuous crossing.

"Okay… are the teams of Mr. Hoffman and Mr. Humper already around the ASD n°13?"

"Affirmative, sir!" they answered themselves.

"Mr. Moore and Mr. Simons: are cardiac and psychic parameters normal?"

"They're alright, aside for a bit of agitation" they answered "but that's well expected, given the circumstances!"

A1 looked quizzically at the head of the Cerebral, who answered: "A _first time_ is a first time… even for Ataru Moroboshi."

"I would have said _especially_, Mr. Fewer!"

The latter shrugged: "You know him better than me, sir."

Chris Wellington, Organic Coordinator of the most lecherous man of the whole universe, shook his head: "No one entirely knows Ataru Moroboshi… neither Ataru Moroboshi does!" finally he raised his head and announced: "Okay guys: We're goin' to Lum…!"_(4)_

_

* * *

_

_NOTES:_

_1) The insulated safety boots that prevented Lum's shocks._

_2) See chapter 10._

_3__) The quantity of x type spermatozoons must be equal to the quantity of y type ones. In your opinion, Lum would prefer having a son or a daughter? (Andy Grim is talking)_

_4) Obviously, if Wellington had directed an __**Apollo**__ mission, he would have said 'We're goin' to the moon!'_


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: "Well? Why isn't it blowing up?"

* * *

Ataru pulled out the brand-new pajamas his mother gave him (at least he thought so: actually it was a gift from Shinobu, but he would have found it out later)(_1)_ and rapidly but carefully checked it over, to make sure no needles had been left in the fabric, causing easily-guessing consequences.

After which he stripped his morning dress off and got dressed with the pajamas as fast as a firefighter would, even his new cousin's mother would have praised him!

He had just done up the last button (Burt Racer was well used to male dresses), when the bathroom door opened and his sweet bride reappeared…

Hugh Simons' sensors registered an abundant spurt of adrenaline that considerably picked up the rhythm of Patrick Moore's pumping station: the young _Mrs. Moroboshi_ presented herself to her mate wrapped up in a nice as well as scanty peach-colored negligee that left her arms and legs exposed . It wasn't excessively transparent, but surely it was enough to disinhibit any much less lecherous male than the notorious Ataru Moroboshi… if only he hadn't those damn devices!

The boy's forehead was instantly covered by beads of sweat and a considerable hot flash crossed his face at the same time. In short, the "goose bumps" were in full gear… but the organism was still completely inert below the belt!

Simons referred on the report that the sensors lights were blinding and the galvanometers of the nervous streams were practically full scale. Moore's Cardiac was already registering 110 beats per minute and the blood pressure was about 150 mmHg… but into August Percival 's section, all the spies of the sensual receivers were off while the galvanometers rested on zero.

Oddly paradoxical for the most lecherous man of all the universe!

"That's incredible" Coordinator Wellington commented "this boy regularly had an erection at the sight of every female aged 13 through 45 years, unless she was absolutely repugnant! Now in front of him there is a girl of formidable beauty and sensuality… and it's like he's _castrated_!"

"It's the power of the SISAS's, sir" Brad Fewer sighed, standing beside him "you have to admit our friend Humper did a really good job!"

"Yeah, I can't deny it" A1 replied, then added "as long as he didn't exceed too much!"

*We will know soon…!* the head of the Cerebral mentally replied. He knew full well that problems _always_ show themselves when the goal is in sight, and because of that, he had a bad feeling about all this.

"You are… really beautiful…!" Ataru whispered to his woman.

She answered with a smile whose sweetness blew at least four of Simons' neuronic circuits, then she went closer to him and put her hands on his shoulders… she stood on the toes of her bare feet (the floor of the room was entirely covered by a soft, and obviously tiger-striped, fitted carpet) and after having closed her eyes she gave him a tender peck on the lips. Soon after, always without uttering a word, she approached the bed and hurriedly crawled under the blanket…

Meals had to order for three swallows to allow for Moore's section to get a fairly regular breathing again!

"Imgo… ehm… I'm going to the bathroom too." Ataru stammered out.

"I'll wait for you… my husband!" his better half answered with tender, starring eyes.

* * *

At Simons' station, the control panels were practically going haywire and the galvanometers continued "metronoming" from zero to full scale… and some of them already got out of order!

"Darn, sir" Rusty Traynor commented, addressing his boss "Moroboshi's sensibility toward the other sex has always been astounding, indeed… but the instruments have never gone this haywire, since we calibrated them to suit his extraordinary lecherousness. And they have never reacted in this way with Miss… I mean… with _Madam _Lum either! How do you explain this?"

"He had never been this close to her… not for such an extended time" the head of the Neurologic answered "it must be the pheromones…!"_(2)_

"But… all females send out pheromones and I don't think that…"

"Yes, but earthling girls are different: it's common knowledge that cosmetics and personal hygiene products contain substances that neutralize moderately the pheromones' efficacy… evidently on this planet they managed to produce cleansings and perfumes that keep the pheromones' full power unchanged!"

"Gosh, boss… let's hope Mr. Percival's INBYs_(3) _will hold up, once the ASD n°13 cease working…!"

Traynor's boss looked at his trusty assistant straight in the face, it looked like he was momentarily reflecting. Then, nodding, he approached the intersectional communicator: " This is Simons of the Emotional!"

"Speak up, Emotional." the operation center answered.

"Mr. Wellington… I think it's appropriate for the neutralization of the SISAS not to happen in the presence of Lum… and that Mr. Moroboshi will need at least a couple of minutes to relax, before re-entering the bedroom!"

"I fully agree, Simons" the Coordinator answered "it's not accident that we're taking him to the bathroom. Mr. Racer" he then said, addressing the head of the Motor "make him immediately take a shower, and make sure the water is cold!"

"Are you joking?" the head of the Cardiac immediately protested "he has never taken a cold shower so far. With today's emotion no less? He could bite the dust!"

"Whatever… okay, Moore. No cold water then, Burt: but keep it as cool as you can!"

* * *

While the "newlywed" was trying to cool his "above-the-belt" ardour with a quick and slightly warm shower, the teams of the Immunitary and of the Sensitive were positioned at safety distance from the coupling position of the ASD n°13: the last SISAS left to inhibit the desire of the most lecherous man of all the universe toward the woman that finally had made him hers… or better, that would have made him hers once that diabolical device had definitively blown up!

"Okay, everyone listen up" Humper said "there are only 40 seconds to go! Since the disintegration of this shunter could result very much more violent than the previous ones, at my signal close your eyes, open your mouth and cover your ears!"

"Alright, Jerry" the head of the Immunitary answered "did you hear him, guys? Get ready!"

While all the technicians carried out the order, the head of the Sensitive approached the communicative terminal on the wall: "This is Humper of the Sensitive!"

"Speak up, Sensitive." The operation center answered.

"We are 30 to C. Tell the Genetic to tight the inhibitor brakes to the full: the reaction could be greater than expected."

"We have already arranged that, Jerry." Percival answered.

"Are you sure it will be enough to avoid an ejaculation?"

"It depends on the intensity of the mnemonic sensual charge Simons is going to overwhelm us with!"_(4)_

"We will try to dull it as much as we can, August." Simons answered from the Neuro.

"Trying won't be enough, Hugh. And be aware that if we waste a surge of STF, we will need at least fifteen minutes to reload!"

"In this case, we will bend over backwards, Gus."

"I'm counting on it!"

"20 to C" Humper announced "the countdown continues…"

* * *

Ataru turned the water off, grabbed a towel and dried off himself.

Then he exited the shower and get dressed again with the pajamas… Fewer ironically remarked that they could have made him wear even just a plain bathrobe, although Simons preferred to follow a "placid" approach: probably the boy would have gone wild enough on his own, once the thirteenth SISAS blasted, exciting him even more with _latin lover_ attitudes wasn't really necessary…!

The neo-husband then approached the sink and gave himself a careful manicure.

After which, since he already shaved before the wedding ceremony, he took toothbrush and toothpaste and began brushing his teeth. After a vigorous brushing, he rinsed his mouth with mouth-wash and finally placed his hands on the edge of the sink, looking at his reflection in the mirror.

"Daaarling…! I'm waaaiting…!" a sensual voice called from over the door.

Never that affectionate nickname, echoed thousands of times through Humper's acoustic sensors, had caused such a strong surge of adrenaline, to the point that it caused an extrasystole at Moore's station!

"I'm coming, Lum… I'm almost done!"

Ataru grabbed a hairbrush and quickly combed his dark brown bangs. He smiled to his reflection: he wasn't so bad, after all!

"Come on, my lad" he said to himself, repeating the statement of his genetic director "after all, it's just like having an extraction…!"

* * *

"10… 9… 8…7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…0! WATCH OUT…!"

The four technicians of the Immunitary and the four of the Sensitive squeezed their eyes tightly shut, covered their ears and opened their mouths as they were told previously…

Other five seconds went by after Humper's announcement of the end of the countdown…

…then ten… then fifteen…

"Well?" Dick Hoffman, the head of the Immunitary, finally spoke up "why isn't it blowing up…?"

Jerry Humper raised his eyes from his chronographer's dial and stared at the last survivor of his hard work, that is to say the _sensual impulse selective auto shunter_ n° 13: the last obstacle between their assisted and the consummation of his marriage with the woman of his (tormented) dreams.

"I don't understand… probably the counter wasn't precisely synchronized with the effective lifetime of the ASDs . It will be surely a matter of seconds…!"

Time inexorably kept flowing…

" … or minutes!" Hoffman sarcastically added, looking at his colleague.

The forehead of the responsible of the Sensitive was already damp with sweat. There was another detail that worried him very much: at that point that blessed shunter should have borne such a load of impulsive energy to make it literally fry like a pan of tempura on the burner… it wasn't supposed to emit just a mere humming (like the one he and the head of the Cerebral heard when the device just had become the only one left)_(5)_, but such a racket to make for the organic members present there almost impossible to communicate… instead the device was absolutely silent!

More then a minute and half had passed from the exhaustion of the ASD's lifetime and, sure enough, August Percival's voice rang again through the intersectional communicator: "Hey, what's the matter…? Why are we still receiving no current to the erective circuit?"

After having swallowed to moisten his parched throat, Humper answered the colleague: "The SISAS hasn't blown up yet, Gus… be patient for a little longer!"

"We are the most patient beings of the cosmos down here, Jerry" the head of the Genetic ironically replied "but I don't know if our colleagues inside the receiver organism are also that patient…!"

The head of the Sensitive wasn't sure what to say, busy as he was trying to keep down the shivers running down his back.

At a certain point a shuffling sound could be heard from the end of the nerve passage, some technicians of the Cerebral appeared, led by Brad Fewer.

"Hey, what are you guys doing?" the latter demanded "the boss is getting really nervous up in the operation center!"

"We don't understand, Brad" Humper immediately answered him, pointing at the SISAS "that damn thing isn't blowing up!"

"What's that supposed to mean…?" the colleague replied in shock, staring at him.

"Or at least it hasn't blown up yet" Hoffman interjected "we think there has been some displacement in the lifetime's counter. That's surely about to happen."

"Well, I hope so" the head of the Cerebral semi-seriously commented "because I wouldn't dare to imagine the _Madam_'s reaction, if we blow her first wedding night!"

* * *

"Darling, what's wrong…?" the sweet voice of his wife called again "aren't you feeling well?"

"That's ridiculous" Chris Wellington swore "these are the kinds of things you ask to _virgin_ young girls… not boys!"

"Evidently the exception proves the rule" Hugh Simons replied trying to smile, but failing "anyway, we can't let him stay into this bathroom forever, sir!"

"Of course not" A1 confirmed, sighing loudly "alright… let's come back into the bedroom. Come on, Burt!"

"Yes sir!" the latter answered, operating on the controls of the lower limbs.

After having exclaimed an unconvinced "Coming…!", Ataru Moroboshi left his momentary "shelter" to head back to the bridal chamber.

He was frightened by what he saw (if you'd told him one day he'd be frightened for such a thing, he would have died laughing): on the blanket of the next intergalactic "battlefield", where the second and more decisive match between Uru and the Earth was about to be played into, inertly laid the sexy negligee that previously covered his woman's body… that obviously meant that she was ready to accept him as naked as the day she was born!

Her beautiful face showed a slightly pink colouring and that proved that his wife was doing her best to contain her uncertainty and her embarrassment, wanting to offer to her husband only her sweetness and her sensuality!

"Welcome back, Darling" Lum said to Ataru with a tone that normally Humper would have immediately analyzed to detect eventual traces of suffused irony if he hadn't been busy with way more serious problems "is everything okay?"

"O… of course… !" the boy answered with an imperceptibly quivering voice.

But everything was not okay. Meals had to order other three swallows to moisten again Ataru's poor throat. Although the _absolute nothing_ he felt in his nether regions was what mostly upset the poor saviour of the planet and conqueror of its failed governoress!

What would that wonderful girl have said, when she had found out she wasn't getting him excited _at all_…?

No, it absolutely mustn't be like this. The destiny couldn't be so cruel with that couple, after having contributed to create it, after having made them meet from two such distant places of the universe…!

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1) Was that maybe to spite her winning rival? Naa... Shinobu's a good girl after all! _

_2) Substances that increase the partner's desire._

_3) Inhibitor Brakes_

_4) 'Mnemonic' because Ataru is into the bathroom and cannot see Lum, into the bedroom._

_Otherwise it would have been a 'perceptive'__ sensual charge, and consequently much more intense._

_5) See Chapter 11._


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: "Genetic, we have a problem!"

* * *

Jerry Humper addressed the colleague of the Immunitary with stressful voice: "Dick, get that net out of my way: I want to take a closer look."

"Are you crazy?" Fewer interjected "Do you want it to blow up right in your face?"

The head of the Sensitive turned toward him: "Brad, I don't think that ASD is going to ever blow up."

"What…?"

"If it be so, inside here there would be such a racket that we couldn't even hear each other… come on, Dick!"

"Right on." The head of the Immunitary pulled a remote out of his pocket and pointed it toward the device. Once pushed the button, the safety cage that surrounded the ASD detached itself from the hooks that hang it on the wall and fell to the ground with a dull thud.

Humper got closer, pushed the cage away with a kick and raised a magnetic fields detector toward the shunter, the same kind of detector the head of the Neurologic used to examine the ASD n°1 when it went out of order at the beginning of the story._(1)_

After a while the head of the Sensitive drew the detector up to his face and carefully examined it, then he pointed it again toward the SISAS: "I don't understand" his two colleagues and their technicians who were still at safety distance heard him murmuring "and yet it doesn't seem broken!"

"What's the matter, Jerry?" Fewer asked, still worried to see that infernal device exploding in his workmate's face.

"Brad, come here… hurry!"

"Coming!" the other answered, catching up with his friend.

"Take me on your shoulders."

"So do you want us dead that bad…! Fewer burst out.

"I told you not to worry. Come on, let me get on!"

Muttering a few unintelligible words, the head of the Cerebral bent forward and stretched his palms out, allowing the colleague to get on him. The latter hurriedly hopped on his shoulders and drew his hands near the shunter's surface…

"But… that's impossible…!"

"What now…?" Fewer asked.

"IT'S COLD!" the colleague exclaimed after having touched it.

"So?"

"_So_? It should be _scorching hot_, fuck dammit…!

"Maybe it's some kind of momentary _reversal effect_? You know, the calm before the storm."

"Stop talking nonsense. I'm telling you this thing is no more saturated!"

"What's that supposed to mean…?" Hoffman chimed in "We have that sex bomb in front of his very eyes: beautiful, hot and naked into the marriage bed… and that thing_ is no more saturated_?

How is such a thing possible?"

"I don't know" Humper answered with hysterical voice "the worst of all this is that I don't even know what to do about it!"

"Well, get down to begin with" Fewer told him "you're quite heavy!"

The colleague quickly obeyed. In that moment, the intersectional communicator's loudspeaker blared Percival's nervous voice again: "For God's sake, will you guys enable us to proceed or what? Simons tells me our friend already has heart-thrilling but at our place senses' peace is still reigning. And the _Goddess of the Ogres_ is waiting! Do you really want to piss her off?" he yelled, always frightened to be victim of the infamous orgasmic jolt.

Humper approached the communicator's microphone with his mouth dry as a desert: "Genetic, we have a problem!"_(2)_

"I've had my suspicions about that. Can we do anything?"

"I'm afraid no… the problem is the SISAS won't blow up!"

One nanosecond later, Humper had to jerk is head away from the receiver to save his eardrums: "DON'T YOU DARE TO JOKE UP THERE, OKAY? IF THAT THING DOESN'T GET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR WAY, WE ARE COMPLETELY IMPOTENT DOWN HERE…!"

"Please, try to calm down August" Fewer interjected "we just need to analyze the situation. We will do it as fast as we can."

"You'd better hurry, for your sake! No, for the sake of us all… because if the madam gets into her head we have tricked her for a second time,_(3)_ this time she will definitively incinerate us…!"

"Brad, we need to come back to the operation center. Dick, you and your team stay here: if something happens, inform me immediately."

"Don't worry, Jerry."

"And do not stand too close to that ASD!" he advised them while leaving.

However it was just a mere formality, since the head of the Sensitive was fully aware that at this point the sudden explosion of the SISAS n°13 was the last thing they needed to worry about…!

* * *

Brad Fewer and Jerry Humper reached the Operation Center at the speed of light, where Chris Wellington and Hugh Simons were waiting for them with a not-so-relaxed look. In particular, A1's look appeared, on the contrary, hotly "thundery"…

"Well…?" He asked them without losing time.

"There is a setback, sir" Fewer immediately answered "it looks like the ASD has difficulty blowing up."

"_What_…?" the head hissed menacingly. And when Wellington the Coordinator hissed, it was a much more frightening occurrence than when he just yells blue murder "I hope you're joking!" he commented looking scathingly at his two subordinates.

Humper swallowed and added: "Unfortunately no, sir… and I fear this is more serious than what it seems. The problem is" at this point the head of the Sensitive looked at the colleague of the Neuro "that the ASD n°13 is acting like it is no more saturated: it's cold and it does no more emit any humming."

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?" Wellington shouted "the previous twelve ones have burned out one after another, with more and more violent reactions. The first ones simply collapsed… and the last ones have begun to even explode!"

"I know, sir. As I explained to you at the beginning, every time a shunter blows up, the survivor ones must bear a sensual charge more and more intense and in fact the MTBF_(4)_ was progressively reducing. I really don't understand…!"

"Are you sure it didn't just go out of order without manifesting external effects?" A1 inquired, trying his best to repress his nervousness.

"Unfortunately yes, since Percival is still receiving no current to the erective circuit!"

Chris Wellington clenched his fists. On the display that registered the current visual perception of the organism there was Lum "maidenly" covered solely by a sheet, with a hand behind her head and the other one lying along her side upon the sheet itself. Her sweet face was showing a smiling expression, even if slightly perplexed… and quite impatient!

"What can we do?" the Coordinator asked with harsh voice, although he forced himself to stay calm. Maybe for the first time the head was trying to help his subordinates, instead of just pushing them to solve the problem by themselves.

"I don't know" Humper answered "we have to analyze the problem, to identify a solution… but it will need time."

"BUT WE DO NOT HAVE TIME" Hugh Simons screamed in anguish, pointing at the visual display "LOOK AT HER: SHE'S RIGHT THERE WAITING FOR HIM! IF THIS TIME WE DON'T MAKE HER HAPPY, IT WILL BE THE END. OF EVERYTHING…!"

"Please, try to calm down, Hugh" Fewer interjected, placing a hand on his shoulder "if the worst comes to the worst, we will postpone the intercourse of a day or two. She waited for him for four years after all… I don't think we have to make a meal of it!"

"You don't want to understand, do you…? Don't you realize this is THEIR FIRST WEDDING NIGHT? We can't just _postpone_ it! What could Ataru say to his BRIDE? THAT HE GOT AN HEADACHE…?

The eyes of the head of the Neuro were nearly popping out of his head.

"Simons is right" Wellington chimed in "we must solve the problem now!" he pointed out curtly.

"To solve the problem now I would need to know why the sensual charge that burdened the shunter is diminished. Without any doubt that's the key to the problem!"

"Diminished…?" the head of the Cerebral asked.

"Of course. That's the only plausible reason why that shunter desaturated!"

"Just how could it be_ diminished_? Before we installed those devices Ataru drooled like a bulldog at the mere sight of Lum's curves! It's impossible she's not exciting him anymore. How can it be…?"

"Oh my God… oh my God…!" Hugh Simons murmured after having cupped his hands over his mouth.

Hearing those words, the two head-section as well as the Organic Coordinator turned toward the head of the Neuro who was pronouncing them since the beginning of his two colleagues' discussion.

Pale like a corpse, Simons finally raised his eyes and looked at A1's face: "Sir…" he whispered in anguish "…forgive me… I think it's all my fault!"

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1) See chapter 1._

_2) Okay, I admit it: I couldn't wait to write this statement. __**Apollo 13**__ rocks! (Andy Grim is talking)_

_3) The first time was when Ataru ran away before pronouncing his "_I so swear_" at his marriage attempt with Lum, after their escape from planet Elle (cfr. with the movie __**Only You**__)._

_4)__ Medium Time Between Failures._


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: "Over to you, Motor: drive her crazy!"

* * *

At those words, the heads of the Cerebral and Sensitive were thunder-struck, while A1 just frowned deeply.

"Explain yourself, Simons!" he ordered, maintaining his harsh tone.

"Well, sir… you see… to enable Mr. Moroboshi to face Mrs. Lum… and finally propose to her as her husband in the most convincing way… I had to emphasize what he felt for her at full blast… allowing him to overcome all the reticence and intimidation he felt toward her. To do this… I had to empower Ataru's sensitivity toward the psychic perception he received due to her presence and her mental image!"

"So…?" Humper asked, already anxiety-stricken, even if still not knowing what his colleague was driving at.

"You see, Jerry… to make sure that Ataru managed to overcome his pride and propose to her, even if just graphically_(1)_… and even ask her to marry him immediately, I've… been forced to take a drastic expedient…!"

"Hugh, stop tergiversating, damn it … just get to the point!" the Coordinator roared.

"I… I…" Simons stammered, staring at the colleague of the Sensitive, not daring to look at the big boss' direction "…I connected the psychic sensors directly with the emotional processor… to make sure it affected Madam Lum's Relational Coefficient more efficiently."

Humper opened his eyes wide and shouted "YOU DID WHAT…?"

"Jerry, try to understand: it was the only way to raise Lum's R.C. in good time and also to make sure Ataru could finally propose to her and marry her before the last ASD ended its life!"

"Hugh, have you gone crazy? Do you realize that by excluding the selector circuits in that way, you absorbed also the sensual impulses coming from Lum? That's why the charge that burdened the anti-seduction circuit is diminished!"

"Just wait a moment" Wellington chimed in "would you mind to translate that to me in a bit more profane terms?"

The head of the Sensitive passed his hand over his face several times, then he built up his courage and answered: "The matter is this: all the mnemonic and perceptive information a subject receives from an individual of the opposite gender who he shares a relationship with are transmitted from the Sensitive to the Neuro… the latter analyzes them with a series of circuits that route part of them to the emotional processor and the rest to the sensual processor of the Genetic… or, in our case, to the ASDs' circuit."

"So…?" A1 pressed on, his glare was becoming fiercer and fiercer.

"So… by routing all the signals toward the emotional processor to increase Lum's R.C. at maximum and excluding in this way the output toward the sensual processor, Simons has practically interrupted the overload of the two last ASDs: the 12th and the 13th.

The 12th eventually managed to get saturated and blown up" he specified looking at Fewer "but the 13th had more time to discharge, returning within the safety threshold…!"

The Coordinator stared at the head of the Sensitive so intensely that almost sent him reeling: "Jerry… you're trying to say that damned thing _won't ever_ blow up…?"

"Yes… I mean, no but…" poor Humper swallowed heavily, feeling his throat burning "… to make it blow up, we need to get it saturated again. And the only way to make it happen in a short time is… a _full _intercourse with Madam Lum. Although, this is impossible with the Genetic still inhibited…!"

"But… excuse me, Jerry" Fewer promptly interjected while observing furtively Wellington's scowl becoming more and more menacing "couldn't we just exclude the whole system?"

Humper turned toward the colleague of the Cerebral with distressed eyes: "Yes, Brad, we could" he murmured with feeble voice "but it isn't something we can do in a few minutes!"

"How long would it take? Say it!" A1 shouted straight out.

The head of the Sensitive closed his eyes and took a deep breath before answering: "it would take between 4 and 6 hours, operating on the central nervous system… it's necessary for the organism to be fast asleep, to avoid causing sensitive damages to the neurons!"

Fast asleep… something that Moroboshi of course couldn't have been, despite his "selfish" past, after having stood his virgin bride up in that manner!

Listening to these dreadful news, Brad Fewer kept scrutinizing anxiously the big boss, waiting for his rage to explode in any moment, he couldn't even blame him for that, given the grotesque dead end they were trapped into.

Evidently that good for nothing Cherry was right: a dark doom would have haunted that poor boy forever. And consequently, his alien consort too!

Unexpectedly, instead of a curse or a raging roar, the Organic Coordinator of the most jinxed (at least at the moment) man of all the universe just smirked and gave a low laughter. Then he addressed his subordinates: "Gents… given the circumstances I have - to my deep regret - to take back what I told you at the end of our last briefing on Earth…"_(2)_

Simons lowered his eyes while Humper tried to protest: "But, sir…"

"AND AS FOR YOU, HUMPER" he continued, pointing his index at him "LET ME TELL YOU YOUR FUCKING ANTI-SEDUCTION SYSTEM IS CRAP…!"

At this point Jerry Humper, the organic member who had consumed his energy the most to solve all the problems that afflicted Ataru's organism during the four years of "forced cohabitation" with the _Oni Princess _(not to mention the previous thirteen), couldn't hold back anymore: "HOW DARE YOU, YOU HEAVY-HANDED SON OF A BITCH? WHEN YOU'VE BEEN THE ONE ORDERING ME TO BUILD IT TO HOLD IN MOROBOSHI!"

At that reaction the boss didn't even bat an eyelid and kept his sinisterly smirking frown, while the other two heads-section had already stopped breathing.

"True" he answered "and now I'm ordering you to get it the fuck outta his way! But not in six hours" then he approached the intersectional communicator "Genetic, this is the Operation Center!"

"Speak up, Operation Center…"

"How long does a rather complete foreplay take?"

After a few perplexed seconds Percival hurriedly answered: "It… it depends on the partner's own characteristics… considering the surely high sensibility of Madam Lum… I believe a foreplay duration between three and five minutes is enough and then…" the head-section swallowing noise was clearly heard "… she'll be ready for penetration!"

"Thank you, Mr. Percival" the coordinator addressed Humper again "did you hear that? I'll give you five minutes. Five minutes, not a second more than that! While the Motor gets the counterpart ready to receive Moroboshi, you will remove the ASD from the Genetic's receivers. At the cost of destroying it!" he concluded, staring at him.

"_Destroying it_? Are you crazy? We can't just neutralize it by force: we might do some irreparable damage …!"

"That's an order, Humper!" A1 pointed out with hissing voice.

"Stick your order up your ass, you hell-bent fool! I'm not going to put the life of this organism in danger."

Suddenly, the distressed head of the sensitive felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning, he saw Simons: "Jerry… do what he says. As responsible of the Neuro, I can guarantee it'll be worth taking the risk…"

"But Hugh…"

"… because if poor Lum gets into her head that her Darling doesn't like her sensually, it will be a real tragedy: he has never seen her crying_ seriously(3)_… and if that happens, _that_ would be an irreparable damage!"

Jerry Humper read in his colleague's eyes all the compassion he felt about the two protagonists of this whole story, mixed up with the regret for the serious setback that, even if in good faith, he caused.

Finally he nodded: "Fine…okay, then. And may God help us!"

"Brad, go with him" Wellington ordered "he'll surely need you."

"Yes sir"

"And as for you, Simons, re-connect immediately the selectors with the psychic receivers, in this way that infernal device will start charging up again."

"Yes sir!"

Said that, Chris Wellington approached the intersectional communicator again: "All sections, this is Operation Center: start the foreplay! It's up to you, Mr. Racer: be exciting but also very delicate. The B_(4)_ condition must last as long as possible!"

"I can make it last as long as the tag game, Mr. Wellington!" Racer joked.

The Boss played along: "Unfortunately, this time I'll give you much less than ten days, Burt. But I know for sure you'll lead us to victory!"

*Here comes the usual grubby emotional blackmail…!* Racer thought, snorting. Although he answered: "Count on us: we'll do the impossible!"

"I'm sure of that. Mr. Percival: keep the Genetic ready to intervene, as soon as you'll receive power."

"Roger that!"

"Good… over to you, Motor: drive her crazy!"

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1) Through the card on the package containing the wedding dress._

_2) See chapter 11._

_3) That m__eans by expressing a real sorrow. The few times Lum cried, during the saga, it had been mostly due to jealousy. _

_4) Petting._


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: "Man, she really is green all over…!"

* * *

The first thing Ataru Moroboshi thought to do was to sit on his half of the bed and contemplating his gorgeous woman… he was stricken by uncertainty.

Lum caressed his cheek, sensing his embarrassment that filled her with tenderness, and said: "You know what? Recently you got better looking!"

"Hon… honestly…?" he stammered.

"Yes, honestly."

"Well… I guess it's harder in your case… since you were beautiful from the beginning."

"Darling…!" she answered, her eyes already tearing.

The boy wiped her tears away with his finger…

"Are you crying?"

"Yes… I'm scared…!"

"Scared…? For…"

"No, not for _that_. I'm scared to wake up tomorrow… and find out I just had a wonderful dream!"

Ataru shook his head: "No. You're not dreaming, Lum: everything is real. From now on, I'll be your husband!"

"Darling…!"

* * *

"Well done, Rusty… keep it up" Simons exclaimed while meddling with a complex circuital panel "I'm almost done!"

Once finished the last delicate work on the components, the head of the Neuro slammed the protection panel shut: "That's that! Now all the impulses coming from Madam Lum are routed to the sensual processor, in this way that doggone ASD will start charging up again… and may I be damned if it won't blow up this time!"

"You mean you completely excluded the transmission to the emotional processor, boss?" another assistant asked.

"There was no more need of that, Greebs" Simons answered "with Madam Lum's R.C. at a height of 1974, it's useless to make him falling for her even more! We will fix everything back after they consummate."

"Let's hope we will remember, sir!"

"I'm counting on you for that, Greebs. From now on, God willing, we will finally assist a normal guy!"

In the meantime Jerry Humper and Brad Fewer were back to the place of the infamous ASD n°13, still guarded by the Immunitary team.

"Any news, Dick…?" Humper immediately asked.

"I think so: that thing started buzzing again!"

"Good, it means Simons re-enabled the selectors. Now the ASD will start saturating again… the problem is it would take it too long to blow up by itself, so we must get rid of it ourselves!"

"In which way…?" Hoffman inquired.

"In any way! But we must succeed before Madam Lum is ready for the intercourse… Racer already started the foreplay."

"Heck" the head of the Immunitary exclaimed "how much time do we have…?"

"Eh, we should ask Percival's colleague!_(1)_ Our Genetic estimated no more than five minutes. That's the time the boss gave me."

"Absurd" Hoffman replied in dismay "we will never manage to neutralize it in five minutes…!"

"Well, I trust that Racer and Simons will be able to give us some breathing space… not much: just a little!"

"But, Jerry…" Fewer chimed in with extreme anxiety "… have you got any idea regard how to do it?"

The head of the Sensitive sighed: "I was thinking of bypassing the device, but it would be too dangerous: deleterious jolts could flow out and affect the nerve circuits. It can't be helped, we just have to put it out of order."

"Okay, but how…?"

"Dismantling it: there's no other way."

"But… if you dismantle it, you'll interrupt the circuit… and Ataru becomes impotent!" Hoffman objected.

"And how do you call his state, right now? Obviously after having done that, I will put a bypass between the two connecting points. Without the condensers' presence, I'll be able to do it safely."

"Then what…?" it was Fewer's turn to ask.

"Once the newlyweds are satisfied and Ataru enter at least the third stadium of sleep, I'll remove all that crappy circuit. And with that we will end this damned story once and for all…!"

"Okay, Jerry… you're great" the head of the Cerebral commented, whacking him on the shoulder "we're in your hands!"

"You're wrong, Brad: we're in Racer's hands, right now! Quickly, Dick: bring me tools and ladder."

"Right away! Guys…" he called, snapping his fingers at his team.

"At your orders , sir!" they answered.

* * *

Burt Racer put his hands on the muscular controls, after having opened the contact with the Genetic section.

"Gus, I'm ready!" he announced.

"Then go, what are you waiting for? The shot of the starter gun?" Percival replied irritably.

"Okay, but… I wonder what should I do first!"

The head of the genetic facepalmed: *Dear God… to think of I spent all this afternoon explaining him. Too much for a good start…!*

He took a breath of air and then shouted: "Kiss her on the lips to begin with, you dork! Then kiss her neck… then go down."

"Down where…?"

*Why me…?* poor Percival swore, fuming "Okay, Burt, I got it…" he then answered, resigned "… I'll lead you. You just make sure to do _exactly _what I tell you to do!"

"Roger. Pilot and navigator: ready to go!"

"Oh, what a bundle of fun…!" the head of the Genetic commented lowly, addressing his assistant Pitt.

"Maybe it's a good thing, sir" the latter whispered back "I think he's just trying to keep the tension at bay: Mr. Racer probably is very nervous!"

"Frightened is the right word!" Percival replied, smirking.

* * *

The softness of Lum's lips was wonderful… they had kissed several times before, but each time that contact sent him more and more into raptures. He reluctantly detached his lips from hers and began to kiss her snow-white neck…

"Mmmh… Darling…!" she moaned.

The fragrance of her skin was overwhelming. At that point, at least half of the Neuro apparatuses were working through safety circuits: as Simons rightly hypothesized, the _Oni Princess_' pheromones, not inhibited by any earthling cosmetic, were working at full power!

It was time to proceed further… but Lum's ample breasts were still covered by the sheet. She gazed into her companion's eyes and whispered: "Come on, Darling…!"

Ataru reached out his hand for the edge of the sheet and hesitated… his limb trembling slightly.

"Come on, Burt: take it away, hurry!" Percival ordered.

"It's all right for you to play the _he-man_, down there" the head of the Motor protested "_you_ don't see her…!"

The other sighed: "How come you didn't have all these problems… when Fewer ordered you to rip off her bra during the race?"

"That was different: the safety of Earth was at stake!"

"Yeah, right… come on, ace: no complaining!"

Racer's "pulling" action slowly uncovered inch by inch the alien's perfect and ample bosom…

"Man" Wellington hissed "it must be a large size at the very least …!"

"Other three circuits have gone out of order, Mr. Simons!"

"Interlock the auxiliary ones, Rusty!"

"Boss, two-thirds of the central system is already working on auxiliary circuits…!"

The other sighed: "I'm afraid I can't do anything about it, my friend."

"Let's hope everything will be ok, sir!"

"Yeah… let's hope…!" the head of the Neuro replied, sincerely worried about what would have happened once Racer uncovered the rest…!

Ataru stared at those marvellous curves in awe, not daring to even touch them.

"Sorry they're not too big!" Lum joked.

"Are you making fun of me? They're gorgeous…!" he whispered.

"So, Burt?" Percival pressed on impatiently "I suppose you know what to do now!"

"I have… I have to make him kiss the… the…"

"Yes, those. Proceed!"

"Shall I begin with the right one or the left one?"

This time the head of the Genetic lost his patience: "Burt, ask another idiotic question like this one and I'm gonna get there and break your face! HURRY UUUP…!

Ataru's lips enveloped one of her rosy and delicious buttons while gently kneading the other breast with his right hand. The boy instinctively tried to such some inexistent milk from the first one… that milk that his mother had never provided him when he was a suckling (the real reason was that she couldn't, but they were disappointed at the Neuro's place and even the Immunitary took it bad).

The sexual pleasure that foreplay was making her feel didn't prevent Lum from sensing all the sweetness of that act. She knew about the milk thing since her now official mother-in-law confided in her just before the departing after the ceremony: "Lum, my daughter… please, give to my son that part of maternal love I've never been able to express to him!"

The daughter-in-law had embraced her and told her: "Trust me, mother…!"

And now Lum thought, caressing his head: *My love… when we will have a child, I hope I will have so much milk to be able, finally, to give you some…!*

* * *

"What's with you, Dick…?" the head of the Cerebral inquired, observing his colleague whacking his palm on his temple.

"Hm… I don't know" Hoffman answered "my ears was ringing!"_(2)_

Fewer didn't comment, turning his attention back on Humper, that was working on the device.

Perched on top of the ladder that the Immunitary technicians provided him, the head of the Sensitive had his lab coat pockets full of tools and was holding a screwdriver between his teeth. With one hand he held an Allen wrench and with the other one he was trying to lever on it with a small hammer, in an attempt to unscrew an attachment bolt.

"How is it going, Jerry?"

"It could be better" he answered, his voice muffled by the screwdriver "I'm going as fast as I can, but these bolts are practically glued!"

"It's your technicians' fault, they're too good workers" Fewer said ironically "if they hadn't tightened them so much…"

"I wish that was the reason" he retorted "I'm afraid the operating current, after all these years, has magnetized them, welding them at the structure."

"Do you think you will be able to unscrew all of them?"

"I'll tell you later…!" Humper answered, concern evident in his voice.

* * *

"Ooohh… Darling… you're awesome…!" his bride exclaimed, focusing her mind on her nipples "now… down… go down… !"

Ataru stopped kissing her breasts and lifted himself up, panting slightly. His trembling hands approached the edge of the sheet again: the time to completely unwrap the candy had finally come!

"Burt, did you hear her?" Percival asked to his colleague of the Motor.

"Yes, but what…"

The head of the Genetic forced himself to calm down: "The sheet, Burt: get rid of it!"

"Co… completely…?"

"Yes, Burt: COMPLETELY!"

The head of the Motor took a breath, then swallowed: "Okay…!" he said, wiping the sweat away from his forehead.

*Without doubt, Racer would have preferred another tag race…!* Wellington thought.

It would be dull and superfluous describing the sensations that the saviour of the world felt while he finished to completely uncover the marvellous body of his young woman… her navel didn't affect him (the scanty tiger-striped bikini always let it exposed, even if more rarely since Lum enrolled at the Tomobiki High and had to wear the school uniform daily) as much as what revealed itself lower down did…!

The moment was characterized by a curious biological event: the thought that crossed Ataru Moroboshi's mind was exactly the same that contemporaneously crossed the mind of the two Organic Council members who had access to the monitor of the visual perception of the girl: Chris Wellington and Burt Racer (Jerry Humper was busy with the SISAS).

*Man…* they thought *… _she really is green all over_…!*

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1) Lum's genetic director._

_2) It's well-known that mothers' natural milk is the best source of antibodies for the baby's immune defence system. That's the reason because Hoffman regretted that Ataru's mother couldn't give it to him. The intention of his wife is self-centered._


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21: "You must lick her down there!"

* * *

Straight after, havoc broke out into Simons' central. The last main circuits of the central nervous system blown up, together with good part of the auxiliary ones. The immediate consequence was a considerable electric jolt pouring out of the panels, followed by a sudden burst of flames…!

"Extinguisher… extinguisher…!" a desperate Simons yelled.

Rusty Trainor quickly obeyed, swamping the psychic panels with a jet of extinguishing lather. Contemporaneously, the head of the Neuro hastened to open a communication with his colleague of the Cardiac: "Patrick… Patrick… how's the situation at your place… ?"

It could have been worse… but we're already at 122 beats per minute and the blood pressure reached 163 mmHg… try to reduce the adrenaline amount as soon as you can, Hugh!"

"I'll do my best, as soon as we will manage to activate the emergency panels. Hold on a little longer!"

"Okay, just hurry up…!"

Simons then addressed his trusted assistant: "Rusty, how's the situation?"

"Critical: the whole central system is relying on the auxiliary circuits… and only half of them are still working!"

"How long does it take to rehabilitate them?"

"We could do it in twenty or thirty minutes. But…"

"But what…?"

"It's necessary for the organism to work its sensual hunger off as soon as possible… only in this way the nervous system will cool down and return to work normally."

"I see… the problem is always that damned SISAS!"

"I know, sir. But I'm the one not seeing: with all the stimulus we have received - all of them routed to the sensual processor - that stupid device should have been blown up for a long time by now!"

"You're right. Listen, I'm going to see what's happening. You, in the meanwhile, keep on aiding the Motor and the Genetic with the foreplay. I leave the show to you, Rusty."

"No problem sir: we'll do our best!"

"I don't have the slightest doubt about that. See you later."

* * *

The racket that came from the emotional center naturally reached also the position of the ASD n°13… Fewer and Hoffman' eyes darted above and the latter exclaimed: "For mercy's sake! What's happening, up there…?"

"I don't know and I don't want to…!" Humper answered, more and more nervous, deep in his fight with the umpteenth bolt.

The head of the Cerebral, that instead wanted to know, approached the communicator and opened an intersectional communication.

"This is the Neuro, Trynor's speaking!" it answered.

"Here's Fewer from ASD n°13. We heard quite an uproar coming from where you are! What's happened?"

Simons' assistant brought his boss' colleague up to date and demanded the same in return. Fewer answered they were doing their best and closed the communication. Then he came back next to Hoffman.

"Well…?" he demanded.

"Hugh's coming here." Fewer answered dryly.

"Okay, but… what's happened at the Neuro?"

"The nervous system has almost gone completely out of order!"

"Bloody hell…! Why?"

"Our friend saw the _green triangle_…!"

Hoffman widened his eyes: "And just what the hell is supposed to be the…"

"OUCH…!" Jerry Humper suddenly yelled.

The head of the Cerebral turned toward him: "I see _you_ did understand…" he nonchalantly commented.

"Next time, try not to say this kind of things while I'm working with tools!" the other growled, scowling at him while sucking his fingers. The other couldn't even apologize that Hugh Simons appeared, panting for the run.

"Guys, there's an emergency!"

"Another one? Well, one more doesn't really matter at this point…!" the head of the Cerebral sarcastically commented.

"Quit joking. The matter is serious: the central system is breaking down!"

"No wonder, after what the dude saw…!"

"Brad, cut it out!" the head of the Immunitary scolded him.

"Thank you" the head of the Neuro annoyedly replied "the point is that if we don't make him vent soon, things are going to become nasty! He could even get a violent depressive fit… if you know what I mean!"

"We know what you mean very well. Now try to explain that also to that fucking device!" Fewer retorted, pointing at the ASD behind him with his thumb.

"GODDAMMIT…!"

Jerry Humper's hysterical shriek was followed by the clattering sound of a wrench tossed to the ground by the head of the Sensitive. His three colleagues stared at him… he was exhausted: his forehead was glistening with sweat, his breathing was labored and his hands were bleeding.

"I can't do it, guys… this son of a bitch is not going to yield! It's impossible…!"

"Jerry…!" Fewer exclaimed.

The head of the Neuro approached his colleague and looked deep into his eyes: "Are you really sure? Isn't there _anything_ we can do…?"

"I'm afraid no, Hugh… I managed to unscrew all the bolts of the structure, except those that contain the connection cables. They must have been magnetized for good!"

"Dammit!" Fewer exclaimed.

"What if… we neutralize them with the antibodies-guns?" the head of the Immunitary asked.

Humper shook his head: "It would be useless, Dick: this thing is not a foreign body!"

"What the hell" Simons snapped "we can't surrender like this! If the bolts aren't going to unscrew, let's use the welding torch, for Shinto's sake…!"

"Are you crazy? The welding torch inside here? Forget it" Hoffman categorically replied "do you want to make him go into a coma?"

"Well, if you prefer making him fall into depression…!"

A few distressing instants of reflection passed, then Brad Fewer raised his eyes from the floor and asked: "What about using acid?"

"Acid…?" Hoffman replied.

"Yes… to corrode the ducts!"

"Aah, I don't know… I'm afraid no acid coming from this organism could melt those cursed cables… right, Jerry?"

The latter was sit on top of the ladder and kept his eyes fixed on his colleagues. His hands were bandaged with a handkerchief, stained with the blood of the abrasions caused by that frenetic as well as useless work.

"No acid… coming from _this _organism…" he whispered.

"Jerry… are you alright…?" a worried Fewer asked him.

"I'll be damned…!" the head of the Sensitive exclaimed. Straight after he jumped down the ladder and reached the communicator "Genetic, this is Humper!"

"Here's Genetic. Percival's speaking!"

"Gus, hurry up and tell me: the VLF contains acid, right?"

"Of course! And a strong one, no less. Even if innocuous for the organism's gastric apparatus."

"Are you sure of that?"

"Yep. I went to a great deal of trouble to reassure Meals about this detail!"

"Although… it is very corrosive for the other parts, isn't it?"

"More than sulphuric acid. Tell me, Jerry: what are you driving at?"

"At getting that SISAS out of your way, that's what I'm driving at. Gus, I need the VLF… now!"

"Then ask Burt: he's the one who can get it for you, right now!"

"Alright. Give me the Motor."

After a few seconds, the voice of the interested man spoke: "This is Racer from the Motor!"

"Burt… how far have you gotten with the foreplay?"

"We're going to kiss her navel…"

"Speed up: I need the VLF."

"Excuse me…?"

Humper took a deep breath: "Vaginal fluid, Burt… I need it! You must stimulate her… her… come on, you understood, right…?"

"Not at all."

Brad Fewer and Hugh Simons facepalmed while Hoffman shook his head. The head of the Cerebral then remembered with dismay that the colleague of the Motor hadn't been informed at all about that detail!_(1)_

"Oh dammit, Burt… YOU MUST LICK HER DOWN THERE! GOT IT NOW…?"

The statement was followed by a few silent seconds, after which Brad Fewer, moving his fingers away from his left eye, asked: "Did he understand?"

"Did you understand, Burt?" Humper repeated into the communicator's microphone.

After other few seconds, finally the feeble voice of the head of the Motor spoke: "Yeah… I think I did understand…!"

"Good… then do it!" the head of the Sensitive ordered.

"Coul… couldn't I avoid…?"

"BURT, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE… HURRY UP AND TAKE THAT STUFF OUTTA HER OR WE'RE FUCKED…!"_(2)_

The winner of the infamous race that saved the Earth from Uru's dominion finally convinced himself that protesting was useless… then obeyed.

"Motor to Sensitive…" he answered with low voice "… roger. I'm proceeding…!" and thought: *If fate wants it to be like this… be it so!*

In the same instant, Humper opened the communication with the other section involved in the next move: "Metabolic, this is Humper. Larry, do you copy…?"

"Clear and distinct…!" Sweeper Meals tentatively answered.

"Good. As soon as the VLF spills out of Lum's vagina, be ready to suck it all. Be careful, Larry: don't let a single drop go to waste!"

"But… but… you grant me it's not going to burn the esophagus… right…?"

"Don't worry, Larry: your apparatuses won't be minimally affected. Wait for me, I'm coming there.

"Jerry, what shall we do?" Fewer asked.

"Nothing, for now. Dick , order your technicians to ready three or four antibodies-guns… unloaded!"

"Okay. Then what?"

"Then wait here. I'll see you as soon as possible."

"Alright! Good luck, Jerry!"

"Good luck to you too. We all are going to need it!"

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1) That it was necessary to provide the VLF to obtain the notorious catalyzer that would have changed Ataru into a loyal husband._

_2) Really, it was quite the opposite! XD_


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22: "Hell… she wants to see him naked!"

* * *

The (momentarily) less lecherous guy of all the universe stopped kissing his princess' pretty navel and lingered over the wonderful nexus underneath it…

"Evans, how's the situation…?"

"Heartbeat: 71 per minute… blood pressure: 170 mmHg, Mr. Moore."

"Gosh… if Hugh doesn't hurry up, we're gonna risk an heart attack!"

Ataru's forehead was now completely soaked with sweat and his chest was practically shuddering with spasms… so Lum offered a providential suggestion: "Are you hot, Darling?"

"Ye… yes… a little…!" he answered, gasping for air.

"Take off that pajama, then…" his wife whispered, smiling.

Despite she was manifestly seething with impatience, Lum was forcing herself to accept her partner's own rhythm: the members of her Organic Council probably noticed that their colleagues of the counterpart had a few problems to fix!

Although Hugh Simons and Gus Percival weren't so dumb not to see, behind that "practice suggestion", the girl's ill-concealed desire of being paid back for the view she offered to her hubby before… it wasn't so difficult to figure out: even Burt Racer got that: "Hell… she wants to see him naked!"

"Was he expecting something else?" Pitt whispered questioningly to his boss, while the latter shook his head.

"You're making progress, Burt" he then sarcastically confirmed "you hit the jackpot!"

"Dammit… I knew it was going to end up like this!"

"Don't discuss the fairness doctrine… come on, ace: the _lustful ogress _wants to look at the uncensored version of her prey!"

"Stop razzing me!" Racer snapped, exaggeratedly embarrassed, while the controls of the limbs slipped under his sweaty hands.

Taking off the top was pretty difficult… the bright red colour that Ataru's face was showing clearly indicated the boy had almost risked the suffocation.

Fortunately the direct exposition of the epidermis to the surrounding air soon allowed a better transpiration and the consequent drop of the inner temperature allowed the Neuro to rehabilitate several auxiliary circuits and a few primary ones (all to the Cardiac's advantage).

"Mr. Moore: the heartbeat dropped to 64 and the blood pressure to 169."

"Good… that means Simons managed to reduce the adrenaline amount" the visibly relieved head-section commented. Then he added under his breath "just in time…!"

But the relief of the technicians of the Cardiac was short-lived, because Racer, with inhuman efforts, was taking off Ataru's pajama pants!

The boy was sitting on the bed , in front of his partner… slipping the rubber-banded edge down his hips and past his knees had been relatively easy, but the piece of clothing still had to be removed from the boy's legs… and probably Racer would have never succeeded in doing that without the help of his colleague, inside Lum, that made the girl grab the opposite side of the edge Ataru was holding: a tenth of a second later the poor garment was sent to keep company with the fitted carpet on the floor!

* * *

"A naked man in front of a woman doesn't see a woman: he sees a ruler!"

This statement, that Perm_(1)_ pronounced some time before during one of their first conversations about sex, was unfriendly booming among Ataru's neurons… and Fewer, momentarily out of position, couldn't help at all.

He was there, sit (maybe _curled up_ is the right expression) on the marriage bed, like the new Mrs. Moroboshi has previously done, exposing himself at his better half's stare!

Burt Racer wondered how his assisted was feeling like in that moment… as for him, he felt like his arms were weighting a ton. Ah, how he missed those pretty tag races…!

He heard A1's voice through his headset: "Come on… make him get out of bed and standing!"

"But, sir… are you sure?"

*Oh my God…!* Gus Percival thought while passing an hand over his face, expecting the umpteenth bluster from the Coordinator. Instead, Ataru's "pilot" got lucky since Wellington chose to adopt a more paternalist attitude: "Would you rather for her to open his legs by force? Make him stand, that's an order!"

No sooner said than done, the saviour of the blue planet found himself being "admired" by his alien conqueror… feeling much more at ease than he would have expected, all things considered. Probably the "breathing space" gained with the strip and with the hesitation of the Motor allowed the Neuro to rehabilitate another piece of the central system!

"I wasn't wrong" Lum declared "you got a lot better looking!"

After having swallowed for at least three times, Ataru replied: "due to you… by constantly running away, I kept fit!"

She giggled, then she leaned comfortably against the pillow settled on the headboard of the bed and slowly pulled her legs apart…

"The primary circuits 4, 5 and 6 burned out again, Rusty!"

"Goddamn shit" Hugh Simon's coadjutor swore "I had just rehabilitated them!"

The _Oni Princess_ raised her right hand and beckoned her all-desired partner with her index: "Come here, my love… come to your Lum…!"

"Come on, Burt" Percival said "and try not to make him staggering!"

"Can I at least make him clench his fists?"

"No: make him relax!"

*Relax, yeah, right… like it depends on me and not on Simons!* Racer mentally muttered, while making him move forward.

The Coordinator, now fully informed about Jerry Humper's plan_(2)_, immediately addressed Fewer that had just came back into the Operation Center: "Brad, be careful: if Madam Lum demands to be taken straight away, you'll have to think up something!"

The head of the Cerebral nodded nervously, even if at that point he was afraid he was running out of ideas… fortunately (maybe Cherry was sleeping) there was no need to worry: getting rid of the last shreds of decency, Mrs. Lum Moroboshi pulled her legs a little wider apart and rested her hands on her lap.

"Come on, my sweet rascal… lick it!" she exclaimed, parting her nether lips with her fingers, sending the coldest shock up his back that her husband had ever felt in his life. Nonetheless, inside the Operation Center, Wellington and Fewer sighed with relief.

"It's done" A1 exclaimed "here we go, finally!"

"For a moment I feared the worst … !"

"Me too… probably the bad luck got tired of hounding us!"

"Maybe. Although…"

"What, Fewer…?"

"… I'm more and more _unconvinced_ about the casualness of the result of that pesky computer!"

The Coordinator was perplexed , then he realized the thoughts of his subordinate and nodded, smiling: "Do you think that's still important, at this point?"

"No, sir… I think it isn't!"

After having gotten again on the bed, he approached the bifurcation formed by his companion's gorgeous legs, then he laid on his stomach, drawing his face up to her pulsing womanhood, already wet due to the previous foreplay.

"Come on, Darling… lick it… lick it…!" she incited him.

Slightly surprised that his young woman didn't want to be taken straight away, Brad Fewer wondered if the co-worker Simons possibly managed to send a sort of telepathic message to his colleague inside Lum, obtaining in this way that request that corresponded perfectly with Humper and Percival's needs. Once things are done, he would make sure to ask him!

After having voluptuously inhaled the aphrodisiac essence of her sex (action that burned out all the primary circuits the tenacious Rusty Trynor managed to rehabilitate till then) the stalwart Ataru placed his hands on Lum's thighs and began to finally taste that wonderful forbidden fruit, savouring all the fragrance of it, while those juicy little lips were getting wetter and wetter.

"Darling… hah… hah… you're so good… hah… mmmh… more… more…!"

The boy (or better, the head of the Motor that seemed to have overcome his fear) didn't need to be told twice and kept on working with that noteworthy tool into Ataru's mouth, in anticipation of putting in motion the one situated between Ataru's lower limbs!

The _Oni Princess_ was literally going insane… she started moving her hips rhythmically, while her fingers dug into her partner's scalp.

"Let's hope she won't tighten too hard!" Fewer observed, worried for the cranium.

"Yeah… let's hope…" the colleague of the Genetic replied, worried for quite another thing…

It wasn't long before the girl, now properly fixed, pronounced the second and ultimate request: "Darling… mmmh… you're awesome… my love… hah… now… now take me… take me already…!"

* * *

Brad Fewer blatantly breathed out the air he had previously cashed in: "Here we go…!" he said.

"Yeah" A1 confirmed "we'd better examine the situation!"

Once approached the intersectional communicator, he contacted the place of the infamous ASD n° 13: "Hoffman: du you copy?"

"Clear and distinct, sir!" the head of the Immunitary answered.

"How are things going…?"

"The device is emitting a quite loud humming and it's giving off a discrete heat… but it doesn't look like it's gonna explode, for now!"

"Continue to keep it under control and inform me about any news. Brad" he then addressed the head of the Cerebral "you'd better go back there: perhaps Humper and Hoffman will need some help, when the time comes."

"I'm going!"

"Good… and you, Mr. Racer, go for it: that damned liquid must come out as soon as possible!"

"I'm doing my best here, Mr. Wellington!"

"That's not good enough: you must make her come, don't you remember?"

"Of course _I remember_… but _how_…?"

At that point Percival chimed in: "You're dumber than an ameba, Burt. You just need to follow my instructions, fool!"

"But we're already lapping her…"

"That was the phase 1, stupid. Now you must switch on phase 2!"

"Ah, right: the phase 2…" Racer replied, starting to be on strike again "… phase 2…"

"YOU IDIOT: STIMULATE HER CLITORIS, FOR PETE'S SAKE…!" the head of the Genetic yelled, now mad as a wet hen.

"Got it, the _clitoris_! Okay, the clitoris… what the hell is supposed to be…?"

"IT'S THAT LITTLE BUTTON ABOVE, YOU MORON!"

"Ah, right…!"

"And be careful, it's very sensitive: pass the tongue over it a few times and then make him kiss it!"

*Jeez, listen to what this sleaze is saying! And he said he was embarrassed about this…!* Racer told himself while nervously maneuvering the jaw's controls *I swear, if this raving she-devil challenges him to play tag again, I'll make Gus sit on this armchair…!*

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1) That's not true: I lent this statement to him. However, it's just a wisecrack, not a personal conviction of mine (note for the she-readers)! (Andy Grim is talking)_

_2) About the necessity of assuming the__ vaginal lubricant fluid to neutralize that "tough" ASD and allowing so the intercourse._


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23: "It's the worst thing that could happen to the responsible of a male Genetic!"

* * *

At the Hepatic Center, the small team of the Metabolic section, captained by _Sweeper _Meals, was waiting anxiously by the fourth_(1)_ sampling valve, designed for the exam of substances not conforming with nutrition. At some pointthe meager group of metabolists was joined by the head of the Sensitive.

"Well, Jerry…?" Meals immediately addressed him.

"It's almost time, Sweep: Burt is going hard at it!"

His colleague shook his head: "It mustn't be easy for him…!"

"Well, you know what? I was worried too, at the beginning. But given what I heard over the last minutes, it seems he's managing just fine, judging by Madam Lum's moans! After all, our pilot has always been capable of rising to the occasion."

"I agree. Sure there has been a real revolution inside here, over the last week! Don't you find it absurd?"

"What?"

"Well, I mean… all these troubles to obtain what the boy could have had from the very beginning…"

Humper smiled: "A cook can taste his own dishes way better than a simple diner."

The perplexed head of the Metabolic frowned: "Would you mind to translate?"

"That's simple, Larry: what kind of enjoyment would have felt Ataru in flinging himself on Lum? Even if they say women choose their partners and not the other way around, men need to believe they're the ones conquering their companions. Or maybe just deceiving themselves they do that, if you prefer!"

"Maybe you're right" the other replied, shacking again his head "but judging the way Mr. Moroboshi used to hate that Oni at first, I would have called crazy anyone who had told me one day they would have gotten together!"

"But Larry" his colleague replied, still smiling "Ataru has never hated Lum! He got pissed at her because he couldn't stand her way to take everything for granted. Personally, I justify her because, all in all, she was still a young girl… if she had used a little more slyness and mischievousness, though, I bet they would be married for years by now! You know what her problem was? She was too direct with him!"

"Unbelievable. I've always considered her a truly diabolical female!"

"That's because you judged her only for her cooking side!" Humper commented, laughing.

"So, what?" muttered Meals "it was my job, after all. And, speaking frankly, I strongly hope things are gonna get better especially on that side!"

"Cheer up, Sweeper" his colleague kept snickering "have confidence!"

*This is a matter of _faith_, not confidence…!* the other mentally observed, still unconvinced.

* * *

"Daaaarliiing…! Ammh…! You're wonderfuuul…! Mmmh…!" Lum screamed while her man's lips enveloped her clitoris, sending her into unthinkable raptures. The problem was that, among all those even undeniable appreciation confirms, another kind of performance kept being demanded…!

"Mmmh… hah… hah… that's enough…honey… come on… take me… mmmh… do me…! Darling, hurry… please…!"

Those desperate prayers were cruelly fraying the nerves of that "fake puritan" August Percival, still impotent (pun intended) at his station. Unfortunately the galvanometer connected to the erective circuit continued to rest motionlessly on zero!

"It's atrocious" the poor man whimpered, clenching his fists to his temples "I can't take it…!"

"Come on, boss" the devoted Pitt tried to comfort him "hold on!"

"If this deadlock's not gonna break soon, I'll risk a heart attack here! It's the worst thing that could happen to the responsible of a male Genetic: not being able to satisfy the partner of an assisted organism!"

"Our impotence is just momentary, sir: soon Mr. Humper will get that damned device outta our way!"

"I just hope he hurries up…!" his boss sighed.

Pitt placed a hand on his responsible's shoulder.

*Poor Mr. Percival* he thought *and here I thought until today that he was afraid of Madam Lum, he couldn't wait to make her happy instead. I think that only Mr. Sandusky has had a worse kind of experience than this one: if there's something worse than having your own section inhibited, that's surely seeing it disappear!*_(2)_

Meanwhile, the implacable Burt Racer continued to make Ataru's tongue work its magic on Lum's clitoris…

"AMMH… DARLIIIING… PLEEEASE… HAH… I BEG OF YOUUU… STICK IT IN MEEE! HURRYYY…!

Even Jerry Humper, who was waiting at the Hepatic Center, wasn't enjoying the screams coming from the bride…

*I'm sorry, princess* he told her, naively hoping that his thoughts could reach her *but you have to come in his mouth, first, if you want to lose your virginity together with him… come on, Lum: just a little bit more!"

Hugh Simons' team wasn't having it any better. At that point the integrity of the central nervous system was depending on the remains of the safety network: the untiring Rusty Trynor had stopped bustling uselessly, since by the time he repaired a circuit, other two blown!

"MMMHHH… HAH… ORG… DAAARLIIING… TAKE MEEE… WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOOOR…?

Trynor addressed his head-section, observing: "She won't last much longer!"

"I hope so…!" Simons whispered subtly.

"OOORGH… AMMMH… ATARUUU… I CAN TAKE NO MOOORE… I'M GOING INSAAANE…! I… I… I'M COMIIIING…!"

Finally, after all that struggling, a warm spurt of snow-white nectar gushed out of the girl's sex…

"Burt, hurry: suck it… suck it!" the Coordinator shouted.

The head of the Motor, now "weaned" and ready at the controls, put the mouth in position… then, with a last, firm move, he brought Moroboshi's lips adhering to the small ones of the rosy, quivering nexus of the Oni girl.

Not a single drop of lubricant fluid - except the ones that already spilled out - was lost, instead, they were all going down the gastric passage!

* * *

"Yeah… good, got that. We're ready." Jerry Humper switched off the intersectional communicator and addressed Larry Meals "You may open the sampling valve, Sweep: The VLF is coming!"

"How much should I open it?" he asked.

"Completely: we must take it all!"

"Good!" the head of the Metabolic approved, since he wasn't enthusiast at the thought that even a tiny quantity of that "disturbing" substance could be put through the digestive system!

He gestured for one of his technicians to hand him a special hermetically sealed container and, after having opened the lid, he inserted the spout into the valve. At some point a red spy at a short distance started flashing.

"Here it comes!" he announced.

A few moments later the container started filling… Meals thought he had been provident in using a fairly capacious container! Although, when the liquid reached the two thirds of its capacity without any hint of slowing down, he began to get slightly worried: "Heck… just how much of it does that randy female have?"

"You'd better close the valve, Larry."

"I don't like the idea of making him digest it…!"

"Don't worry: better this than corroding the walls of the gastric passage."

"Fine!" his colleague agreed, working on the faucet and blocking the lubricant flow. Then, he hurriedly closed the lid of the container and passed it to Humper "Here, quick: this stuff is creeping me out…!"

"I know what you mean" the other said "we've always been a bit scared of _her_… but I feel confident that all this is about to end!" he lifted the transparent container up to his face and contemplated that substance, not too fluid, not too creamy and white as snow "Here it is… finally, here's the solution to all our troubles!"

Larry Meals replied with a question that, even regarding his labour camp, sounded quite idiotic in that moment: "I wonder how does it taste like…!"

Humper looked at him with a puzzled expression: "Shall we try it?"

"Are you nuts…?" Sweeper screeched, scandalized.

"Well, in that case you can always ask your collaborators up in the Taste center!"

After a moment of hesitation, the head of the Metabolic nodded: "Good idea!" then contacted the team in charge of the control of the papillary sensors: "This is Meals: give me an analytical report on the introduced substance…"

The answer arrived after a few seconds: "The taste is sweet and delicate, slightly acidulous… comparable with lemon-flavored yogurt."

"I see…" Meals answered, his face red as a ripe plum "… thanks, Chip!"

"It present also faint banana undertones…"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" the head-section cut-short, ending the communication. Then he looked at his colleague of the Sensitive "It seems innocuous enough, everything considered!"

"See? I told you, but you didn't believe me!"

"Hindsight fills the throats!"

"_Throats_? You mean graves!"

Before Meals could answer, the voice of the still-virgin consort resonated again through the intersectional circuit: "DAAARLIIING… I WANT YOUUU…! WILL YOU TAKE ME OR WHAT…?"

"You'd better bring that stuff to Dick, before things get nasty!" Meals observed.

"You're right: I almost forgot that! See ya later, Larry."

* * *

At the place of the infamous SISAS n°13, Dick Hoffman and Brad Fewer were impatiently waiting the return of their colleague while witnessing, with both concern and relief (sure it was an odd feeling), the rapid re-saturation of the shunter that was now emitting a fairly strong noise and also the heat it was irradiating could be clearly felt around it. Although, the damn device held unfalteringly in place.

"Sure it's tough!" Fewer commented.

"Yeah! I wonder if we should have invited Lum's organic complements inside here: maybe, thanks to their advanced technology, they would have solved the problem faster!"

"Maybe… but they would have demanded to kill poor Jerry, afterwards. I don't think it was the case…!"

"They will find out anyway, sooner or later!" observed Hoffman.

"I hope they will not. Otherwise, I really doubt we will ever take off these damn boots!" the colleague of the Cerebral declared, lifting his foot emphatically.

"ATARUUU… DAMN IIIT… DO MEEE... HURRYYY…!"

"We'd better face one problem at a time" he added, wincing at Lum's screaming "C'mon, Jerry! What's taking you so long, damn you…?"

"I'm afraid Madam Lum's getting pissed off. I hope she won't decide to zap us on purpose right now that we are all down here, just to humor Gus!"

"If that happens, dear Dick, I'm afraid poor Percival won't be able to express his bitter satisfaction… and we couldn't hear him either too!" Hoffman shuddered.

"Guys, I'm here!" the voice of the head of the sensitive finally called from the end of the passage, he soon appeared carrying the precious container. One of his assistants came along with him equipped with a briefcase while other two were carrying tools and a tick electric wire.

"It's about time, pal. Madam Lum came ages ago: can't you hear her yells?"

"I'm not deaf, Brad. This thing's heavy!"

"It must be a high specific-weight liquid!" observed the head of the Immunitary.

"Who cares! Are the antibodies-guns ready?"

"Yes, right here." Hoffman answered, gesturing for his assistants.

"Good… fill the barrels with this stuff, hurry!"

Without losing time, the Immunitary technicians loaded their weapons with the _Oni Princess_' precious lubricant fluid.

"Now what?" asked Hoffman.

"Very simple: set the jets at full blast and aim to the ASD's conductors."

"On it!"

"Be careful: only on the conductors. Try to avoid the casing as much as you can: it's better not to risk dangerous collateral effects!"

"For example?" Fewer inquired.

"If I knew, I would tell you!"

The other fell silent and clasped his hands behind his back, keeping his fingers crossed.

As soon as the Immunitary team was ready, their boss asked: "Shall we proceed…?"

"Wait" Humper told him, beckoning for his assistant with the briefcase to come.

The man opened it, showing its content to everyone: protective masks.

"Put these on, first: otherwise the liquid's odour will knock you down!"

The others hurriedly obeyed, their colleagues of the Sensitive following suit.

"We too, Brad, quickly!"

"Roger."

"Once put the mask on, Humper contacted the Genetic: "Gus… do you copy?"

"Clear and distinct! How far have you gotten…?"

"We're ready to neutralize the shunter. You should receive current to your apparatuses soon."

"We've been ready for hours down here, Jerry!" answered his colleague, with a slight polemical tone.

"I know, Gus. Be patient a little longer!"

"ENOUGH WITH THAT MOUTH, DAAARLIIING… GIVE IT TO MEEE…! I WANT IIIT…! I WANT IT INSIDE MEEE…!"

"You hear her…?" Percival demanded with hysterical tone.

"Yes, I hear her" the colleague retorted "just get ready!" he closed the communication. Then he came back next to the head of the Cerebral and gave the go-ahead to the Immunitary squad.

"You ready…?"

Four antibodies-guns were pointed, two towards the shunter's reception cable and two towards its transmission cable.

"Ready!" they answered.

The right arm of the head of the Sensitive dropped violently down: "FIRE…!"

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1) It figures._

_2) Percival's counterpart into Ranma Saotome's organism. Igor Sandusky is the only male genetic director that had the chance of verifying his theoretical knowledge from the inside of a real female genetic. I don't think I will write other organic fanfictions aside this one and the one on __**Saint Tail**__…but in my (mad?) fantasy, Sandusky's team managed to get the hell out of their center just in time, immediately after the fall into __Jusenkyo's Cursed Springs. If they were disappeared together with their "external" Repro (the scrotum, to say it out loud) they would have probably appeared inside the new female "internal" Repro! However, that story made Sandusky a true luminary of __gynecology and he became the most consulted genetic responsible among many male organisms.__ (Andy Grim is talking)_


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24: "Let your body melt in mine…!"

* * *

Four high-pressured VLF bursts hit the two edges of the ASD n°13, producing a thick cloud of smoke accompanied by a fair quantity of sparks…

"Let's hope it's going to work…!" said Brad Fewer.

"It must work…" Jerry Humper replied, clenching his fists "…_it must_!"

"Of course it must…" Hugh Simons pointed out "this is our last chance!" he concluded in a whisper.

"Separating them like that… we've been a bunch of idiots" the head of the Sensitive spoke again "if their love story ends up bad, I will never forgive myself!"

The colleague of the Cerebral, not knowing what the result would have been, felt the urge to say something to his friend: "Stop blaming yourself, Jerry: it wasn't your idea, after all!"

"Also dropping the atomic bomb hadn't been Robert Oppenheimer's idea" the creator of the ASD retorted "but he realized it, nonetheless!"

"Yes, but…" unsure about what to say, Fewer tried the first thing that came up to his mind. Failing. "… if he hadn't done it, maybe someone else would have!"

"Indeed" Humper countered back, just before his colleague realized he had said a really stupid thing "inside here, though, I was the only one able to create those damned devices. And while someone creates weapons, someone else is going to use them!"

At that point the head of the Neuro chimed in, placing a hand on his shoulder: "Look at it this way, Jerry: the time your SISAS's gained, avoiding for Ataru to pounce on Lum by obeying to his instincts, served to make him fall in love for her. If Ataru satisfied his sexual appetite with Lum right from the start, he might have got tired of her, sooner or later. But now…"

Humper smiled gratefully at him: "Thank you, my friend! However things go, I'll be always beholden to you for these words."

"Sir, there's a calling for you" one of his technicians informed him "on the communicator!"

"This is Humper…"

"Jerry, it's Wellington. How are we going…?"

The subordinate swallowed: "We're attacking the shunter with the VLF, sir. Unfortunately I'm not able to give you any detail about how long it's going to take for it to give way… I can just report it's reacting quite violently!"

"Humper, do you realize or not we have no more time to tergiversate?"

The other sighed "I know, sir. I can just recommend to persist with the foreplay, allowing the shunter's sexual charge to rise and so contributing to its collapse."

"Jerry, at this rate, the shunter won't be the one collapsing… Percival will!"

The head section sighed again, closing his eyes: "Let me talk to him for a moment!"

A few seconds later, the desperate voice of the head of the Genetic reached his ear: "Goddammit, Jerry! Will you get that damned electronic chastity belt outta my way?"

"We're doing our best, Gus. Try to resist other two or three minutes!"

"WE DO NOT HAVE TWO OR THREE MINUTES, HOLY BLOODY FUCKING HELL! AND TWO OR THREE SECONDS NEITHER: MADAM LUM DEMANDS TO BE TAKEN. NOW…!"

Jerry Humper racked his survivor brains, appealing for the mental faculties he had left: "Okay… okay, maybe there's something you can do! If…"

"If…?" asked Percival, expectantly.

"If you proceed with a soft penetration…"

"You're crazy as a bedbug! With a _virgin_? Do you have any idea of how tight a virgin's vagina can be…?"

"You're right" Humper sighed again "it was a dumb idea! If the ducts don't break, we'll need to quicken the SISAS' collapse."

"We need more incoming sensual energy" Fewer interjected "maybe if she touches his…"

"NO…!" Gus screamed hysterically "NOT WHILE IT'S STILL FLACCID: IT WILL DESTROY MY REPUTATION!"

"He's right" said Simons "moreover, I already told you: _she_ absolutely mustn't realize she's not exciting him!"

"Fine" Humper answered directly "then go back to your station and entertain her with a few sweet words… give me one minute, Hugh. Just one minute… and I swear it will blow up!"

Hugh Simons stared deeply at his colleague and read in his expression a kind of trust he wasn't sure of exactly how much desperate it was; granted that argument could make any sense.

"I'll try…!" and, on impulse, he offered his hand to him. After a tight, meaningful shake, Simons left the group, hurriedly coming back to his center.

* * *

Lum's chest, adorned with those two magnificent curves, heaved spasmodically as if stricken with convulsions. The silky skin of her face had lost its usual fairness to assume a color definitely more like purple. Her eyes, of a marvellous blue that shone as the green of her soft hair, were shimmering with imploring desire… Ataru was there, laying on top of her and fully determined to give her all of himself, yet still unable to concretize his wish of making her happy.

"Darling…" his woman finally asked with feeble voice "…what's wrong…? Is it me…?"

Hugh Simons, head of the Emotional section of that apparently so complicated boy, clenched his teeth while predisposing himself to make him answer. God knew how much he had feared that terrible question…!

"No… no, Lum! It's just… I feel like everything's too good to be true! Moreover…"

Laying on her back, she raised her hand tentatively and caressed the side of his face: "Moreover…?"

"Well, I'm… I'm afraid I don't deserve this…!"

"Darling…! How can you even just think something like that?"

He swallowed heavily and caressed her back: "Lum… can I ask you something?"

"Tell me…"

"Why did you fall in love with me?"

Lum widened her acqua marine eyes, but Simons' colleague immediately understood that was a true question and that he wasn't just stalling for time. She made the girl smile as sweetly as she could manage and allowed Lum to finally express what the alien girl had always thought: "At the beginning, probably I just wanted you on a whim! But then…"

"Then…?"

"Do you remember Imo-chan?"

Ataru looked puzzled. At a nod of Simons, Trynor contacted Fewer's section, where the mnemonic archive was sifted through in record time.

"The caterpillar…?"

The girl nodded, smiling: "Only you protected that poor innocent thing from our schoolmates. Only you wished for it to become a pretty butterfly, just like it happened. You've been so wonderful!"

"Lum…!"

"And that wasn't the only one time… that I noticed what nobody… and lucky for me _no girl_, ever noticed!"

"What is it…?"

"Your ardour… your kindness… your love for life! And also…"

"Also…?"

"…also that you loved me with all your heart… even if you were too proud to admit it!"_(2)_

A slight perception of moisture was registered by Lum's Sensitive, right upon the girl's nipples: a few tears spilled from her Darling's eyes! He started to talk, but his soul-mate rested a finger on his lips to be allowed to continue: "I don't know if that computer has been tampered or not… but if it is how things went, I bless whoever did that, Ataru…" said that, she threw her arms around his back and tenderly pulled him closer to her "… and now relax, Darling: let your body melt in mine…!"

* * *

Into the passage 26, that hosted the last survivor of the infamous ALIN_(3)_ system, was now reigning a pandemonium atmosphere, between the commotion of the continuous electrical discharges and their sinister flashes that illuminated the clouds of smoke caused by the VLF, produced by the contact with the roasting conductors of the ASD!

"Blow up, you son of a bitch… blow up…!" the usually stiff and calm Dick Hoffman roared insistently.

Jerry Humper stood motionlessly beside him, with crossed arms and a tense expression, his stare was pointed straightly at his diabolical creation, as if he was trying to telepathically command it to disappear off the face of the Earth!

No one ever knew if the end of that exhausting torment had been due to the extended corrosive effect of Lum's vaginal fluid on the conductors or because of her spicier and spicier caresses, that provoked the anew saturation of the internal condensers.

The girl finally got to the point of grabbing the still inert "junction joint"_(4)_ with her warm hand… Gus Percival, informed about the fact, started with fright…

"Shit" he swore "now she'll find out…!"

But, right when everyone (internal and external) was about to lose every hope left… the _Sensual Impulse Selective Auto Shunter_ n°13, the damned electronic chastity belt that blocked Ataru Moroboshi's virtue, finally hurtled down to the floor and the ominous rumble of its fall echoed into the ears of all the organic complements present as the most delightful sound they ever heard… aside, obviously, Lum's happy voice!

In the end, after uncountable mishaps, the "Tomobiki Wall", that had separated those two tender intergalactic souls for four years, was finally, ineluctably fallen down. Forever!

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1) Cfr. With the 33rd episode of the manga __**A Flying Start **__or with the 25th episode of the anime __**Fly, Imo!**_

_2)_ To _render unto Caesar what is Caesar's, I puntualize this consideration came from that notorious_ _fanzine mentioned into chapter 10. __(Andy Grim is talking)_

_3) Anti-Lum Inhibitor Network. _

_4) See note 3 of chapter 8._


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25: "Genetic to Operation Center: All the systems are working! I'll repeat: all the system are working!"

* * *

Right after the fall of the last ASD, a few assistants of the Sensitive approached the evil device and, following the instructions they were told previously, started spraying the contents of particular spray cans they brought with them upon it.

"What's that stuff?" Fewer asked to Humper.

"It's a bromide-based neutralizing compound, in order to disarm that thing completely."

"Good idea" the head of the Cerebral agreed. Then, after having thought for a moment, he asked "how the hell did you get Bromide _inside here_?"

His colleague shot a good-humored look at him: "Sweeper gave it to me. For years Mrs. Moroboshi - the mother one, I mean - fed him with it on breakfast, lunch and dinner, trying to make him less lecherous. But it wasn't nearly enough!"

Before Fewer had the chance of replying, one of Humper's assistants announced: "Sir, we're done here." The pitiful ASD was now completely covered with the mentioned substance.

"Good. Is the wire for the bypass ready?"

"Affirmative!"

"Let's get it started then: set the ladder." having said this, the head of the Sensitive had the man with the briefcase handing him a pair of insulating gloves. When he put his foot on the first step of the ladder, though, one of his collaborators stopped him:

"Let us deal with it, sir ."

"No, Logan" he answered firmly "I'll do it!"

"But…"

"I said no: look, I was the one who have castrated him, and now I'll be the one to fix him: I owe him!" having said this, he climbed up the ladder and took the conductor that, once placed between the shunter's connecting points, would have momentarily closed the sensual circuit toward Percival's center.

"Yo, Jerry… is that dangerous?" Brad Fewer asked, slightly upset.

"Not at all…" he answered, with a not too relaxed voice "… in any case, you all stay back, alright?"

"Please, boss, wait" the assistant with the briefcase interjected again "at least put these on!" he handed him a pair of protective goggles.

"Thank you, Slim" Humper smiled. Then he addressed the other two "give me that wire!" They handed him the conductor, which edges ended with two apposite eyebolts.

The head of the Sensitive immediately fastened one of them to the output terminal, which was connected to the Genetic receivers.

Done that, he took a deep breath and moved cautiously the second one closer to the input terminal, which was connected - through the emotional processor - to the mnemonic/perceptive sensors of the organism. As soon as the distance between the eyebolt and the terminal decreased over a certain degree, a strong electric arc instantly formed between them.

"JERRY…!" Fewer shouted worriedly.

"No fear, Brad" he answered, sweat pouring all over him "everything's under control!"

As the head-section nullified the distance, the arc increased in intensity and Humper was feeling his face being fiercely blazed up. Nevertheless he didn't give up and, with a last daring effort, he managed to fasten the remaining edge of the wire to the opposite terminal…

A terrifying flash (worth of Lum's worst raging) was followed by a resounding explosion; contemporaneously, Jerry Humper's body was knocked to the ground, together with the ladder!

"HOLY SHIT…!" Dick Hoffman shouted.

"Jerry… oh my God…! Jerry, are you alright…?" Fewer echoed him.

The heroic head of the Sensitive nodded, coughing hard, even if his face wasn't relaxed at all, considering the burns over it.

"It's done, Brad…" he hissed "…I did it!"

"You're completely insane. Look at yourself! You're a sight!"

"I'm okay…" he answered, panting "… help me up!"

Nervously, his colleagues helped him to his feet.

"You'd better go through medical examination!" Hoffman told him.

"Later!" Humper stubbornly answered, approaching the intersectional communicator. Once having grabbed the receiver he contacted the Genetic: "Gus…! Gus, you hear me…?"

"I hear you, Jerry." The other answered.

"We did it, Gus… that monster no longer exists! Now you've got all the current you need… make that poor girl happy already: She's waited way too much!"

Without waiting for the colleague's reply, Humper ended the communication and addressed the head of the Immunitary: "Dick… how much fluid has been left in the container?"

"An abundant one third, I think." Answered Hoffman, after having checked out.

"Good… it should be… enough for… the catalyzer!"

"Jerry… what's wrong…?" Fewer asked him with extreme concern.

"Don't worry, Brad… don't worry… everything's alright! Yes… now finally… everything… is gonna be alright…!" he closed his eyes, his head dropped lifelessly against his colleague's shoulder.

"Jerry…" his friend grabbed him by the shoulders and started shaking him "… Jerry, for Heaven's sake… JERRY…!"

Dick Hoffman quickly felt his pulse and pressed a hand tightly to his heart… luckily he soon let out a sigh of relief: "Don't worry, Brad: He's just fainted. Let's take him to the infirmary, come on!" he then said to his assistants.

While they carried him away, the head of the Cerebral felt that, after all the hard work the man had done, poor Jerry Humper would have doubtlessly deserved the most meticulous loving care from nurse Sakura herself!

* * *

In the same instant in which the valiant Humper was knocked to the ground by the violence of the explosion that followed the re-establishment of the sensual circuit, a few tens of centimetres below, the control panels of the Genetic center lighted up once again: after a hibernation of four years, three months and thirteen days, they could receive again the sensual impulses coming from that wonderful girl with green hair and golden horns.

August Percival (no need to say it) felt himself coming back to life the moment he saw the pointer of the galvanometer that was metering the working of the erective circuit leaving the "Zero" position to rapidly raise towards full-scale…!

As soon as the amperage surpassed the threshold that allowed the connection with the Cardiac section, the manometer that was registering the blood-pressure inside the junction joint showed its compass positioning on the value that would have finally allowed that memorable interplanetary "rendezvous"!

"Action stations" ordered the head-section "Let's repeat the check-list. Move!"

Instantly, all the components of the Genetic section settled behind the respective consoles.

"All the staff's in place, sir!" announced the coadjutor Pitt.

Percival took a deep breath and started that last control.

"Coronary arteries…"

"GO!"

"Adrenaline…"

"GO!"

"Heart rate…"

"We're GO!"

"Blood pressure…"

"GO, boss!"

"Internal temperature…"

"GO!"

"Combustive agent…"

"It's GO!"

"Calories…"

"GO!"

"Gastric juices…"

"GO!"

"TST…"

"It's GO, boss!"

"Inhibitor brakes…"

"GO!"

"Transfer fluid…"

"GO!"

"Gametes equilibrium…"

"GO!"

"DNA …"

"GO!"

"Prostate…"

"GO… !"

"Erective circuit…"

"GO… standard power level."

At this point August Percival, despite all his previous apprehensions, allowed himself to straighten his back and puffed his chest out with pride: "Genetic to Operation Center: All the systems are working! I'll repeat: all the system are working… !"

Straight after, a manifold and joyful "_hooray" _boomed in every section of the organism.

* * *

After that announcement, the indomitable Burt racer jumped back on his driving armchair, spat on his palms and grabbed the controls of the abdominal muscles: "Motor section to Operation Center: ready for the C condition. C'mon, guys" Racer told his assistants "we gotta another challenge to win. And we will win…!"_(1) (2)_

A discreet glance from Brad Fewer, who was just come back into the Operation Center, induced the Coordinator Wellington to curb the elevated enthusiasm of the head of the Motor that might have been counter-productive: maybe it was the case of dampening the unusual enthusiasm of the head of the Genetic too!

"Mr. Racer, Mr. Percival: I'm glad and proud of your determination" he told them "however, I believe it's appropriate to warn you not to let it get to your head! Remember this, instead: today you're representing the strong sex of the Earth! Uncountable fellow earthlings of Ataru Moroboshi would kill to be in his stead right now… make them proud!"

After a few seconds, the answer came instantly from both sections:

"Yes sir!"

Finally, after some more seconds, the screen of the emotional control situated into Hugh Simons' section, showed a message that all the organic components of the (once again) most lecherous boy of all the universe had always hoped and feared to see appearing for a long, long time: **TYPE C INTERCOURSE IN PROGRESS - SUBJECT: LUM…!**

**

* * *

**

It's the dawn of a new era in the world of the relationships among peoples of the cosmos: the first sexual intercourse between two individual of different planets… !

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1)__ Any resemblance with historical and/or political facts is only pure coincidence! (Andy Grim is talking)_

_2)__It's a reference of one of Benito Mussolini's speeches during the Second World War. (Ludra90 is talking)_


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26: "Welcome, we have been waiting a very long time for you!"

* * *

"Genetic to Motor: docking pressure reached" announced Gus Percival "it's up to you now, Burt: you may proceed with the rendezvous!"

"Roger" his colleague answered "we're in position… we're about to reach the transfer interface!"

"Be careful, Burt" interjected Hugh Simons "try not to push too hard: remember she's a virgin. Or at least she _should_ be…!"

That was an big error! Straight after that statement, the manometer that was metering the erective pressure registered a frightful drop. Percival freaked out: "Damn you, Hugh! What a thing to say at a time like this!"

"Sorry, Gus! But since Ataru is not her first love I thought…"

"SHUT UP SIMONS!" an exasperated A1 shouted.

"Sir" Pitt informed his boss "we're below the efficiency threshold again!"

"Goddamn it! What do we do now?"

Fortunately, once again the sharp Brad Fewer saved the situation: "No fear, Gus: there's a simple solution."

"Hurry up and tell me, then!"

"Sure" *he should have had figured it out by himself given his job, though * "kiss her: now you can get all the sensual impulses you need!"

"Ah, right" the head of the Genetic snapped his fingers "you're the man, Brad!"

"Thank you for being here, Fewer" the Coordinator told the head of the Cerebral with a sigh of relief.

Then he addressed the head of the Neuro "as for you, Mr. Simons, try to keep your shirt on, if you catch my drift…!"

"Yes sir!" the other answered, swallowing with mortification.

* * *

The contact with Lum's smooth and warm skin was something beyond description, let alone what he was feeling by the nipples! Without wasting anymore time, Ataru hugged his woman's back and put his mouth upon hers…

"Daaarling… mnh… !" the girl barely managed to say.

Now all the consequent perceptions… the softness of her lips, the taste of her saliva and the touch of her tongue were finally being fully received by the sensual processor. In fact after only a hundredth of second, the galvanometer and manometer's pointers on August Percival's console went back to maximum level!

"Here we go!" he said "Burt, you ready…?"

The head of the Motor answered promptly: "Junction joint in best position, right in front of the transfer interface!"

The head of the Genetic clenched his fists and straightened his back again. He took a final breath and declared: "OK… go in! And may Ampere, Volta and Watt watch over us…!"

As for reassuring August Percival, first pioneer of space sex_(1)_, Mrs. Lum Moroboshi murmured between her moans: "Now take me, Darling… and don't worry: look what I've got here…" she pointed at her horns.

With fair surprise (and immense relief) the husband noted that Lum's lovely - he always used to consider them as such - horns had been "embellished" with two tiny yellow bows from the infamous "made-in-Cherry"_(2) _ribbon that, neutralizing Lum's extraterrestrial powers for the time being, granted that no electric jolts, lethal or not, would have followed the woman's approaching orgasm.

Oddly enough, despite the extreme importance it represented, none of the three section having access to the monitor of the organism vision, noticed that detail.

That's alright for Jerry Humper, who was busy with the neutralization of the ALIN_(3)_system… that's alright for Burt Racer, who was an amateur with that kind of procedures… but this time, the majour gaffe had been made by the big boss himself.

"Why are you giving me that look, Fewer?" A1 protested "I'm allowed to make mistakes too, am I not?" then, to change subject, he addressed the intersectional communicator "Did you hear that, Mr. Percival? It's safe now. Proceed, Mr. Racer!"

"Y… ye… yes sir…!" the latter, who meanwhile had lost a bit of self-confidence, answered. He grabbed the lever that controlled the pelvis movements and announced:

"Push forward!"

As soon as the forepart of the junction joint made contact with the lips of the transfer interface, Gus Percival heard a worrying blast from behind him.

"What happened…?"

"The inhibitors 1 and 2 exploded, sir!" the operator assigned to their checking informed him.

The head of the Genetic suddenly was in a cold sweat: the INBYs_(4) _were five in total. If they had broken too early, the consequence would have been an embarrassingpremature ejaculation.

"Genetic to Motor" Percival called "take the PC up two notches!"_(5)_

"Roger!"

"Pitt, how high the level of excitement has gone?"

"We're at DEFCON3, sir!"

"Dammit, already? Burt hurry up and enter completely!"

The head of the Motor quickly obeyed. Although after a few seconds, he was almost knocked off his armchair, while the warning lights of the interested area indicated an overload: the junction joint had been blocked by an obstacle and, contemporarily, a shrill cry was heard coming from the girl.

"Now what the hell is happening…?" Racer swore.

"Drats, I forgot" answered Percival "it must be the hymen…!"

"Ah…" the naïve Pitt said "…so also Oni girls have it?"

"As far as it seems" his boss replied "at least now we know for sure she's a virgin!"

Ataru immediately pushed himself up, his hands reassuringly holding his wife's shoulders. He was smiling at him with joy, but her wonderful blue eyes were wet with tears.

"Lum…"

"Go on, Darling… come on…!"

"Okay, but… warn me if I'm hurting you…!"

She shook her head and reasserted: "Go on…!"

* * *

"What do I do, guys?" Burt Racer asked uneasily "We've crashed into something!"

"That was the hymen, Burt!" the colleague of the Genetic explained.

"That was what…?"

"It's a diaphragm we have to pierce through in order to further the penetration."

"What the hell is it there for?"

Percival snorted: "Mind if I tell you later? Now just get it out of the way!"

"Got it" answered the winner of the _onigokko(6)_, spitting on his palms "I'm gonna withdraw slightly to take a good run-up and then … full-speed ahead!" he said, working on the levers.

"Hey, just wait a moment" shouted the head of the Neuro, believing it wasn't the case to keep silent anymore "don't you dare hurt her more than necessary, you hear me? I'll kick your ass!"

"Then, what am I supposed to do?" Racer demanded.

"Perform a push that is constant and regular at the same time" the head of the Genetic chimed in "You see it will be enough." *I hope it will, at least* he mentally concluded, staring at the warning lights of the INBY, still in the "red alert" zone.

"Roger wilco…" the pilot confirmed again "…here I go!"

Ataru closed his eyes and started pushing again, but Lum cried emitted another cry, this time a little louder. Once again, he stopped…

"Dear… am I hurting you…?"

It was the first time he called her like that and Lum, despite the situation, found herself being happily marvelled by it. She smiled at him, even more sweetly than before: "No… I love you… come on, do it!" she clenched her lips, as to forbid herself to lament anymore.

"But…"

"DO IIIT…!"

But Ataru was seized by a moment of depression: *I… can't… I can't physically hurt her!*

Seeing his hesitation, Hugh Simons swore: "Hell's bells, he's not gonna make it…!"

*Damn that crappy diaphragm* Brad Fewer brooded *the day when biology will explain _what's the use _of that thing, apart from making psychologically difficult the first physical intercourse between a man and a woman, is gonna be a memorable event…!*

"Sir, the INBY n°3 just collapsed" informed Pitt from the Genetic "we're at DEFCON2!"

Gus Percival clenched his fists, desperate… when, at one point, the control of the abdominal muscle started moving by itself, without Burt Racer's assistance.

A direct shove on Ataru's bottom caused the last necessary movement that allowed the full introduction of the junction joint inside the transfer interface and the sensors situated at the member's extremity clearly signalled the hymen had been perforated.

Lum had taken care of that last impasse herself and the tactile receivers of Humper's section confirmed the positioning of Ataru Moroboshi's abdomen upon the lap of his wonderful partner.

Sighing in relief, even deeper than the pilot of a command module of the _Apollo_ missions would do after the successful docking with the LEM, Burt Racer was finally ready to make the long-awaited announcement: "Motor to Operation Center: docking complete!"

"We did it…!" Brad Fewer commented much to his satisfaction, giving a thumbs up.

A1 nodded without commenting.

* * *

The sensation of being completely enveloped by her pervaded him, Ataru pushed himself up again, contemplating the face of his sweet companion. She kept her eyes closed, wet from the tears the pain of the defloration had caused her… her chest was heaving, less and less frantically, together with those wonderful breasts.

Finally she opened her eyes and smiled at him in ecstasy, as to prove how happy she was in that moment.

"Mine…" she murmured, delighted and almost bewildered "…you are all mine! And I'm all yours… forever!"

At this point, Ataru Moroboshi once and for all managed to overcome his last psychological inhibitions. Hugh Simons typed once again the sentence that the emotional processor had regularly rejected up until that moment… this time, though, the answer was positive and the message was routed toward the Sensitive, that is to say, toward the vocal cords.

"Lum…" Ataru whispered, gazing into his woman's eyes "…I LOVE YOU…!"

New tears, no more of pain (now completely vanished), flowed out from Lum's blue eyes. Abandoning herself to real tears of joy, the _Oni Princess_ tenderly embraced her Earth Prince, who managed to complete that difficult journey of twelve light-years to finally join with her.

Now not Shinobu, nor Ran, Kurama, Elle or any other girl in the cosmos could have taken him away from her! She then decided to get her last revenge…

While relishing the fantastic feeling her Darling's member was giving her, pulsing inside her, she took his face in her hands: "See Darling? Finally I made you say it!"

Ataru, though, didn't rise to her bait. He showed off a worldly-wise expression and answered: "True enough. Although it's not fair with your_ little friend_ down there…!"

She burst into joyful laughter, then kissed him again.

Hugh Simons made an announcement through the intersectional communicator: "Mr. Wellington: the Sensitive received a message coming from the partner's Neuro… I ask for permission to transmit it to all sections."

The coordinator exchanged a consultative look with the head of the Cerebral, who answered with a nod that the other took as a simple 'why not?'.

"Permission granted, Mr. Simons!"

"Okay… here it is: _To our colleagues from Earth:_ _welcome, we have been waiting a very long time for you, but finally you're here. Now go for it…!_"

Chris Wellington grimaced and looked at Fewer again, who just snickered.

"Reply: _To our colleagues from Uru: well met and sorry about the delay. We'll do our best to compensate!_"

"Roger that, commander" answered Simons "I'll send it right away!"

"Good… Genetic and Motor, it's up to you now: do your job. And do it right!"

While acknowledging that last order, the deft August Percival, finally free from his worries about the infamous "orgasmic jolt", suddenly found himself wondering if the calories provided by the Metabolic would have been enough to fully satisfy Mrs. Lum after four years of forced abstinence!

Even if it'd have been proper, he didn't dare to ask poor Sweeper… he didn't have time for that anyway, since Burt Racer's uruseian colleague had already started the pelvic thrusts of Ataru's young lover…

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1)__ According to the chronicle, the second one should have been Rudy McKenzie, head of the Genetic section of Tetsuya Wakatsuki (Outlanders). _

_2) The yellow ribbon had probably been that monk's only useful creation in his whole life! _

_3) See note 3 of Chapter 24._

_4) See note 3 of Chapter 17._

_5) The __**pubococcygeus**__ muscle. It serves - within limits - to control 'unwanted leaks'. _

_6) The challenge of the Oni, consisting in the famous tag race._


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27: "Do you believe that's fair toward them?"

* * *

If someone had seen the conditions of Moroboshi's internal sections right after the fulfilment of the last C intercourse, performed during his first wedding night with the _Oni Princess_ (or, as the members of the Genetic used to call her, the _Ogress Goddess_), they would have witnessed quite a disturbing sight: everywhere, around all the operation stations as into the transitory passages, _all_ the biological staff members laid motionlessly, sound asleep, mainly due to the nearly utter exhaustion the performance (or better, the performanc_es_) concerning the conjugal duty had just caused.

Some of them had collapsed upon their own console with their hands still reaching for the controls, others were lying directly on the floor with sprawled limbs and gaping mouths… no one, not a _single one_ was left standing: not even the members of the Immunitary section!

After all, when one exits the dealership building after having bought a brand new car, the sellers usually recommend him to _never_ push completely on the accelerator and to moderate the load of work required to the vehicle, at least during the testing period… recommendation about which the organic colleagues inside the intergalactic partner's organism didn't even give a damn of!

The prevision of Barry Pitt, the Genetic head-section's coadjutor - "_they're gonna give us a good drubbing!_" - turned out to be tragically correct!

The last ones to fall had been obviously Hoffman's crew members, not much later than Humper's ones. The heroic head of the Sensitive, as soon as his assisted Ataru fell asleep, didn't even waited for him to reach the third stage of sleep: he had been content with the second one and started working like crazy to remove from the central nervous system all the diverter circuits that just a few hours before were routing the sensual impulses coming from Lum toward the now deactivated ALIN system.

Then he had gone back inside his laboratory, he had quickly tidied his papers up and, without even considering his cot, sprawled out limp on his writing desk, utterly worn out. The removal of the shunting points where the ASDs were previously connected would have been taken care of by his technicians the following days.

Even the great commander Armstrong (ops, I mean, Percival) had fallen asleep upon his glorious battle-station where he had been carried to by Pitt and other assistants. Behind him, acrid columns of whitish smoke were rising from the INBY n°5, the only inhibitor brake still intact, while the smithereens of the other four laid all over the place.

The ears of the Genetic staff members (and every other staff members) had buzzed for hours after that their colleagues inside the receiver organism had reached climax…

"DAAAAAARRLIIIIIIIIIIIIN'…!"

All the intensity gauges went full-scale and the electro-acoustic translators_(1)_ that sent auditory information to Cerebral and Neuro, had gone off-order for at least half a hour.

Nevertheless, the "Moroboshi spacecraft" had succeeded in its task: even if they were at DEFCON1 for many thrusts, the last INBY had resisted and the mechanism that released the STF_(2)_ had set off just a tenth of second _after_ the orgasm of the counterpart.

The huge sigh of relief coming out of Percival's chest had been extremely liberating…

"It's done, guys" he exclaimed addressing his subordinates "we did it…!"

All the members of the Genetic section joyfully manifested their happiness, cheering and applauding. Soon after, Burt Racer's voice spoke through the intersectional communicator: "Have I got it right, Gus? Do you confirm that? She came before him…?"

Percival, for being so timorous and awkward at the beginning of the story, had straightened up once again and answered his colleague: "Affirmative, Motor. Thanks for your collaboration: your moves have been winning. Earth 3-0 Uru… for now!"_(3)_

"HURRAAAYYY…!" the winner of the new intergalactic challenge couldn't hold in his enthusiasm.

Even Chris Wellington had spoken with authoritative voice: "Coordinator to Genetic and Motor: well done, guys. Well done!" and proudly gave a thumbs up.

Burt Racer had maintained his promise: thanks (also) to him, Ataru Moroboshi, the guy (casually?) chosen by the notorious computer of the Uru interspace information center, had won for the third time and the head of his Motor could have now stopped worrying about being used as a scapegoat.

* * *

_Earth 3__-0 Uru… for now!_ had stated Gus Percival. And he was right… like hell the Organic Council of the newly proclaimed Mrs. Moroboshi - especially the Genetic - was going to be content with just one intercourse, that night!

Without even giving Patrick Moore's team time to make their assisted breath, _Mrs. Lum_'s Motor had grabbed the head of her now officially "christened" husband and had kissed him so passionately to almost instantly fully recharge the junction joint!

"Second round, Gentlemen!" the head of the Genetic had commented as soon as he had seen the pointer of the manometer raising back to the pressure level workable for a new intercourse.

"Let's hope we have enough calories, boss!"

"Yeah, let's hope it, Pitt… 'cause I'm afraid it's not going to be only another one…!"

In fact that second intercourse hadn't been the last one… nor the second last or the third last either! And the Genetic hadn't been the only section that started creaking: after the third and the fourth time, Moore had started seriously worrying about the conditions of the coronaries, while poor Sweeper (Larry Meals) had registered a dreadful drop of the sugars supply into the circulatory system.

As for the Motor… well, the awesome pilot Collins (er, Racer) couldn't forget all the acrobatic running he had to do, at the time, to catch that high-spirited young girl during the infamous race for Earth independence, not to mention all the grappling moves concomitant with their fights, always followed by the usual electroshocks… all of that, though, was a joke, if compared with the performances his randy wifey had demanded that first night of married life.

And if that's a good start…

* * *

In conclusion, as it was said before, the internal conditions of the Earthling human male organism of Ataru Moroboshi, that had somehow survived the attainment of his neo-marriage duties, could have looked like a battlefield full of dead bodies to eventual outsiders' eyes…

… outsiders - or better - _aliens_ who actually had entered.

In fact, as soon as her valiant hubby collapsed in exhaustion after the umpteenth intercourse, his sweet (_spicy_, Meals' note) wifey had kept holding him, cuddling him close to her, and kissed him one last time. Then, _at last_ (as the whole organic team of her husband had shouted) she also had surrendered to a restorative deep slumber.

Although… right during that last kiss, through the newlyweds' mouths, a small squad coming from Lum's Uruseian human female organism had entered into the food-sampling interface_(4)_ and was now trudging toward the Metabolic section innards…

"Yuk" exclaimed one of the members "it's so slimy!"

"Yeah, generally tongues tend to be like that." answered the squad-leader.

"It's so damn dark too!"

"Mouths don't need to be illuminated, Sue. Be patient: once we're inside, there'll be light."

"Granted that our colleagues have left enough energy to feed the emergency circuit!" a third one commented.

"It's a proper doubt, Leanna… let's just hope these earthling boys are tougher than they seem!"

A crystalline laugh followed that joke.

"Keep it down, girls…! Do you want to be found out already?"

"I think they're all in the arms of Morpheus, ma'am!"

"Probably, but it's not worth risking: it is possible that some Immunitary member could be still around. I heard that Dick Hoffman is a particularly scrupulous guy!"

While talking, the four members of the Oni squad had reached the end of the throat.

"Which direction, captain?"

The other raised her electric torch. She then took a look at her notes and answered: "That way!"

"Are you sure? These organisms might be not exactly the same as ours."

"Of course they are: that's the windpipe… we need to reach the Cardiac section so we'll be able to enter through the hatch for ventricular inspections. Do you follow me?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good… let's go in!"

* * *

"Here we are…!" exclaimed the squad-leader as soon as they reached a hatch large enough to let pass through just one person at a time.

"Can you open it?" asked Sue.

"No problem!"

With deft and expert hands, the squad-leader unlocked the inner latch. Her subordinate wondered how could Earth biotechnology being so backward not to even provide a locking system in order to prevent non-authorized introductions!

As soon as the hatch was opened, the leader of that small organic alien squad crossed the fissure and found herself inside a vertical duct equipped with a ladder that led upward. An arrow, also vertical, quoted the writing: **TO THE CONTROL ROOM**.

The squad-leader shook her head and whispered to the others: "Let's go up!"

The pit ended with a second trapdoor, another writing upon it: **PUSH TO OPEN**. This time the alien explorer hesitated a little, then smirked mockingly and pushed up the trapdoor with no more hesitation.

After a few seconds Lum's organism squad found itself inside the Cardiac section control room, which panels were reporting the regular working of the pumping station. Everything seemed alright, apart from the coronary parameters gauges, still dangerously warning a red alert.

Two Cardiac technicians were sunk into their armchairs, snoring loudly…

"A heck of a way to keep an eye on things" the squad-leader murmured "sweet dreams, guys!" then she quickly reached the door that brought to the corridor, cautiously opening it by little. Reassured by the dead silence, she burst open that door too and got out, followed by her team-mates.

The passage was faintly illuminated by the dim lights of the emergency system, but it was still enough to let them proceeding. The squad-leader switched her electric torch off.

"The lights are working, Miss Mavis."

"Yeah… it looks like they have left a few calories, after all."

"Where shall we head now?"

"Let's see… the Neuro should be alongside. So I think…"

"Wait, it's written there: look!"

The squad-leader looked up toward the wall in front of her and her eyes goggled at the sight of two arrows quoting the following indications:

**CEFALIC SECTIONS (CEREBRAL – SENSITIVE – MOTOR): ABOVE**

**BODILY SECTIONS (IMMUNITARY – METABOLIC – GENETIC): BELOW**

**NEUROLOGIC SECTION: 5 CENTIMETRES TO THE LEFT**

"Unbelievable… I bet we will find a doormat whit a _Welcome!_ writing in front of the Immunitary entrance…!"

"Do you think they're making fun of us?" asked her assistant Sue.

Her superior looked at her and smiled good-humoredly: "it's four years they're making fun of us, for that matter. C'mon, let's go!"

* * *

Also inside the emotional control center the staff of the Neuro was completely k.o. Someone had managed to settle on a mat, but most of them just laid on the ground.

As for the head-section, he was sound asleep on his armchair with his arms dangling and his head leaned back.

"I see they've given up here too" Judy Mavis, the head of the explorative patrol, commented "you two stand guard over the corridor" she told the others "Sue and me will handle things inside here."

"Yes ma'am!"

"I'd really like to see how are their conditions down at the Genetic!" Sue spoke.

"I'm afraid you'll have to refrain your curiosity" replied Judy "because as soon as we're done here, we'd better flee fast! As I already said, I don't fell like excluding the possibility that some Immunitary member might be still awake."

"Of course ma'am. Although… about what we're doing… do you believe that's fair toward them?"

The squad-leader sighed: "Fair or not, it's what we've been ordered to do. C'mon, let's get it started!"

At this point Sue approached the motionless body of the head of the Neuro and, overcoming every residual hesitation, first went through his pockets and then into his coat collar, whispering: "You don't mind… do you, Mr. Simons?"

Soon enough she extracted a little shiny key, secured with a necklace that Lum's organic agent quickly removed off the sleeping man's neck.

Before handing it over to her superior, though, Sue Ellen examined the key laying on the palm of her hand: "I keep believing we're acting wrong, ma'am… soon they would have given it to us ourselves!"

"Maybe… but probably they wouldn't have done first what we've come to do now. Moreover, after all the trouble Mr. Moroboshi put Mrs. Lum through, better safe than sorry. Give me that!"

Sue obeyed contritely and handed the Relational Block Key to Miss Mavis, key that, by the strict normative rules of the Biological Regulations, the responsible of the Emotional section must have always on him and take everywhere with him._(5)_

Once having take it, the squad-leader Mavis approached the console of an unaware Hugh Simons.

She was relieved as she noted that those neuronic controls were exactly alike to the ones of the organism she came from and, with no further hesitation, she keyed in the instructions regarding the procedure she had come to carry out.

After having gained access to the control home page, Judy Mavis opened the following screen:

**GENERAL OPTIONS**

And, among the possible choices, she picked this one:

**PREFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIP ****BLOCK ENTRY**

Once confirmed it, on the monitor appeared the next instruction:

**INSERT THE RELATIONAL BLOCK KEY AND TURN IT IN 'STAN****DBY POSITION'**

Did that, the display reported the message:

**ISERT SELECTED NOMINATIVE**

The herald of Lum's Neuro wiped at her forehead, then tipped the name that was so important for millions of Earth boys, but so vital for just one of them.

**PRESS 'ENTER' TO CONFIRM**

Judy proceeded…

**THE NOMINATIVE HAVE BEEN REGISTERED**

**WARNING: ONCE THE BLOCK IS SET IT WON'T BE POSSIBLE TO REMOVE IT WITHOUT REPEATING THE PROCEDURE WITH THE KEY**

**THE SOLE COPY PRESENT IN THE WHOLE ORGANISM IS KEPT BY THE NEURO**

**IN CASE OF DESTRUCTION OR LOSS ONLY THE NEURO OF THE GENERATOR ORGANISM IS ABLE TO PROVIDE A SPARE ONE**_**(6)**_

Right below, the fatal question:

**PRESS 'EXIT' TO CANCEL OR 'ENTER' TO CONFIRM**

At that point Miss Mavis glanced to the side, hoping to catch an approving look back from her assistant… but Sue just stared at her, trying to look emotionless. At that, the alien organic agent made up her mind and confirmed.

**TURN THE KEY IN 'SET POSITION' WITHIN ****10 SECONDS**

**ONCE THE COUNT DOWN IS ****OVER THE PREVIOUS MESSAGE WILL BE REPEATED**

As the seconds decreased, Judy's hand got shakier and shakier… when the count down reached 4, Lum's envoy murmured: "Forgive us, Ataru… we're doing this for _her_ sake… and also for your own!" and turned the key.

**PREFERENCE**** BLOCKED ON THE DESIGNED NOMINATIVE**

**RI-ELABORATION OF RELETIONAL COEFFICIENTS IN PROGRESS**

**WAIT THE END OF THE PROCEDURE**

Judy Mavis wiped at her forehead again and closed her eyes, resting her hands on the console edge. While she waited for the outcome of that disputable operation, she wondered if some male organic patrol had ever invaded a female Neuro to steal the heart of a woman and then hand it over on a plate to the suitor who had requested it.

Personally, she very much doubted that.

* * *

Finally an extended BEEP indicated that the operation had been completed.

Its perpetrator had to use all of her braveness to force herself to look at the screen…

**THE OPERATION HAS BEEN COMPLETED SUCCESFULLY**

**PRESS 'ENTER' TO VISUALIZE THE NEW CODES LEVEL**

With still trembling, but firm, hand the squad-leader coming from Lum pressed the indicated key and immediately the first of the five pages regarding the names of the females met by Ataru Moroboshi's organism appeared on the display, it was very changed since the last check-up carried out by Lum Simons.

**Pos.] Subject |R.C. Pts.| Zone - Notice**

**1] Lum [LOCKED] |1974****| LOVE - official**

**2] Shinobu Myake |998****| AFFECTION - official**

**3] Sakura |751****| AFFECTION - official**

**4] Ran |375****| AFFECTION - official**

**5] Ryoko Mendo |372****| AFFECTION - official**

**6] Oyuki |298****| SYMPATHY - official**

**7] Benten |283****| SYMPATHY - official**

**8] Kurama |278****| SYMPATHY - official**

**9] Ryunosuke Fujinami |127****| SYMPATHY - official**

**10] Asuka Mitzunokoshi |6****4| SYMPATHY - official**

**11] Tsuyuko Amamori |****49| CONSIDERATION - official**

**12] Elle Rosenbach |25****| CONSIDERATION - official**

**Current Update page 1 by 5 next page**

Later on the responsible of Ataru's Neuro would have found out that, in addition of a wedge that prevented any girl to overcome the 1000 points threshold - making the circumstance of an eventual love triangle impossible - the emotional processor had also recalculated the coefficients of all the other female subjects through the reality of how Ataru felt (or better, what he had always felt) about his wonderful partner from outer space.

It must be taken into account that the level of some of the girls firstly corresponding to a relationship based on fondness was due to a slightly "forced" emotional interpretation, caused by a synthesis still too much conditioned by the aesthetical aspect (we're talking about Ran, Kurama and Ryoko Mendou)._(7)_

Now, instead, the affection and the sympathy regarding the most important persons met by the organism were much more objective and real.

Anyway, that's the reason the four components of the 'Lumic' squad had came for: their mission consisted in fact in stealing once and for all _Darling_'s heart, in order to avoid for their assisted to suffer further fickle behaviours from her now official hubby.

The _Oni princess _Organic Council had discussed for a long time over the opportunity of doing such a thing… Miss Venus, the head-section of the Neuro, had tried to convince their Coordinator to postpone it, claiming that over the last days Mr. Moroboshi's antics had been so commendable to deserve - finally - Mrs. Lum's trust: hadn't he married her? Hadn't he made her happy? Hadn't he told her _I love you_? Hadn't he satisfied all of her wishes? What else could have she possibly wished more…?

But Miss Rowena Starlet (or rather, L1) the Coordinator of Lum's organism, refused to listen to reason: their assisted had suffered too much in those four years of cohabitation and she couldn't have stood further betrayals - even if just platonic - from the boy. Their union had been way too difficult to realize, not to be protected too!

After all Moroboshi did show regrets, those few times Lum had manifested her suffering due to his cheating ways, instead of just unleashing her electric rage on him. So avoiding for him to fall into future temptations was also for Ataru's own sake!

Moreover, Miss Agilla Aphros, responsible of the Genetic, suspected the young man had accepted to marry Lum _also _to be finally able of satisfying his sexual appetite, since any other girl was rejecting him!

That last consideration had made the Council members to vote almost unanimously for that Operation that had just been executed inside Lum's consort.

"Our colleagues will be mad at us!" the cautious Eileen Venus had pointed out.

"Of course they will" the Coordinator Rowena Starlet had nodded "but you'll see that, once everything's over, they'll thank us!"

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1) The eardrums._

_2) See note 2 of chapter 11._

_3) "2-0" had been the score after the second tag-race. _

_4) The mouth._

_5) Actually, not all the human organisms - especially male ones - follow this strict rule: in fact, the head of Alan Asuka's Neuro (Philip Mardowe) didn't carry it around with a necklace, instead he left it on the emotional processor console. So, a squad coming from Seya… but that's another story! _

_6) That had made impossible for Alan's organic team to remove the block, since Mrs. Asuka was already dead._

_7) See chapter 10._


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28: "Misogynous bastards… I can't believe it…!"

* * *

The envoy from Lum's Neuro pulled out the key and shoved it into her suit pocket.

"Let's get out" she told her assistant "we've nothing left to do here!"

"Roger, ma'am" Sue Ellen replied, mulling over the fact they had done way too much. They quickly got back in the corridor, where their team-mates were waiting for them.

"We can leave" announced Miss Mavis.

"Squad-leader" one of them spoke "there's something you need to see!"

"What is it?"

"A strange thing we've found over there… we'd seek your opinion." the assistant named Leanna answered.

Miss Mavis followed her team-mate who brought her, through a short portion of the passage, to a place where two mysterious connection terminals were sticking out of the wall. The wall itself was showing clear traces of some kind of violent reaction: it was blackened down to the floor and scattered with big patches of corrosion.

"By the tiger-striped unicorn!_(1)_ What in the world has happened here…?"

"It must've been some kind of apparatus, no doubt about it." said Leanna.

"Yes, probably" Sue replied "but which kind of apparatus?"

"We don't know" answered Leanna "surely, though, it does concern those terminals' function."

"What function?" the squad-leader demanded.

"Read those labels, ma'am."

Judy Mavis narrowed her eyes and noticed that near one of the two terminals there was a plate quoting the writing **SENSUAL CURRENT IMPUT**, while a second one near the other terminal was quoting **SENSUAL CURRENT OUTPUT. **To cap it all, a third plate - a little blackened, but still readable - dominated the wall underneath the terminals and the alien explorers could read a rather ominous writing upon it: **ANTI-SEDUCTION DEVICE N°13**.

If those morons of the Sensitive had just written the mere acronym _ASD_, probably the coadjutor of Lum's Neuro wouldn't have even bothered to figure out the function of the device previously connected to those terminals. But finding out it had to do with an "anti-seduction device" not only made no sense, but also disturbed her to no end.

*How can such a device exist _inside her_e? That idiot used to get aroused even by seeing a _Barbie _exposed at the toyshop!*

Finally a hideous suspect forced its way through her mind, ending up crystallizing in it: "No… it can't be… no, that would go way too far!"

"What's the matter, ma'am?" Sue asked softly.

Judy didn't answer her and addressed the member of their Sensitive: "Leanna, did you figure out what there was upon there?"

"I'm afraid yes, ma'am… but I'd need some confirmation to be totally sure."

The squad-leader nodded firmly: "Okay, let's pay a visit to the Sensitive then!"

"Do we have time for that, Miss Mavis?" Sue chimed in.

"We must take the chance. We're not getting out of here without verifying such a doubt! Moreover, it's on the way back. Come on, let's hurry!"

* * *

After having gone up to the Cefalic zone - and having found other five connection stations belonging to those mysterious devices along their way - the members of the uruseian organic patrol finally reached the entrance of Jerry Humper's section, supervised (so to speak) by a couple of slumbering Immunitary members. The sound of their loud snores was somehow reassuring…

"These dudes ain't gonna wake up for at least a week!" commented Judy Mavis.

"Have you noticed the safety boots they're wearing? What do you think they're for?"

The colleague of the Sensitive, Leanna, answered with a smirk and pointed at the writing upon the wall warning not to lean in to avoid being electrocuted by external jolts. To make the concept easier to get, she then imitated the usual posture Lum did every time she threw lightings at her beloved one.

"Oh, I see" exclaimed Sue Ellen "poor things…!"

"_Poor things_ my foot!" Judy categorically retorted. She then opened the entrance and entered the chamber. Inside all the panels were in stand-by mode while the floor was occupied by the bodies of a few technicians, sound asleep as everyone else.

The squad-leader walked to a second door quoting a writing that indicated the head-section's office.

"Mr. Humper, my lad… I hope mine are just stupid scientific fantasies. I really hope it… for your sake!" said that, she opened the door.

Jerry Humper's laboratory was piled with instruments for chemical and electric analysis. The walls had charts upon them, one of which was immediately recognized by Leanna as the summary of all the electric shocks Ataru's organism had received over the last years; a few notes from Hoffman reported the entity of the damages Ataru had suffered due to them.

*I'm sorry… I hope that won't be anymore necessary!* Leanna thought with a small prick of conscience: she was the one who had been charged with delivering those electroshocks.

The head of Moroboshi's Sensitive was sleeping across his workdesk, surrounded by mounds of sheets full of formulas and calculations. He had his head resting on his folded arms and showed a slightly smiling expression.

"Clear conscience, uh? Much the better for you!" Miss Mavis commented in a low voice, quickly flipping through all those documents "Nothing… maybe… no, this has nothing to do with it… then maybe this? No, this one neither!"

"Ma'am… maybe here!" Sue Ellen had spotted a locker labelled **ARCHIVE** and, with the intuition that every assistant has, she immediately figured out that was the right place to search. The squad-leader nodded starting examining the locker's content.

After finding nothing in the first two drawers, inside the third one…

"Ah… I found it!" Miss Mavis exclaimed after having rummaged for a few seconds to find a file labelled **ASD**. She quickly pulled it out and handed it over her colleague, after having extracted the content. She feverishly scanned the documents with uneasy eyes…

**ALIN SYSTEM PROJECT**

**(Anti-Lum inhibitor Network)**

**Paragraph 1:**

**Characteristics of** **the** **SISAS device (Sensual Impulse Selective Auto Shunter) – Electronic Parameters – Installation Procedure – Working Range**

**Paragraph 2:**

**Connection Outline – Ignition and Running – Calibration of the Inhibitor Subject**

**Paragraph 3:**

**Discharging Procedure – Working Check – System Disabling**

"Misogynous bastards" her lips trembling "I can't believe it…! Leanna!"

"Yes, Miss Mavis." the colleague of their Sensitive answered. When Leanna walked next to her, Judy handed her the file.

"Take a look… and please tell me it's not true!"

Leanna carefully examined the content of the documents and soon figured out what they described.

"I can't believe my eyes… our scientists had studied something like this to prevent sexual abuses, but it had been marked as an impracticable project. They can't have possibly succeeded!"

"It's evident they have" Judy replied, trying to hold back her rage "damned sons of a bitch! I swear… poor Lum…!"

"Now I see why she's never managed to seduce him! And also why her husband had trouble to… well, to get to the point, last night: probably they had problems in disabling it."

Miss Mavis nodded: "Evidently they've gone through some kind of complication. But why they didn't disabled it in advance, then?"

"We should ask him for that!" answered Leanna, turning to Humper, who was still sleeping peacefully.

"Yeah… that's what the Organic Council's gonna do. Together with many other questions!"

"Are you thinking about…"

"That's right, Leanna: we will take him back with us. Girls" the other two members of the team walked in, ready for orders "Take that diabolical brain and let's leave this fucking lair of male chauvinists!"_(2)_

"But ma'am" protested Sue Ellen "we can't kidnap a member from the Organic Council of the counterpart… it's against all the rules!"

Judy sneered: "Bullshit! They've been the ones breaking the rules first! C'mon, quickly, before someone wakes up."

Without any other reply, Sue Ellen and the fourth member of the uruseian organic commando grabbed poor Jerry Humper by his legs and armpits and carried him out, followed by Mavis and Leanna. The latter closed the door.

The airflow caused by the movement moved some of the sheets on Humper's desk, one of them fell on the ground… since the head of the Sensitive was sleeping right on it, no one of the invaders had the chance of spotting it, let alone reading the writing upon it:

**ATARU'S MONOGAMY INDUCTIVE SENSITIVE CATALYZER**

**(Based on the progesterone element contained in Lum's VLF)**

Jerry Humper had worked for hours on that project, after having completely neutralized the infamous ALIN network… and he was going to realize it, right after a well-deserved rest.

But now… will he ever be able to do it?

* * *

_NOTES:_

_1) It's Lum's zodiacal sign._

_2)__More than 'fucking' I'd say 'fucked'… in every possible sense! (Percival is speaking) _


End file.
